Premise: "Evil" wrestler named "The Professor." Name his signature move!

[markses]

Poll question: Premise: "Evil" wrestler named "The Professor." Name his signature move!

Ok, the premise here is simple. The wrestler is named "The Professor," and he's one of those guys that gets up before the match and taunts the crowd. Given the rabid anti-intellectualism in American culture, he is a perfect bad guy. He might have a prop like a miniature blackboard, which he invariably smashes his opponents with at some point in the match, and may even have one of those "assistants" - the Graduate Student, or (if it is a young woman, appropriately), the TA. He might even produce an abstruse mathematical equation on the blackboard and challenge the howling audience to solve it, yelling at them that they are ignoramuses, and using altogether inappropriately sophisticated vocabulary. He's The Professor you love to hate.

So, what do we call his signature move? By signature move, I mean those final moves that the wrestlers have, like the old Iron Sheik's "Camel Clutch," etc. I haven't really paid attention to wrestling in, oh, damn near 20 years, so I can't site anything more recent, but you get the idea. It has a name related to the wrestler's identity. Here are a few, but feel free to invent others.

[SpiralHawk]

1. Doh? Is he the guy who does the "Bushwhack"?

Or is that the guy in the White House?

[Bush loves Jiang]

2. Hmmm...

The WWF once had a wrestler named Dean Douglas. His 2 big moves were the Report Card and the Final Exam. I think the latter was his finisher, but it was nearly half a lifetime ago for this 20-year-old.

BTW, I chose Approaching the Limit. It's a physical enough name for your average wrestling fans, while more well-educated fans will get the pun behind it.

[markses]

6. Huh! I had no idea

Yeah, I guess the Professor would be a bit of a replay of this "Dean Douglas," and i guess I'm not so original after all. (As Homer Simpson would say... "Crusty Ole Dean!"). Of course, it is a genre thing; I remember Leaping Lennie Poffo used to read the stupid little poems off paper plates while excoriating the audience for their illiteracy.

Yeah, Approaching the Limit works well.

I chose "The Postmodern Condition," just cuz I wanna hear a wrestling announcer say "The professor is setting him up for the postmodern condition - he'll never be able to see it in its totality! It's the end of grand narratives for this guy!";-)

[Salviati]

3. Here's my idea:

Professor Heinrich Hurts

Signature move: The Frequency Jam

a repeated piledriver increasing in frequency until culminated in a backbreaker.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

4. Testing the Hypothesis....

He would pick out the shill in the audience, an apparently macho guy, and have the TandA arm wrestle him.
He talks up the guy big time, but at the same time, reminds everyone that she is quite strong with sexual innuendos throughout the spiel.
Of course, he comes close to pinning her, she reaches up with her off and hand undoes her one button holding her shirt closed, and he loses.

something like that

[SpiralHawk]

5. Anybody remember "Killer Kowalski"

and his "cast iron stomach" - that is, until Bruno Sanmartino and Haystack Calhoun laid into him one infamous "Tag-Team" match long, long ago.

I think the black and white wrestling shows used to come on right after "Candlepins for Cash." What a thrilling show that was (not).

[FDRrocks]

7. The Protracter...

Something like a glorified DDT.

[Spirochete]

8. The Gilligan Groinbuster

[markses]

9. LOL

Or, The Coconut Radar...

[nemo137]

10. The Deadline

just your garden variety "smack 'em so hard he can't get up" deal.

[sleipnir]

11. How about "The Pop Quiz"?

I like the sound of it.

OR maybe, "The 8am Lecture!"

Arghhh....

[markses]

12. It looks like he's getting ready for the Pop Quiz!

Ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh, that hurts!