Is it possible to be with someone if you don't share their morals?

[HEyHEY]

Toward what is considered sleazy behaviour? Not cheating or anything like that... but one night stands and that sort of thing.
I think it is, but I'm arguing with a friend who thinks otherwise. I think just because someone has different personal morals than your it doesn't make them a bad person or something like that. Am I right?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

1. morality doesnt only exist within the realms of sexuality.

[HEyHEY]

2. true, but I meant sexually

I couldn't be with a thief or something like that.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

3. well if you cant respect your partners sexuality....

then you shouldnt date them.

on edit: if you think your stance is more moral by default you think theirs is less. its not respectful, and you shouldnt date them.

on the other hand, if you think its different but not less or more equal. that is a different situation

[HEyHEY]

4. True dat

That's what I think. He thinks there's some kind of cosmic alignment of sexual morals

[La Lioness Priyanka]

5. read the edit. in different ways you could both be right

[HEyHEY]

6. See, i think

If you're together and no one is cheating. What's the difference? If it bugs you, you need to losen up.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. yes you are in the separate but equal category

he probably thinks of sexuality mores in a more hierarchal fashion

[HEyHEY]

8. Ah, a puritan... at age 28 - good luck finding a virgin, buddy

[Deja Q]

23. Or the type of person who WOULD be a virgin at age 28... or 40... or 34...

:rofl:

[jpgray]

9. Sure.

[cwydro]

10. It certainly doesn't make them a bad person at all.

but it might be difficult...because of mutual respect, or lack thereof.

[liontamer]

11. depends how far apart the morals are and where the actions lie

let's say you think one night stands in the past are okay, but your partner does not. If s/he thinks only bad people have one night stands, any you have had makes you a bad person. Now if you've never had one, the difference in viewpoint doesn't matter, it's just an interesting topic for debate.

[jobycom]

12. Well, do you plan to be with them more than once?

:shrug:

[HEyHEY]

13. It ain't me, it's him

Dude wants to get rid of a nice girl because she once had sex with two guys at once. And doesn't feel bad about it. It was YEARS ago and this guy is being stupid.
A lot like the plot to Chasing Amy, I know. But he's 28 and she's 30... this happened when she was 21.

[Ariana Celeste]

15. oh wow

Poor girl.

[HEyHEY]

16. I say, poor him

If he can't pull his head out of his ass enough to not get all uppity about it then he doesn't deserve her.

[Ariana Celeste]

17. Well what I mean is,

I'm sorry for her that he would be considering leaving her when she's done nothing wrong. :(

[jobycom]

18. Wow. He's an ass. She should dump him, and be thankful she found out early. nt

[HEyHEY]

20. I agree... he's a dipshit

[crispini]

21. OMG. What, does he think it's 1950?

I mean really. Who the hell cares? Tell him to get over himself.

[S n o w b a l l]

24. What a prude....

I hope he leaves her for her sake.

[datasuspect]

28. is THAT all?

she's damn near a puritan compared to a lot of what's out there.

[madrchsod]

14. ya you are right

i`ve know some people who were like that and they were "normal"...

[flvegan]

19. Define "be with"

[u4ic]

22. I don't think it's a matter of being

right or wrong. It's what each individual is comfortable with.

If he's not comfortable with it, it's his reality. If you are, it's yours.

[hunter]

25. Dwelling on these sorts of "morals" does not bode well for a relationship.

There are moral concerns surrounding sexuality -- Hmmm, I see you are registered sex offender for molesting your 12 year old stepdaughter -- but it has always seemed to me that most concerns are entirely practical.

Do you have an STD? Do you tend to be monogamous? I see you've mostly dated women so why are you dating me, a guy? (I blew it on that last question once upon a time. She was dating me because she needed a boyfriend to show off to her family, but she wanted women.)

I've never figured out guys who obsess about their date's or their wive's sexual histories. I had an asshole housemate once who went on and on about who was a slut and who wasn't, and about the purity of a woman in marriage, but he really only dated women he considered sluts until he met his wife in a church group.

The dickhead got married in a big church wedding to a woman he knew "deserved" the white dress, but before the wedding he gave me an envelope of nude pictures he'd taken of an old girlfriend and asked me to give them back to her. Dickhead couldn't do it himself and he acted like giving them up was some kind of dirty chore he had to do but regretted.

:wtf:

I gave the pictures to his old girlfriend, and she laughed and said something like "GAWD, I was so hot!"

The irony is that she had a very colorful sexual history before her marriage, but her marriage is still going strong while Dickhead's marriage disintegrated a long time ago.

[JVS]

26. It depends on whether it is theoretical or practical

For example if your friend thinks that mooning people is sleazy but you think it's ok, it really doesn't matter unless you are actively mooning people.

[philosophie_en_rose]

27. Maybe.

If you really hate everyone with a particular quality, then a relationship with a person with that quality/ behavior seems precarious - even if you claim to make an exception.

An extreme example: I knew a guy that was extremely sexually repressed. He claimed to be a "born again virgin." :eyes: And would never go out with a girl that wasn't also a virgin (born again or not). Eventually, he married a single mother, but eventually divorced her. Apparently, she didn't repent not saving herself for him. :eyes: Otherwise, they had the exact same religious beliefs, etc.


But I think it depends on how much you really love and respect each other. No one agrees on everything. However, I would be highly suspicious of any guy that thought I something I truly cared about was immoral.

On edit: I also think it's important for partners to agree about the boundaries in their relationship. I don't particularly have a moral problem with one night stands, etc. However, I would instantly dump someone that cheated on me with a one night stand.

If partners want conflicting things, perhaps it was just not meant to be.

[Zuiderelle]

29. There are some things that do (and should) matter, morality-wise.

This isn't one of them. Your friend sounds like a jerk.