Diamond Worker Caught With 126 Stolen Diamonds In His Ass

[matcom]

<snip>

KINSHASA (AFP) - A pilfering worker in a Congolese diamond mine was caught in the act when he walked past a security scanner with 126 of the sparkling gems stashed up his rear end, a mine spokesman has said.

The would-be thief, a cleaner, "hid the small stones" -- valued at 5,000 dollars (3,900 euros) -- "in his anus," explained Mike Mutombo of the Miba mining company in the Democratic Republic of Congo on Thursday.

"An investigation has been opened and the heads of the relevant services have been suspended," he said, adding that it was "practically impossible" for the heist to have been organized without the connivance of others in the selection center where the cleaner worked.

No information was released as to how the diamonds were recovered, or whether the man was arrested.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070111/od_afp/drcongominingdiamonds_070111164959

[Phillycat]

1. Um, ow.

No information was released as to how the diamonds were recovered

I bet it was unpleasant, whatever it was.

[jakefrep]

13. Whatever it was, the new guy got stuck with doing it. nt

:scared: :puke:

[BOSSHOG]

2. I thought the family jewels were located elsewhere

[UrbScotty]

34. ROFL

:rofl:

[underpants]

3. Thems is sharp

:wow:

[matcom]

4. you know this how?

:rofl:

[underpants]

8. they cut ass

or something like that I heard it once

[NewWaveChick1981]

5. If he's a cleaner, then he should KNOW you don't clean diamonds that way.

:rofl: :yoiks:

[SPKrazy]

6. The Scanner Saw Them?

what an asshole

I mean to get 126 diamonds in his ass is quite an accomplishment,

I bet he practiced it over and over

:rofl:

[graywarrior]

10. What an asshole is right.

[SPKrazy]

11. An Impressive One

or at least a diamond filled one!

:rofl:

[kmla]

7. They found out when he sat down on the floor and scooted his ass across it -

you know, like a German Shepard does when his ass itches - he etched the numbers to his high school locker combination into the concrete floor.

Or so I heard...

[kmla]

9. Or, better yet, it was 126 lumps of coal that he smuggled out in his ass.

But since he is so uptight....

This one is funny only to those who payed attention in chemistry class.











I'll quit now.

:hide:

[meegbear]

12. 126?!!1!!

Hell, I know some guys who could've smuggled out the entire mine in a one run.

[matcom]

14. .....

:spray:

[Little Wing]

20. Here's the link you're looking for

http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=/watch%3Fsearch%3D%26mode%3Drelated%26v%3DVN7ZbkAG99U

[meegbear]

21. BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHA!

:rofl:

[matcom]

22. wholly GAWD that is funny!

:rofl:

[Mrs.Matcom]

30. Juice??? EWWWWWW!!! n/t

[Blue-Jay]

27. !

[crispini]

15. Okay, HOW DID THEY KNOW?

I mean, ye cats!

[Little Wing]

17. A Scanner Darkly?

[crispini]

19. Ewwwwwwwwwww.... nt

[XNASA]

16. "You reached for the secret too soon,......

......you cried for your moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond."

[texas1928]

18. Maybe he is just such a tight ass, that it formed diamonds.

Maybe he is not a thief.

[petronius]

23. What kind of scanner can detect a rock in one's bunghole?

:shrug:

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

24. Finders keepers!

Just guard your cornhole better next time. :yoiks:

[Orrex]

25. "I swear that they were coal when I stuck them up there."

"Jeez," said the suspect. "I really need to relax."

[BreweryYardRat]

26. Dude's probably been killed and dumped somewhere now.

And how does a scanner pick up diamonds?

[Kat45]

28. I don't think I'd want any jewelry made from THOSE diamonds!

:rofl: Could just imagine some of them ending up on some young lady's engagement ring! :rofl:

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

29. "Blood" diamonds don't seem so bad, compared to these

"Shit" diamonds.

[LostInAnomie]

31. He must of got ass-punched by Snoop Dog.

Snoop's probably missing a ring.

[davsand]

32. Would that be a whole BUNCH of carrots or just a Karat?

Does that sound right to you?


:shrug:


Laura

[Generic Brad]

33. What a hard ass!

[Pretty Go Pale]

35. Guess that's one way . . .

. . . to have a $5,000 piece of ass.

[pinniped]

36. If the diamonds made it to his small intestine he could've held....

many more than that.