What is the hardest decision you ever had to make?

[ryanus]

Mine was that I decided that I had to confront someone in my family with something they did, and not hate them for it, but try to salvage the relationship as much as possible. The easy road would have been to cut them off forever.

[murielm99]

1. I have a manipulative,

abusive mother.

I told her 'NO' about something. I was 35 years old at the time. It was very hard to do. She didn't speak to me for a couple of years because of it. But that was no great loss.

[cobalt1999]

2. deciding to have children or not.

That was tough.

Cost, potential bad scenarios, time commitment, changes in lifestyle, worry. Tough to know if you're ready to handle it.

We decided to go for it and got lucky and have the greatest daughters in the world, at least according to Dad. :)

[wain]

4. Making the decision to finally grow up

I had to decide between playing baseball or to finish my last year of college.

I chose to stop being a kid and be an adult - I finished college. It was really tough, but I was newly married. I made the right choice.

:)

[bertha katzenengel]

16. are you playing ball now?

just curious . . . i love baseball

[wain]

28. No.

I stopped pretending I could play in the bigs more than 30 years ago.

[av8rdave]

3. Filing for divorce

Although given the years leading up to it, I suppose it was actually a no brainer....in retrospect, there was no other "choice," but it felt that way at the time.

[NC_Nurse]

5. Same here.

Leaving was SO hard. I'm so glad I did tho...

[av8rdave]

6. I'm glad you are comfortable with your choice.

I am as well. That was 13 years ago, and I have never regretted it.

[lizziegrace]

7. Count me in

It took a couple of very bad years to realize that I *did* deserve better. That was 5 years ago. Still waiting on better.
:)

[av8rdave]

8. better will come along...

you certainly deserve it!

[lizziegrace]

10. Thank you

I'm hoping it will. But if it never does, at least I haven't stayed in a marriage where I was "a whole lot of nothing special".

:)

[Bucky]

15. Divorcing went smooth but I really agonized about filing for child support

It caused a world of strain and technically I could have raised my kid without the help. In terms of actual dollars, I may even come out short in the long run--before there was a chance that my ex would have helped paying for college for our child--which will probably cost an arm and a leg. At this point I don't think there's a chance in hell that she'll pony up one dime once the Buckette gets her high school diploma.

Part of the tough decision was that the mom had quit a very nice paying job just a few months after getting the first family court judgment of what her child support payments should be. She then moved out to a small town and took a part time job. Under Texas law, a voluntary reduction in income isn't grounds for reducing the support you owe your child. But I think she saw it more as getting out of the rat race and possibly didn't feel like the money was going to her daughter so much as it was going to me.

Of course now with the extra child support coming in, I'm able to buy lots of gin, cigars, and cheap hookers--so really it's a win-win situation.

[av8rdave]

21. I never paid/collected support

At the time of the divorce, my ex didn't really have a lot of money coming in yet. Even though I was the custodial parent, I didn't see a point in impovershing her. She then went and had a bunch of kids from one of her subsequent marriages (4 kids, I believe), so even when she started making good money, I just didn't see the point.

I've never gotten a lot of help college cost wise from her, despite the promises otherwise. She does pay for books, and while it doesn't compare to the other expenses, it helps.

[AirmensMom]

9. Something similar.

And she cut us off forever. :shrug:

[Dangerously Amused]

11. Whether to have a pet euthanized.

Hard to play God like that. You always want to cling to hope despite the odds.


= sigh =

[AirmensMom]

12. That is a hard one.

:cry: Sesame gave me a look that said, "Please, Mom, I can't take it anymore." Harleydad saw the same look that morning, but didn't mention it until I called and told him what I saw. That made it a little easier.

It's all part of the reponsibility, which includes helping to end their suffering. Sorry you had to go through it. :hug:

[Dangerously Amused]

14. You, too.

[BarenakedLady]

13. I'm still struggling to make it

I've never been good with making decisions even small insignificant ones. So trying to decide something huge has left me pretty much paralyzed.

[NewWaveChick1981]

17. Having to give a DNR order for my father.

:cry: He had an aortic aneurysm almost ten years ago, and he was very close to death. He had been in a coma for three months, and he had had a heart attack and had no real hope of recovery. The doctor called me to ask for the DNR order since I'm the next of kin (my parents are divorced and I'm the oldest child). I called my brother and sister on a three-way call, and we all agreed that we didn't want to put Dad through anything that would cause him to suffer or hang on unnecessarily if there was no hope. We all cried so much on the phone, and when we hung up, I called the doctor and tearfully gave the DNR order. I was fully expecting to fly to my Dad's funeral within a few days, but the next day, the doctor called me back and said he had come out of his coma that morning and was actually alert and talking a little. :)

Dad recovered after a very long time in a rehab facility, and he's doing just fine now. I realize how lucky he was and how lucky we were. :D As hard as it was, I knew the DNR decision was the right thing to do, and I would do it again for his sake. :hug:

[buddhamama]

19. oh sweets,

:hug: I am happy to hear Dad is doing fine. :bounce: :hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

18. To move to the east coast from Southern California

On one hand it wasn't that tough a choice. Make a life with my soulmate, whom I never thought I'd find, or leave my family.

Family can visit/be visited. But you can't make a life with your beloved from 2,600 miles.

The second hardest choice was to put myself in a mental hospital. I did that too.

I have no regrets in either choice. Although, god damn, do I miss my sisters. :cry:

[FILAM23]

20. Cutting my 34 yo son off without another dime ever

The only way he ever gets another dime of my money is
if I die first and my wife gives it to him. He has abused
our generosity for years, the final straw was a year ago when
he said he had a job in AZ (we live in TX), we gave him a car,
money for gas, food and emergency's, plus enough to set up an apartment.
Three days after arriving in AZ he sold everything but his clothing (there was no job)
and bought a one way ticket to the Philippines (his Mom is from there), to see some girl
he met on the internet. Does not contact us for 10 months, finally calls because
he needed some money. I told him to call once in awhile to let us now he
was OK other then that to stay out of our lives if the only reason he was calling
was for money.

[mikeiddy]

22. having my mom declared incompetent

just a couple of days ago. Like many here, there was no real choice. But still . . .

[greatauntoftriplets]

23. Signing DNR orders for both of my parents...

despite the fact that both wanted it done and the rest of the family agreed. My father died about 14 hours later, and my mother about 3.

:(

[begin_within]

24. Definitely euthanizing a pet. I've done it 3 times and it's still hard.

[belladonna]

25. I'm in the midst of what may be the hardest decision right now

I'm just beginning to think I'm not meant for long-term relationships :shrug:

[skygazer]

26. Giving up my granddaughter for adoption

Which of course was primarily my daughter's decision but I could conceivably have chosen to keep and raise her myself.

It's also the best decision I ever made, thankfully. My granddaughter will soon be 9 years old, is beautiful, happy, well-adjusted and has parents who think the sun rises and sets on her. She has a younger brother, also adopted, is aware of her personal history, receives letters and gifts from me and sends her own back, and has a wonderful life all around.

My daughter was able to be a kid, finish school, learn some valuable lessons, find a nice man and a good job and last year, get married.

Hard decisions are wrenching but provide some valuable life lessons.

[bigwillq]

27. Coming out

but it was the best decision I ever made.