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I was in a creative mood and wrote a very short one-act play.
Scene: White House Oval Office. Seated at the oval office desk is GEORGE W. BUSH, president. He is staring intently at a folder that covers his face.
A buzz. It's the office intercom. Bush (not taking his eyes from folder), punches a button: Yes? Secretary (v/o): Mr. Rove here to see you sir. Bush: Send him in.
Bush's eyes have not yet left the folder he's looking at.
A moment later KARL ROVE, the White House chief political advisor, walks into the office.
Bush (not looking up): Hey Karly.
A noise is heard. It's an electronic beep.
Rove: Sir? Bush: Sit down, sit down, have some coffee. ROVE looks around. The one chair in the office is covered in BURGER KING wrappers, bags, and napkins. Shrugging, ROVE sits down.
The electronic beeping continues. BUSH is still looking intently at the folder.
Rove: George? I need to talk to you.
No answer from Bush.
Rove stands up, walks to the desk, and YANKS the folder away. Bush is staring at a Game Boy Advance.
Rove: Can you put that down for a moment, sir? Bush: Hold on, Karl, hold on. I'm 'bout to get the golden mushroom. Rove: Sir, this is serious. Bush: Just a second. BUSH furiously mashes buttons. The GAME BOY ADVANCE beeps. BUSH jumps up. He runs around his desk and THROWS the GAME BOY ADVANCE to the ground, where it shatters. Bush: I rule! Rove: Why did you destroy it, sir? Bush: Why not? Isn't that what you do with it when you're done? Rove: No, sir, it's meant to be played many times. Bush: Oh. I'll have to remember that next time. BUSH sits back down. Bush: What's on your mind, Karl? Rove: Sir, there's a situation. Bush: A what? Rove: Situation. Bush: Say again? Rove (louder): SITUATION. Bush: I beg your pardon? Rove: Sir, we have a big problem. Bush: What? Rove: The intelligence reports. It looks like that son of a bitch Bin Laden has been planning for Al Qaida to attack us again. Bush: That's not possible. Rove: Why? Bush: We got him. In Iraq. Rove: Sir, that was Saddam Hussein. Bush: Yes.... Rove: The Iraqi leader. Bush: Riiiighhhttt. Uh, I'm not following you. Rove: Osama Bin Laden! Al Qaida! They're planning attacks! Bush: No, we've got 'em, Karl. Caught the bastard in a spider hole. Rove: NO, sir! That is Saddam Hussein! Osama Bin Laden is someone different! Bush: What? Rove: Afghanistan? Remember? Osama Bin Laden! The terrorist! Bush: But Saddam planned the attacks, Karl. Rove: No, sir, he didn't! He had nothing to do with it! Bush: That's not what Condie said. Rove: Sir, you need to get in touch with Tom Ridge at Homeland Security. Bush: Why? Rove: Because Osama Bin Laden is planning new attacks! Bush: He can't be. We caught him. In Iraq. In the spider hole. Rove (sighing): I'll make the arrangements. I'll need to leave now, sir. Bush: Fine, good work, Karl, you let me know if that bastard Saddam Hussein launches any attacks. ROVE exits. Bush opens a drawer at his desk and pulls out another GAME BOY ADVANCE.
Scene ends.
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