Confessions from a Fundamentalist Childhood, part 2

[BrightBlueDot]

I grew up in not just a fundamentalist church, but also a fundamentalist school. (I use the term "school" loosely.)

They were and are of the Pentecostal/Charismatic stripe, which means they believe in praying in tongues, being "slain in the Spirit" (falling down; think Benny Hinn's crusades from TV), "holy laughter" (laughing maniacally, often falling to the floor while doing so) and other "manifestations of the Holy Spirit."

Well, by the time I was 12, I knew it was a bunch of horseshit. In the Bible, the gift of tongues was said to be actual other languages -- you know, you speak English, the person next to you speaks Russian, and suddenly God allows you to speak perfect Russian as a testament to His power. If one believes the Bible to be true (something I'm not sure about), it's quite clear that the gift of tongues was NOT what you see today in those circles -- the babbling of gibberish. Shanda la tie tie tie a bow tie she buy a honda.....

Anyway, so during my tenth grade year, my classmates and I figured out that if we were "slain in the Spirit" during chapel and just lay there on the floor, the adults wouldn't wake us up. They were very proud of the way "the Holy Spirit" took over in our chapel services. So, it became a regular thing, especially on days when we had tests in the periods following chapel, to be "slain in the Spirit" and lie on the floor for hours.

Great naps. Good times.

This is how I survived adolesence. LOL.

[BrightBlueDot]

1. Shameless kick.

Any other Christian "school" graduates here?

:kick:

[Cygnusx2112]

2. I was supposed to, but luckily the bus driver kept forgetting

...to pick me up. I ended up going to the public school across the street.

I call him St. Gus and he forever altered the course of my life.


God Bless You St. Gus!

<edited for clarity>

But seriously...sorry to hear that. Someone very close to me recently got disentangled from a fundie church.
Turns out the pastor would disappear down to Florida with a young male aid and make advances on him

His wife and half the congregation didn't take too kindly to it, so he picked up the other half of the congregation and moved down there.


I'd be interested to hear any other stories :)

[BrightBlueDot]

4. Blessings upon St. Gus!

:D

[murielm99]

6. I was supposed to go too, but

my brothers didn't want to. They looked to me to get us out of it, so I said I would take care of it.

I made sure I got kicked out. So, of course they had a good reason to say that since I wasn't going, they weren't going either. We all went to public school after that.

[XemaSab]

3. That is shameless!

:O

[BrightBlueDot]

5. Yep!

:evilgrin:

[Kat45]

7. "Speaking in tongues"

I read it in the Bible the same way you do. Why all these idiots interpret it the way the do, I have no idea. I remember reading somewhere that there was some Pentacostal-type church in which they believed one couldn't go to heaven if he didn't speak in tongues. Such BS.

[Cygnusx2112]

8. I just hunted down pt.1...very interesting.

Glad all that is in the past :)

:hug:

[BrightBlueDot]

9. Thanks.

It is nice to have a place to talk about it. These sentiments of mine are anathema around here in Red State Hell.