What kind of wood should I use for my trip today?

[Jamastiene]

It's sleeting/freezing asshole cold outside today and I must miss community college classes (pity, not), which has been delayed just enough to interfere with my doctor appointment. So, I must still venture out in this red state (hell has frozen over, lol) anyhow today. I found some garlic in the back of the fridge to make a nice necklace to repel the right wing demons in my area, but what kind of wood should I use to make a stake as a backup just in case any of those heartless demons approach me anyhow? I would say it's colder than a Republican's heart outside, but I have realized they have no heart. I have always wondered what type of wood they use to make stakes to impale heartless demons who cannot be defeated any other way. I depart for my destination (doctor's office) at 1:30 P.M. EST today. Any suggestions? I'm really interested in the discussion of whether oak, teak, mahogany, pine, or what kind of wood would preserve my life in case any of them approach me despite the garlic necklace.

[billyskank]

1. Oak is nice.

:D

[Jamastiene]

4. ROFL

:rofl: Maybe the nice grain of the wood and the mere strength of the wood will throw them off a bit while I make my hasty escape. :hi:

[billyskank]

5. Whatever you do, good luck

I hear it is treacherous out there. :hug:

:loveya:

[Jamastiene]

7. And it's full of right wing demons, well,

all demons are right wing to a degree, but these are particularly brain damaged. My hometown has its own brand name when it comes to FReepers/right winged demons. They are easily recognizable by the fact that they only have a right wing and they flap around in circles. That should make things slightly easier, but I am slightly feverish this morning. It's nothing serious. Although a cold and flu are not technically the same, but they sure feel the same way. Anyhoo, assuming my doctor/care provider (he doesn't have a doctorate and I haven't actually seen my "doctor" there in years) isn't one of them, the garlic, hopefully, will suffice. If not, I want a nice selection of tools to use so I can defend myself. I'm not known for being particularly agile in cold weather. :loveya:

[Schema Thing]

2. C'mon be nice

use Tea Tree wood so the wound won't fester.

[Jamastiene]

6. Hmm, that would add a nice touch.

That is one suggestion I hadn't thought of in my fear laden quest to defend my sick body from yet one more violator. :hi:

[Goblinmonger]

3. I always do best with my 3 wood

I just can't seem to control the 1 wood. Though a fairway wood might give you more speed if that is a concern.

[Jamastiene]

8. I only play golf on the computer as I cannot afford clubs.

Could I borrow your 3 wood?

[Goblinmonger]

9. Certainly

Courses are covered in snow right now so it is just in the garage. Make sure you wipe it off, though, when you are done.

[Jamastiene]

10. I would think it would need a nice soaking

in some sort of disinfectant and a good check under UV lights for nasty red crawlies too. Thanks for the offer. I'll be sure to be kind and wipe behind. :evilgrin:

[KG]

11. morning.

it's a sin to waste one.