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scottcsmith Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 01:18 AM
Original message
Is this offensive?
I was in a creative mood and wrote a very short one-act play.

Scene:
White House Oval Office. Seated at the oval office desk is GEORGE W. BUSH, president. He is staring intently at a folder that covers his face.

A buzz. It's the office intercom.
Bush (not taking his eyes from folder), punches a button: Yes?
Secretary (v/o): Mr. Rove here to see you sir.
Bush: Send him in.

Bush's eyes have not yet left the folder he's looking at.

A moment later KARL ROVE, the White House chief political advisor, walks into the office.

Bush (not looking up): Hey Karly.

A noise is heard. It's an electronic beep.

Rove: Sir?
Bush: Sit down, sit down, have some coffee.
ROVE looks around. The one chair in the office is covered in BURGER KING wrappers, bags, and napkins. Shrugging, ROVE sits down.

The electronic beeping continues. BUSH is still looking intently at the folder.

Rove: George? I need to talk to you.

No answer from Bush.

Rove stands up, walks to the desk, and YANKS the folder away. Bush is staring at a Game Boy Advance.

Rove: Can you put that down for a moment, sir?
Bush: Hold on, Karl, hold on. I'm 'bout to get the golden mushroom.
Rove: Sir, this is serious.
Bush: Just a second. BUSH furiously mashes buttons. The GAME BOY ADVANCE beeps. BUSH jumps up. He runs around his desk and THROWS the GAME BOY ADVANCE to the ground, where it shatters.
Bush: I rule!
Rove: Why did you destroy it, sir?
Bush: Why not? Isn't that what you do with it when you're done?
Rove: No, sir, it's meant to be played many times.
Bush: Oh. I'll have to remember that next time. BUSH sits back down.
Bush: What's on your mind, Karl?
Rove: Sir, there's a situation.
Bush: A what?
Rove: Situation.
Bush: Say again?
Rove (louder): SITUATION.
Bush: I beg your pardon?
Rove: Sir, we have a big problem.
Bush: What?
Rove: The intelligence reports. It looks like that son of a bitch Bin Laden has been planning for Al Qaida to attack us again.
Bush: That's not possible.
Rove: Why?
Bush: We got him. In Iraq.
Rove: Sir, that was Saddam Hussein.
Bush: Yes....
Rove: The Iraqi leader.
Bush: Riiiighhhttt. Uh, I'm not following you.
Rove: Osama Bin Laden! Al Qaida! They're planning attacks!
Bush: No, we've got 'em, Karl. Caught the bastard in a spider hole.
Rove: NO, sir! That is Saddam Hussein! Osama Bin Laden is someone different!
Bush: What?
Rove: Afghanistan? Remember? Osama Bin Laden! The terrorist!
Bush: But Saddam planned the attacks, Karl.
Rove: No, sir, he didn't! He had nothing to do with it!
Bush: That's not what Condie said.
Rove: Sir, you need to get in touch with Tom Ridge at Homeland Security.
Bush: Why?
Rove: Because Osama Bin Laden is planning new attacks!
Bush: He can't be. We caught him. In Iraq. In the spider hole.
Rove (sighing): I'll make the arrangements. I'll need to leave now, sir.
Bush: Fine, good work, Karl, you let me know if that bastard Saddam Hussein launches any attacks.
ROVE exits.
Bush opens a drawer at his desk and pulls out another GAME BOY ADVANCE.

Scene ends.
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mourningdove92 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 01:21 AM
Response to Original message
1. I love it.
please continue to act 2
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The Undertaker Donating Member (152 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 01:24 AM
Response to Original message
2. LMMFAO!
Bravo! Bravo! Now....where's Act II?
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scottcsmith Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 01:41 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. Not sure about act II yet
But is it offensive? At least to a right-winger? I have it posted to my web site and am hoping to generate some fresh hate mail.

Glad you guys liked it. Here's a hint about Act II:
Guest-starring Dan Quayle!
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The Undertaker Donating Member (152 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 01:48 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. Yeah...
the Republican assholes will hate it probably. Act II sounds like it's going to be hilarious!
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WannaJumpMyScooter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 02:27 AM
Response to Reply #3
7. Of course it's offensive... that is why it is funny.
MORE!
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NoPasaran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 09:11 AM
Response to Reply #3
14. Guest starring Dan Quayle?
Are they at a spelling bee?
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AlFrankenFan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 01:49 AM
Response to Original message
5. Genius!
lmfao!
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Limbought Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 07:17 AM
Response to Reply #5
10. Great Photo!
Thanks for sharing.
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HamstersFromHell Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 01:56 AM
Response to Original message
6. I Love it!
Brings back fond memories of Spitting Image and "The Ronnie and Nancy Show"
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proud patriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 02:30 AM
Response to Original message
8. Oh man that's funny
should be a skit on T.V.
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LastKnight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 02:37 AM
Response to Original message
9. you should write for...
snl or some other sketch show, i bet they would play somethin like that. see if they will put you on as a part time writer or somethin lol.

-LK
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Commie Pinko Dirtbag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 07:41 AM
Response to Original message
11. Send it to bushin30seconds.com
You won't compete in the contest, but they welcome script ideas. I'm serious. Do it.
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buddhamama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 07:59 AM
Response to Original message
12. this is funny!
thanks for sharing! :toast:
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Dogmudgeon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 08:09 AM
Response to Original message
13. In the words of Mr. Burns ...
Excellent!

Two criticisms:

1. Condoleeza Rice's nickname is spelled Condi

2. Karl Rove is much more evil than he appears in the script at first glance.

However, a Master Thespian skilled in the Craft of Acting would be able to impart a Svengali-and-Trilby nuance to the piece without so much as an additional drop of sweat being wasted.

Nine stars out of ten. Considerably better than my own effort of a few weeks ago (The Delivery Boy).

Keep at it ... have at 'em!

--bkl
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 09:46 AM
Response to Original message
15. well
Edited on Wed Dec-24-03 09:54 AM by Skittles
the part that says "GEORGE W. BUSH, president" is VERY offensive but other than that, it is quite entertaining. :7
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beyurslf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 10:09 AM
Response to Original message
16. Love it! n/t
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mac56 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 10:11 AM
Response to Original message
17. Laughed out loud! Co-workers stared!
thanks
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-24-03 10:14 AM
Response to Original message
18. W"I don't need to hear criticism" Doesn't read any papers
from the ABC interview W said that he has people who tell him all he needs to know and without any editorializing......uh huh.

Very good. Game Boy or bubble wrap it all works.
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