Talk Like A Daddy Thread (Turn That Hi-Fi Down! Get A HAIRCUT!)

[arwalden]

Close the door... we ain't air conditioning the OUTSIDE!

-- Allen

[Wickerman]

1. Hey you damn kids, Get OFF MY LAWN!

and don't you make me stop this car!

[HEyHEY]

2. Because I said so!

The last car I bought I was talking about it to my Dad and he said..."It's got a really good Hi-fi in it"

hahaha

[kixot]

3. Be quiet!

Stop crying. Don't touch that. Wash your hands. Dry your hands. Tuck your shirt in. Stand up straight. Don't be late. Drive slower. Are those ears painted on?

[Booberdawg]

4. Where do you think you're going dressed like that?

[Palacsinta]

5. Clean your plate!

They're starving in Armenia!

[HamstersFromHell]

6. "Don't you get any bright ideas!"

So to this day, I haven't.

[Santaclaus]

7. Oddly enough when Daddy Claus said that

It was usually when I hatch an idea that was 100 per cent not bright.

[HamstersFromHell]

9. The "not quite right" bit I still remember...

Was a comedy bit by Ollie Jo Prater (who probably stole it from some other comedian) about growing up...he decided with one of his friends to play Superman or whatever hero by climbing on the roof of the garage and jumping off using umbrellas as parachutes...

Dad came out and saw what they were preparing to do and yelled: "Get down off that garage right this minute! If you fall off there and break both your legs, don't come running to me!" I passed Long Island Tea from my nose about then.

[Spider Jerusalem]

8. I'll give you something to cry about!

Look at me when I'm talking to you.

I said NO! Do you think I'm made of money?

[Palacsinta]

10. Wipe that smile off your face!

Hey......did we all have the same daddy? (shudder!)

[shanti]

27. "stop that

or i'll give you something to REALLY cry about"

damn, there ARE this many du'ers with daddy conflicts/dysfunctional families?

hmmmmm

[Lars39]

11. ".....and I don't want to hear any backtalk, either !"

also, "Close that door! Were you raised in a barn?!?!?"

[jonnyblitz]

12. Hi-Fi? LOL

what is a hi fi? :P

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

13. I suppose if your little friend jumped off a cliff

you would too?

[jjmalonejr]

14. I'm not your Daddy.

[HamstersFromHell]

15. Hey now, let's not forget mom and her best lines...

"Make sure you have clean underwear on in case you're in an accident."

[Philostopher]

16. I don't know how you can listen to that rock and roll crap.

It's all yelling, and it's just the same thing repeated, over and over.

[HamstersFromHell]

17. "I just don't know...

...what these kids hear in that 'music'" (Usually said to mom while you're present.)

[BigDaddyLove]

18. "No, I wasn't hurting Mommy..........................

I was, er, we were......it's hard to explain Sweetheart".

[Booberdawg]

19. You'll put your eye out

[Booberdawg]

20. You have another think coming

[guitar man]

21. Get a job!

"You're fixin to wind up with my foot in your ass!"

"You're sister can hit a ball better than that!"



The worst thing that could happen was when he would find a new scratch or ding on the car. Everyone who drove it would be summoned for "the inquisition". Naturally everyones' answer,including my Mom was "I didn't do it." Well SOMEBODY !@#$ DID IT! His face would turn 3 shades of red and 4 shades of purple and all kinds of veins would pop out on his head and neck. It was great fun to watch,until I started driving too :(

[HamstersFromHell]

22. Stop hitting your sister/brother!"

n/t

[Gman]

23. And, from the back seat...

Sister: Stop touching me brother: I'm not touching you

yes he is

no I'm not

yes he is

no I'm not

SHUT UP!!!

[HamstersFromHell]

24. Always wondered....

...if dad really did have eyes in the back of his head...how else could he keep driving while looking in the back seat at me and my little brother.

[peekaloo]

25. How much!?! Do you think money grows on trees????

[cade]

26. hurt didn't it ?

wanna try again ?
and the famous incident when I was about 14 walking down by the river with my 18 yr old girlfriend who was kind of chubby.
My old man was fishing and drinking with another dude - I didn't see my old man there - and the other dude said ,

"What a cow. "

I said
"You want your ass kicked moron ? "

My old man hears his fishing buddy argueing with me, takes a closer look and says.
" Wait a minute, that's my boy with that cow. "
Needless to say he didn't know I had a girlfriend and was a bit surprised not only to discover that but that she was an adult as well. I never figured it was any of my parents business who I was seeing or what I was doing, so later my mother was surprised by the girlfriend idea as well.
My old man was really surprised I was walking down the street with her ( she wasn't cute ). I figured it really doesn't matter to me about looks, still that way.

[Ellen Forradalom]

28. Can't you guys play in anything but the key of E?

--my father bellowing down the basement steps to my brother and his friends jamming.