Thats it , I am never falling in love again :hurls :

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

You have heard it first : I CarolinaPeridot do solemnly swear that I will never fall in love again . Why do I always fall for the wrong guys , the ones who have issues and are psychos ? Heaven help me ...

Why does love hurt ? :hurls:

[JackDragna]

1. You've made the right choice.

Love is indeed a four letter word. Join the ranks of the angry and bitter! *clinks glasses*

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

2. I am angry , bitter

and just tired of being lied to ...

[WindRavenX]

3. Love is like a punishment

Sometimes I think Cupid is just taking a piss...
Fear not, don't give up on men!
Men can be morons and not worth the time..but if you find a good one..

[radfringe]

4. sorry to hear you have given up

and this is probably not the time for me to say this... but...

if you are falling for the same "type" of person time and time again, you need to look at yourself and figure out what it is that attracts you to that kind of person...

for me it was the "lost puppy syndrome" - I couldn't turn down a lost puppy, I needed to help the lost puppies of the world because helping them made ME feel better in the short run

a secondary 'attraction' were people who were very affectionate in the begininng, but as the relationship went on their walls went up and I would be left outside pounding on the doors to be let in

once I realized this pattern, I steered clear of becoming romantically involved with the lost puppies, and the minute walls went up I'd pound once on the door and if I wasn't let in then I left

helping a lost puppy is one thing, but when they turn into parasites they tend to suck you dry

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

6. That is exactly what I did ...

Always attracted to the lost puppy . His issues became my issues .

[radfringe]

7. I came to realize

you can only help a lost puppy so far - then it's time for the puppy to start helping themselves. I'll help a lost puppy as long as I can see that they are also helping themselves

in AA they call it "enabling", in other areas it's called the "wendy syndrome" (i.e. Wendy taking on the role of being the mother to Peter Pan), in the extreme it's an emotional vampire

not specific to lost puppies, but we all have lessons to learn and until we learn them we have to keep repeating them

you need to be able to recognize that your desire to help the puppies does not mean you have to fall in love with them, or even to allow them into your life

make the changes and when it's the time that someone special will be appear

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

9. Actually dealing with this guy

has lead me to addiction to pain killers and alcohol . My life is ruined ... I feel so bad . I have no one else that will save me so I am done with saving other people . He took money from me , lied , and then beat me . Before I met this guy I was on my way to a life of good things and I have to start all over again . I think being alone will do me a lot of good .

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

12. I asked a friend once...

While she was complaining about the usual sad state of her love life, why she kept going back to the same type of guy, when it was clear that said type of guy was simply a "dry hole". She said that bad boys were dangerous and dangerous was exciting.

Bad Boys never worked out either.

Take some time off from The Love Wars. Get to REALLY know who YOU are and what you might like about yourself. Also, please get off the booze and pills. Ain't no future there.

Remember: There are a lot of us nice guys out here. Trouble is, we ain't dangerous, hence, we ain't exciting enough for a Thouroughly Modern Woman of The New Milleneum.

One more thing: During my drinking days, I used to hang in a bar that had a loud, squawky screen door that you could hear all over the bar. People, men and women, would sit at that bar. Many would not interact. Everytime that screen door made a sound, everyone would turn and look at that door. Why? I suspect it was because they felt that the next one through that door would be "The One". There is a little lesson in this vignette.

[latebloomer]

5. Gotta take a look at your patterns

and figure out exactly why you are always attracted to the wrong men.

Therapy helped me break out of the "bad boy" syndrome and accept a loving, emotionally available man into my life.

[Dover]

8. What do you get when you fall in love?

A guy with a pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia.
After you do, he'll never phone you.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

Don't tell me what is all about,
'Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out,
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you fall in love?
You get enough tears to fill an ocean
That's what you get for your devotion.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow.
So, for at least until tomorrow,
I'll never fall in love again!
I'll never fall in love again!

(Part of Bacharach/David Medley)
Don't tell me what it's all about
`Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you. (here to mind you) 3x
What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So, for at least, until tomorrow
I'll never fall in love again
Oh, I'll never fall in love again

[xchrom]

10. first deal with any

substance abuse issues -- then check and see if your romantic connections aren't co-dependency issues and related to your substance abuse stuff.
your substance abuse issues were probably lying just below the surface waiting for a trigger. and maybe this romance was the trigger.
it might be you never liked him that much but needed an excuse to get loaded.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

11. Thats what I plan on doing as soon as I get home ...

I was sitting beside the bottle today and I immediately threw the bottle away and decided to check into an AA meeting as soon I am back in the States . I never thought my life would head down this road ...

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

13. I never thought...

I would do a breast stroke across a small sea of beer, Rumpleminze and vodka, either. But I did. Shit happens. I stopped. You can too.

Bit of advice: Make getting off the shit Just Important Enough. Not obsessive, where it becomes the only thing you think about. You still have a lot of living to do while you get sober. Sobriety requires balance. You ain't gonna truly succeed at anything without balance.

[xchrom]

15. good -- you have a plan

you are more than half the way there.
the best is yet to come!

[radfringe]

17. don't know where you are now

but AA is in many countries - get out a phone book, make a call and find out when the next meeting is today - then GO TO IT

on edit: http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/default/en_services.cfm

[retread]

14. This may sound trite, but work on you and your life first! Get

clean. Heaven won't help you, but you can. Look to advancing your education. There is a critical election on the horizon. Find a candidate you can support and start volunteering. There are an immense number of groups and causes that desperately need help, find one that works for you and commit yourself to it! First thing you should do before anything else is get clean!!

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

18. I am doing some of what you said ...

I am going back to college :) I major in Political Science actually . I am so happy about volunteering for the Democratic Party in my town . I am getting clean as soon as possible . You know I am 23 , I never thought this could to me and it did . I was ashame of it but something tells me I should get help and help others - people my age especially .

The only alcohol I drink is schnapps or wine - the painkillers are the big problem . Once I come down off them , I get really depressed and start thinking things like " my family does not love me " and etc . And mixing those together is dangerous .

[Robb]

19. You're on the right track

Now stay on it! :) And come here anytime you need us! :grouphug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

20. Thanks this is why I love the DU :)

I felt embarrased about admitting it . I finally told my mom last night - I thought she would be mad but she is happy I am okay :)
Thanks again .

[rasputin1952]

16. If finding love was easy...

it would SUCK!

I have found that EVERYONE is a liar, not just men or women, EVERYONE!

Once I learned that, life became easier. First thing I did was quit lying to myself, life got better!

Some people are leeches, it pays to be able to see them. I look at the world in a cynical way: Probably an asshole, maybe not; time will tell.

BTW: You'll find the right guy, or actually, he'll find you!

O8)

[trof]

21. deleted

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

22. Hpmf I wanted to know what this post said lol .

[trof]

23. dupe of Dover's #8.

Started to post it 30 minutes ago and got called away.
Just trying to lighten up and cheer up a little.
;-)

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

24. I did . I am better now . Much better.