For all the Christians who are pissed the Jews killed Jesus

[jmowreader]

They tell me the reason Fristians hate Jewish people is The Jews Killed Jesus.

Okay, fine.

But consider this: Let us assume, for the sake of assumption, that the Jews did not kill Jesus. Let us say that Jesus went into the Construction Business instead of the Miracle-and-Healing Business. Jesus was a carpenter for a while before he started turning water into wine and healing lepers, so this makes sense.

Jesus started his own construction company.

Jesus' firm built a lot of houses.

One of Jesus' employees hooked him up with his sister's best friend. They fell in love, got married and raised six wonderful kids.

Jesus moved his family into a twelve-room home with a fireplace in Herzlia. He became the preferred contractor in that part of Israel because of his high-quality work and reasonable prices.

Every Thursday, the night before the Sabbath, Jesus and his crew bowled in the Herzlia Tradesman's League. They drank beer and had a good time while they bowled, and gathered with his friends to eat roasted meat and tell bawdy tales after the last pin had fallen.

In Jesus' later years, he became a devoted grandfather. His fifteen grandsons and sixteen granddaughters loved to visit his home and make small projects with all of his tools.

When Jesus died of old age, his children buried him in a plot overlooking the Mediterranean.

Now! As a twentieth-century religious person, who would you rather follow? A man who lived a life of sacrifice and service, who absorbed all the sin in the world by dying a horrible death on a cross...or a contractor who wasn't much different from you or I?

[regularguy]

1. Well, when I stub my toe

yelling "Jesus Fucking Contractor" probably wouldn't be satisfactory...:)

[Scarlett17]

25. Hilarious!

:rofl:

[crim son]

2. Well no shit.

It's like people who blame Judas for doing what he was placed there to do. The poor Jews had no choice in the matter. Do you think God would have stood by quietly had they chosen to release Jesus instead of Barabbas? I think not!

[Taverner]

3. Jews didn't kill Jesus - the Romans did

EVERY OTHER GOSPEL other than the 4 cannonical ones (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) have the Romans killing him, not the Jews.

[jmowreader]

8. And you know...

guys named Robertson, Falwell and Swaggart were in the crowd who did him in.

[sakabatou]

21. And then they used his skull as a mug.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

4. umm aside from the fact that its irrational to blame a people for something that happened over 2000

years ago.

[jmowreader]

9. My friend, that's what Fristianity is all about!

I'm starting to think the fundamentalist churches have this contract you sign when you join: "I promise to be perpetually pissed off."

It must be hard to be perpetually pissed off.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

5. At least I'd know what Jesus would drive ...

... a beat up Ford F-150 with ladder racks.

Pulled by donkeys, since they didn't have the internal combustion engine back then.

[redwitch]

6. With a bumper sticker that reads "What Would I Do?"

:-)

[Pacifist Patriot]

7. *sigh* I've been through enough religious debates today.

So I'll just lay this matter to rest. ;)

Jesus was an apocalyptic Jew. One of his followers promised a leadership role, Judas, got sick of waiting for the reversal of fortune so he told the authorities Jesus was proclaiming himself the Messiah to his inner sanctum of followers (Jewish Messiah, not orthodox Christian definition.) The Romans were pissed someone would assume himself to be the future King of the Jews and potentially incite a riot during the habitually sensitive time of Passover so they executed him.

Story spread like wildfire and disparate philosophies throughout turn of the millenia Mediterranean resulted in a plethora of religions in the name of Christ. Proto-orthodox interpretation prevailed.

[Gormy Cuss]

15. Thus the "INRI" on depictions of the crucifix.

Iesus Nazarenus Rex Iudaeorum
Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews.

Jesus WAS a Jew, a fact that the "Jews killed Jesus" crowd likes to ignore.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

10. They should hate Romans instead.

But we know they are not logical at all.

[scarpa43]

11. I think it was Roger Ebert who put it best

I think when he reviewed Passion of the Christ and brought up the anti-Jew backlash he brought up that per Christianity Jesus was born to die for our sins.

If he was born to die, why get made at the people that helped that happen?

[Little Wing]

12. The Jews are responsible for Home Depot?

Interesting

[matcom]

13. have you shopped their SALES??

:bounce:

[youthere]

19. OMG!

I picked up the neatest light fixtures for my bathroom there, $35 each marked down from $160.

[Rabrrrrrr]

20. Had they already reduced the price, or did you jew 'em down?

:rofl:

[Jamastiene]

14. Wasn't Jesus technically Jewish anyhow?

I don't get that argument they make at all.

[billyskank]

23. Not just technically but quite properly

King Of The Jews, no?

[Jamastiene]

24. My aunt says it best.

An awful lot of these right wing hate mongers who claim to be Christian are going to be in for a big surprise when they get to judgement day and find that God is a little old black Jewish lady. :rofl: I'm picturing Whoopi Goldberg's sarcasm directed at them, lol. That would be :popcorn: worthy to watch.

[The Sushi Bandit]

16. Video Killed the Radio Star!!

I could care less about all this Jesus shit!

[SPKrazy]

17. Oh Good Gawdess!

I'm with you I think as far as the logic and all, but I'm not following "him" at this moment in time anyway.

[Deep13]

18. The Jews? Oh, now I understand what they are saying.

For some reason I always thought that the claim was that Jaws killed Jesus. That always seemed puzzling to me.

[GreenZoneLT]

22. Why are they pissed about Jesus dying, anyway?

Wasn't that supposedly the whole purpose of his life on earth? To die for our sins? So, if the nice Pharisees had talked the Romans into letting him go, we'd all burn in hell for eternity? Man, they'd REALLY have something to hate Jews about then.

[TroubleMan]

26. Um.....it was the Romans who killed Jesus....we should blame the Italians.

Crucifixition was a Roman punishment.

[ellacott]

27. As a Christian I don't know one Christian who hates jews

because they killed Jesus. Where are you guys getting this from?