You know you're from South Florida if...

[LuCifer]

...you've found a bail of weed or coke on the beach at 6 AM!

...you encounter another native Floridian and say "You mean I'm NOT ALONE?"!

...you've been stuck in a 10 mile backup on I-95 just because someone was CHANGING A TIRE WAY OFF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!

...you've been stuck in a 10 mile backup on I-95 just because there's an accident ON THE OTHER SIDE!!!

...you are a proud owner of a Jeb Bush voodoo doll!

...you know who Carl Hiaasen and hate how they butched "Strip Tease" when they made it into a movie!

...you've been on, or know someone who's been on Ch. 7!

...you, or someone you know, has been on COPS and/or America's Most Wanted, or at the very least you can identify the area it was filmed!

...you go to other places and think "wow, people here actually STOP for the red lights and stop signs!"

...you grew up listening to Neil Rogers and/or Randi Rhodes!

...you hear gun shots at 10 PM, Midnight and/or 3 AM and think nothing of it!

...you wish tourist season was really an actual hunting season!

...you can't drive for more than 2 miles without passing at least 5 different retirement developments and/or gated communities!

I think that covers it!

Lu Cifer

[camero]

1. Jeb voodoo doll!

Why didn't I think of that...lol :)

[LuCifer]

2. I should start makin' 'em!

I could probably sell the shit outta 'em!!!

[camero]

4. Here's another one

crack outsells MJ.

[Randi_Listener]

3. Trumped!

...you, or someone you know, has been on COPS and/or America's Most Wanted, or at the very least you can identify the area it was filmed!


http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=605559

[LuCifer]

5. Heh!

Ah, the joys of living in South Florida! Without fail, they never go more than a 2 weeks without at least part of COPS being filmed in either Palm Beach, Broward or Miami! Or Tampa too! (Can't leave Tampa out!)

Lu Cifer

[Randi_Listener]

6. 50% filmed in the hood and 50% filmed in the trailer park

Only in South FLA

[LuCifer]

8. Why am I reminded of Bill Hicks' bit on COPS!

On "Rant In E-Minor", man did he nail it!

"He didn't mean to hit me ocifer! He's a good man!"

Lu

[lpbk2713]

9. Yep

I've recognized some of the "Cops" locales in the Tampa/Hillsborough areas.

[Randi_Listener]

10. Ybor is rough

I had 2 guys take an unprovoked swing at me in Ybor this summer.

[kdmorris]

7. When you are on the Turnpike..

and hear that I-95 has a 10 mile backup, you want to cry, cause you know everyone is coming over to the Turnpike soon! :D

[LuCifer]

11. Tell me about it!

I've noticed that most people will take the surface roads, like Congress, when I-95 gets a back up (again, from someone who pulled over to take an emergency piss or something that in no way blocks any lane of traffic!!!) but then again, here in southern PBC, 95 and the turnpike (I REFUSE to call it "The Ronald Reagan Turnpike" feh!) aren't as close as they are in Broward.

And whoever the morons are who are coming west on Glades Rd. onto the entrance thingy to the turnpike and keep running the YEILD sign when CARS ARE COMING, DO US ALL A FAVOR, TAKE THE BUS UNTIL YOU LEARN WHAT YEILD MEANS!!!!!!! This one jackass came literally 2 FEET from my car like 2 months ago, and has the NERVE to HONK AT ME! Kiss my booty ya troll!!!

Lu

[kdmorris]

12. I HATE that intersection..

Not only do you get either rude or confused people there doing all the wrong things, but I'm certain that the designer of that intersection was either drunk or stoned when they thought up THAT bright idea!

[LuCifer]

14. Ya know...

...I think you're right. That interchange's design is piss poor. Now that I think of it, a lot of the I-95 on/off rams are designed like shit! These loopty-loops are just ASKING for cars to flip right off them when you get approx. 3/4th the way on it...even if you're not hauling ass.

One thing I will never understand is people who tailgate me, even if I'm doing 10 MPH over the stupid speed limit, I'm in the RIGHT (aka SLOW!) lane...and the other lane(s) are WIDE OPEN! But no! Don't do the LOGICAL THING and PASS ME! No! Flash you lights, honk your horn, show me your IQ when you flip the bird, etc., BUT WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T PASS ME! Cuz ya know I'll eventually speed up...NOT!

Now I remember why I stick to the backroads when possible!!!

Lu

[kdmorris]

16. I hear ya!!

I refuse to drive on I-95 or the Turnpike unless I absolutely have to (which unfortunately includes going to work every day). The drivers down here are completely nuts and pretty rude as well. I've been flipped off for so many things that I started to wonder if that "symbol" should be the Official South Florida symbol.

I particularly love people in those HUGE moving zip codes with their flag flying in the back who zip up on my little Saturn and sit 2 inches off my back bumper while I'm actually doing 70 in the slow lane. I've already figured out that this is probably the way I'm going to die. Hit in the rear end by some asshole in an Excursion who is talking on the phone.

[LuCifer]

28. don't start me on people driving with cell phones!

cuz I'd end up posting a book!

HANG UP AND DRIVE!!!

About a year ago, I was going somewhere with my sis and my girlfiend, and we were waiting for the left turn arrow, well, this nutbag ON A CELL FONE OF COURSE turns off the other road (coming from our left side) and instead of turning into the lane that's on the right hand side, ya know, THE LANE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO TURN INTO, well they turned into the far left lane that was on our right side!!!!!!!! Now...is it just me?!?!?!
MF'ing IDIOTS!!!!!! How do you not know "OH SHIT! I'M TURNING INTO ON-COMING TRAFFIC!!! OH WELL!!!!" Unreal.

And I'd like to thank the FL Dept. of Transportation for having such sucky public transporation, so we have NO CHOICE but to risk life and limb EVERY DAY. South FL is only the 6th largest metro area in the USA, and we got the lamest public transportation on EARTH!!!!

Lu

[Clark4Prez]

13. Driving in Miami

Dave Berry has the best quote on Miami traffic:

"Miami is the only city in the world where everyone obeys the traffic laws...of their country of origin".

[LuCifer]

15. that's pretty much it!!!

And that usually means drive on the WRONG side of the road!!!

US 1 gets that all the time. I had this one bozo coming right at me, on US 1 in Delray, just north of Lake Ida Rd. on the SOUTHbound side. And there were plenty of other cars on the road too, so it was obvious that this was the SOUTHbound side. Aw no! This dude HAD to go NORTH on the SOUTHbound side! And you guessed it, he honked his horn AT ME! 'The hell!

Driving in South Florida, it's not just a necessity...IT'S AN ADVENTURE!!!

Lu

[WillyBrandt]

17. Do you know what is meant by "Cementary Village"?

If you do, then you're really from South Florida!

[LuCifer]

24. or Seisureville!!!

Oh man, I'm definitly going to HELL!

They really do have some STUPID names for developments down here! "Whaler's Cove." Huh?! First of all, there ain't no coves 'round here. 2nd, other than Sea World, whales aren't all that common here! I'll give them a half a point for creative at least.

Lu

[WillyBrandt]

25. You should check out development names in Jersey

Where I very briefly lived. Pheasant Hollow. Whispering Woods....

[kdmorris]

29. What makes me laugh

is when I drive by some of the richer communities (Homes from the LOW 900's!!) in Boca Raton and wonder if they know that they live in a city that literally means "Rat's Mouth". It doesn't sound so fancy when you say it that way. :D

[WillyBrandt]

18. If you love Dwight Lauderdale and hate Rick Sanchez

[WillyBrandt]

19. If you know that Bryan Norcross is gay

[WillyBrandt]

20. If you own the "Hurricane Andrew: a 10 billion dollar blowjob" shirt

[WillyBrandt]

21. If you hate that Coral Gables and Hialeah aren't on the grid

[WillyBrandt]

22. If you think Davie is a foreign country

[LuCifer]

26. Miami Lakes isn't much better

from what I've heard. Oh gods I HATE driving in Miami! ESPECIALLY on Dixie Hwy from where I 95 ends and you don't have a choice BUT to take Dixie! The friggin lanes are like only 5 feet wide!!! What jackass thought THAT was a good idea?!?!!?

Lu

[WillyBrandt]

27. Miami Lakes is weird, but it's better than Davie

Right off 826.

OK--here's one. Have you met anyone in the 2 Live Crew?

[Scurrilous]

30. Miami Lakes is great!

I've lived there for ages. :thumbsup:

[WillyBrandt]

31. Right around the 826 bend...

And how Graham got rich, I hear

[Scurrilous]

32. Yes....

.......his family built the whole town on what used to be their dairy farm (the southern border of Miami Lakes, NW 138th street, is known as Graham Dairy Road). They also built Lakes on the Green which is off I-75 at Miami Gardens Drive.

[WillyBrandt]

23. If you think Lolita is better than Shamu!

If you know, then you are really from South Florida!

[RebelOne]

33. Yep, remember them all, though I now live in No. Georgia.

[Buns_of_Fire]

34. If you've ever experienced a 12-pound palmetto bug

...(AKA a roach) losing its grip on the ceiling and dropping on your face at three in the morning.

If you've ever had to wrestle one of the same two-falls-out-of-three for the last slice of pizza.

If you've ever been caught in the traffic blockage while all the drawbridges over the Intercoastal were opened (and left that way slightly less than forever) to allow for the annual "boat parade" so the wealthy could show off how many ways they could overload their electrical systems.

If you know where Hugh Taylor Birch State Park is (or at least was, since they may have sold it for development by now).

If you remember Skipper Chuck and the Popeye Playhouse.

Royal... Castle... Is just the greatest place.. I'm hungry! Let's eat!