I hate my boss! Anal retentive control freak. Please tell me what to do.

[Darwin2002]

I have 2 master's degrees, am working on my ph d dissertation and have 20 years experience. I can't go to the bathroom without this person asking where I am going. She is an anal retentive freak who has to control every aspect of my job and everyone else's. I talked to her last year about this but it did no good and there are NO other jobs available here (Thanks Jeb for drying up the jobs, you sob). Somebody please tell me what to do before I totally tell her what I think and get fired and end up with no job at all.

[celestia671]

1. I've had bosses like that before...

and living in an area myself where jobs are hard to come by, I stuck it out until I could find something better. Have you thought about relocating? I don't know your situation, but if you don't have a family(spouse, kids), it would be easier to move to a city where there are more opportunities.

[childslibrarian]

2. Wait, Lurk, Plan

And find another job--when you want to go...

[sexycool]

3. Pray for her

[Bertha Venation]

8. satire?

:wtf:

[brainshrub]

4. Be born rich

then you wouldn't need to get a job.

[TreasonousBastard]

5. Suck it up.

If you can't find another job and can't afford to lose this one, you have little choice for now.

A lot of us have been there. It sucks, but no one guaranteed life would be fair.

For the longer run-- aside from the usual advice about looking for another job or starting your own business (neither of which is necessarily a good idea when pissed) how's office politics working? You might start planning how to get her job.

This is not for the fearless or naive, as it could seriously backfire if you don't know what you're doing, and means not dirty tricks, but sucking up to everyone, including her.

Any transfers possible?

[Darwin2002]

10. I SHOULD have her job and I might just try that

I have more education and more experience and everyone likes me.
They have the golden handcuffs on me, too. Because I have a (nonteaching )faculty position, they are paying my tuition (an extra $600- $1200 per semester).
This is really eating at me, though. I can suck up to everyone but her; things have deteriorated for me too much for that.
It is a basic personality clash.
Here is an example of her thought process. She went to the polls in 2000 and didn't vote for president although she is a registered democrat.Then I heard her say a few weeks ago, "Looks like another election where I don't vote for president." How do you deal with that sort of logic? She hates the war.

[Ilsa]

6. Hang on a while longer.

Maybe eventually she'll end up working for you.

[Obamarama]

7. Grow up and deal with it......

And no, I'm not trying to start a flame fest or, or be rude and obnoxious. You've got two masters and are working on your Ph.D. I'm certain you have the reason and insight to see yourself through this.

Truth of the matter is, you've got a job. Despite what King-O-The-Chimps, his flea-bitten sidekick of a brother, and their truth-defying spin machine would have us believe, there just aren't any jobs out there. Being picky is not an alternative in this situation. Grin and bear it is the mantra for many in this booming economy of ours.

You've already spoken to her about it and it hasn't changed. Nor would I expect it to change if you speak to her about it again.

Do your work, accept that she's the boss, and accept that there's not a whole lot you can do about it NOW. Take the negative energy you are investing in her and instead put it to some positive use, like pouring it into your doctoral work.

One thing that helped me immensely when I was in a similar situation was that I joined a martial-arts class and took up kick-boxing (with a punching bag, not another human!). I used to visualize my boss as the punching bag. I even named it Robert. Not only did I get out my frustrations, I was in really great shape by the time a job opening came up at our competition.!

Seriously, my comments aren't meant to offend. Just consider it a little "tough love" from a fellow Democrat.

Good luck!

[Darwin2002]

12. Thanks for the tough love. It is not easy though and affects every

aspect of my life including my self esteem; she has almost destroyed my self confidence. But you are right I have to suck it up a while longer.

[Obamarama]

14. Another idea....

Does your company have an EAP (Employee Assistance Program)? It's a program where you can seek guidance from a mental health professional (at a minimum an MSW, andin many cases a fully licensed psychologist) on any issue that is affecting your life. It's usually free and is anonymous. If you're not sure if your company offers it, call your HR dept. anonymously and ask(or have a friend do it).

Sometimes it just helps to have a professional help you process some of the negativity, especially if it seems to be affecting your performance at work. And I know how difficult doctoral work is, and if it's as bad as you are leading us to belive it is, it is likely making you less effective when researching and writing your dissertation.

If you don't have an EAP, consider a psychologist on your own then. I think too many people balk at the idea of seeing a psychologist. Contrary to popular belief, you don't need to be going around the bend to benefit from (or need) a good round of therapy. And no, I'm not a shrink shmalessly plugging for my own profession! :-)

I think you realize that for now, you're stuck. The key is finding a positive, constructive way to channel that negative energy into something positive, or at the very least neutralize it.

Again, good luck!

[Bertha Venation]

9. no wise advice, just hang on

and document, document, document. One day you may need proof.

My boss is like this. I'm sorry this is your life, too.

[rfranklin]

11. Maybe she'll commit "suicide"

It works for the BFEE!

[baggypants]

13. Tell her that you used to work for the Postal system........

and you really do believe in the Second Amendment

[Loco_moco]

15. I had a boss like that...

..a total a**hole who used and abused our whole crew and whose only concern was climbing that corporate ladder... on the advice of an older and wiser co-worker, our crew worked extra hard and exceeded all of our expectations... and within six months, the glory grabbing boss was promoted to district manager and moved out of our office and our state for his dream job at corporate.... (good riddance!!!) ...the kicker - within a year HE was demoted, unable to keep his corporate masters happy. justice!

[silverlib]

16. Some advise once given to me...

and I'll pass it along for what it's worth. This was given to me by a personnel director when I was having a similar problem. Whatever route you take, remember never to lose your credibility. As he said to me, "until you get this worked out in your head and work out a credible approach (such as some of the ideas listed above), do not tell her you think she wears her underwear backwards."

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

17. Breathe

Make sure your breath is even when she stresses you out. If you do this, you won't blow your top, because your breath must change if you get really angry. Try it for yourself. Next time you get ticked off, check your breathing.

My boss has an associate's degree, is twelve years younger than me, and chews/spits. Like you, I'm sort of stuck in this job, which is not in my area of expertise (post graduate degrees in education mean nothing in Arkansas, where they only hire kinfolk of the school board to be teachers). But it is enough to pay the bills. So when my boss does stupid things, I just remind myself that he could have been in my third grade class back in the 70s. And I know he can't cheat me out of my salary because I'm the bookkeeper and I write the paychecks.

[Nlighten1]

18. Document everything!

I have a boss similar to yours and so far I have documented numerous occasions where she has broken federal employment law. I can't stress this enough. Keep a daily diary of your interaction with her and just generally what you do at work. If you ever really plan on suing you will thank yourself for the attention to this documentation.