Post Background:
I found this under a thread titled: "Why Can't Oprah Be More Like Andre Agassi?" on another discussion board. This particular discussion board caters primarily to men, and more specifically black men who appreciate the :ahem: art form of the female body. And/or porn.
Anyway, it seems Oprah recently started a school for girls in S. Africa, with great fanfare and apparently a verbal gaffe to the effect that "inner city african-americans would be ungrateful or unappreciative" (I'm only taking this from the context of the comments in the thread that I reference above). Meanwhile, Andre Agassi started, a few years back, and with little apparent fanfare, a k-12 "college prep" school for inner city children.
I find both of their actions commendable and worthy of further research, but that's not why I'm posting the below. I'm posting the following because it is one of the frickin' funniest things I've come across in a long time. Enjoy:
Why Can't Andre Agassi be Like Jesus Christ!?
OR
Agassi built a school an all but that dude could stand to be more like Jesus for real. No miracles, no new age testimony, no disciples, nothin. Muhfucka can barely use a hammer and saw himself (you know he contracted OUT to build the school), he surely ain't no fuckin Jesus-level carpenter. Jesus faced the Devil by himself and came out of that shit unscathed. This fool Agassi just lost to to Benjamin Becker, ranked 112th in the world!!!!!! And he cried afterwards!!! Gimme a fuckin break. And thats how he ended his career!! No trial!!! No tribulation!! No cross!!!! Oh my fuckin god!! What a pussy...building a school aint shit. How hard is that to negotiate? All it takes is money and some phone calls. Jesus renegotiated the eternal fate of all humanity!!!! Till this nigga dies for the sins of man, he can eat a dick for real.
And fuck Oprah for that matter, she's responsible for shit load of charitable donations through that god-forsaken "Angel" network she started, and built homes in that den of sin New Orleans, and dropped forty million on a school to educate a bunch of heathen south african girls (with generations to come). But the bitch ain't got shit on Mary...she don't have ANY kids at all! If she wanna do some good in the world, she should fuck our Mighty Lord and birth Jesus 2.0: The Second Coming. Anything short of that and Oprah can eat a shit-sandwich for real.
And fuck anybody who got a problem with it. Yall just a bunch of brainwashed morons who worship celebrities that don't give a fuck about you. Its all about the image, Agassi wanna sell cameras, Oprah wanna sell herself. The motives of people who do good in the world should always be questioned, especially by those who have done nothing comparable. Just like Jesus said: Always, my sons, look a gift horse in the mouth. (Book of Idiots; Ch: 1, Verse: Bgol)