Giving The Gift Of Bush

[Plaid Adder]

So, one of the presents under the tree for me this year was the 12" George W. Bush talking doll.

My father, the fiscal republican, gave this to me, presumably because he thought it would be funny. (My parents don't know about the column, but they know enough to know I am no friend of Bush.) I kind of thought it might be, but instead I merely found it disturbing. The problem is, this talking doll is *just like the real Bush.*

HOw? Let me count the ways:

1. If you push his button, he spouts a nonsensical soundbite that has nothing to do with the situation.

2. He doesn't seem to be able to balance very well.

3. He has a vague presidential "bulge," but there's nothing but air between his ears.

4. His knees don't bend, but his hips are jointed. So he's not very flexible, but he does a good goosestep.

5. He doesn't move or speak unless someone else is manipulating him.

Anyway, I could go on, but the main thing is I just found the whole thing creepy. I tried hogtying him to see if that would be fun, but really it wasn't. There's something about the whole anatomically correct doll thing that just seems kinky to me, and I don't want that part of my brain hooking up with the part that normally deals with Bush.

Anyway, I got home from my parents' and went back to the inlaws, where I presented my partners' parents with one of their gifts: the official George W. Bush Pants On Fire doll!

As soon as I saw this featured right here on DU, I went, "Oh my God...I'LL TAKE A DOZEN!" In the end, I only got one. I think the URL for them is www.pantsonfire.org. It's a cloth doll dressed in a cowboy suit with flames coming out of the pants in front and back. The head is printed with a really unflattering picture of Bush at his chimpiest.

It was a huge hit with the in-laws, who are as disturbed by Bush as I am but are unable to defend themselves with the same kind of cynical irony I am normally able to muster. They laughed and laughed at it. They discussed the question of where to hang him for a long time, and finally ended up putting him in the kitchen with the TV where they watch the news. What they like about him, apart from the pants being on fire, is that it looks so goofy and dorky. The shape of the head kind of reminds one of that Edvard Munch "Scream" guy.

Anyway, if anyone wants a 12" talking Bush figurine, I got one you can have for cheap. But if you have belated Christmas shopping to do for a Democrat in your life, I heartily recommend Pants On Fire Bush.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[AlFrankenFan]

1. lol!!!!!!!

I was expecting an Ann Coulter from my conservative father, but he didn't send me one, thank god. He probably didn't want to waste 30 bucks on me.

[TreasonousBastard]

2. Try this url...

http://store.pantsonfire.net/

[Lisa]

3. I gave Bush for Christmas, too! Twice!

But instead of the aviator doll with all the attachments, I got this in town.

http://www.castartstudios.com/Products/bush.htm

(It cost more than the plastic model, but this way I got to support a local artisan.)


Anyway, I crated up the two gargoyles and sent them to people I know in the States, who run anti-Bush websites out of Virginia and Texas respectively. USPS did its thing, and I got ECSTATIC e-mail from the recipients, the day before Christmas. They were totally stunned -- maybe it fell on them? (it weighs almost 30 lbs.) Anyway, the "statue of limitations" was a big hit, and the Texans said that they had to move it indoors after the pro-Bush neighbours expressed the desire to abduct or vandalize it.

I kept one figure (nothing like giving yourself Bush, is there!) and am planning on dressing it up in undignified ways for major holidays in the upcoming year -- since the real guy loves costumes, doesn't he. It has a little Santa hat on right now, and I'm going to make a little Cupid outfit for Valentine's Day, and leprechaun clothes for March 17th, and little Easter Bunny ears after that ....


PA, I hope you will have even more fun with your "goyle" next year than I will with mine!

p.s. one more item for your list ... the Bush doll can't seem to support himself very well, physically or otherwise ... just as the real W needed his folks to bail him out of his business ventures.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

4. Damn and I thought this was gonna be a post on the virtues of

lesbianism :evilgrin:

[Richardo]

5. Bwahahahahahahahaha!

you bad, nsma! ;-)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

6. Well if I ever convert, I know what I want to Deck the Halls with

under my tree....that would bring great Joy to the World if it Came Upon a Midnight Clear! :evilgrin: