Not feeling so hot? Try The Woo World Self Treater.

[ironflange]

Thanks to mr blur in the Skepticism, Science and Pseudoscience Group

Woo World Self Treater

This online service has been created so you can avoid doctors and hospitals (who only treat the symptoms, not the illness, and will send you home to die when they can't sell you any more pills). Simply fill in the form below, concentrate your mind on the vibrational level of your illness, and press the button.

http://wootreater.blogspot.com

edit: screwed up the formatting, that's better. BTW, I suffer from curdled mammary glands.

[mockmonkey]

1. Amazing

Here is what it says about me.

"Quantum-consciousness analysis of your auric field shows you are suffering the symptoms of trapped wind, which is commonly seen among males born under the sign of Aquarius. This may also be due to alien implants. Kinesiopathy has been shown to be effective* in relieving the symptoms of trapped wind and allowing the body to heal itself. You can also boost your immune levels by remembering to stay grounded and conscious, and commence colonic irrigations to remove toxins."

I therefore release my trapped winds. There isn't much I can do about my alien implants.

[seemunkee]

2. Feline AIDS

Quantum-consciousness analysis of your auric field shows you are suffering the symptoms of feline AIDS, which is commonly seen among males born under the sign of Pisces. Shamanic drumming has been shown to be effective* in relieving the symptoms of feline AIDS and allowing the body to heal itself. You can also boost your immune levels by remembering to enjoy the best of the expansiveness of this time, and continue colonic irrigations to remove toxins.

[u4ic]

3. Distemper

And here I thought it was just a cold!


That would explain my clumsiness, however. :crazy:

[crim son]

4. Skin conditions and possibly autism.

I need to get myself checked out fast. :P