Funny FUNNY stuff!! E-mail Response to Pat Robertson

[HoneyBee]

A friend of mine forwarded this video to me - it's Pat Robertson's take on population decline. Essentially he's saying only people of faith are able to bear children. This is a response that was e-mailed to him - actually she submitted the question to Ask Pat! - if we're lucky enough maybe he'll read the letter on TV!!! Note: She had to actually submit multiple Ask Pat!s - his box limits the amount of text you can enter. Incidentally I think he should allow more - the categories are kinda heavy..

Dear Pat:
I've just recently become aware of your views on population decline, I'm intrigued.. I've generally associated the phenomenon of hyperactive uterus with under utilized brain - but really, who am I to speculate?

In order to test your theory that there is a correlation between faith and fertility I would like to use the scientific method. I am against reproduction, but to solve the riddle I'm willing to offer myself as test uterus #1.

I am sure you're aware that there is a much higher incidence of babies born with Downs Syndrome to women 35 and older (I know you probably think that link is weak - it is probably due to sin now isn't it?) - anyway - upon turning 35 I will take the following actions:

1. Drink as heavily as I can without killing myself or rendering myself infertile.

2. Have lots of unprotected sex.

3. Determine if I am pregnant. If I am pregnant during the second trimester I will have the blood test to determine the Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) level in my blood. If it is high that means it is very likely that I will have a baby with Downs Syndrome.

4. If the baby is normal I will have an abortion. If the baby is likely Downs I will carry it to term.

5. I will repeat this cycle until I have at least 8 children with Downs Syndrome.

I will raise them in an environment you consider ethical and religious. Since they will be (to varying degrees) mentally impaired getting them to swallow your brand of religion should be a no brainer.

Here's the tricky part morally - I will have to allow and encourage them to reproduce (to test if they are more likely than the average population to conceive). Allowing them to bear children could have ethical implications - but I'm sure that's never stopped you. I'm positive we'll find a way around it.

Notes:
-I will encourage fellow female friends to participate. I know a group of eight hardly provides an airtight answer either way.
-I know you're thinking - "This won't work since she's not a believer she won't be able to conceive." - don't worry - I must be an anomaly. I once became impregnated. As the zygote grew I became nauseated with the human cancer that grew inside. I got one of those nifty aborto pills and righted the situation. Looking back I really wish I'd had it tested first - I could have gotten a bit of a head start.

Anyway Pat, let me know what you think. I think this could work!


<embed width="430" height="389" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" src="http://s32.photobucket.com/player.swf?file=http://vid32.photobucket.com/albums/d19/klopfensteinc/01-11-07-700CLub-popdecline.flv"></embed>

Darn, I can't get video to embed... http://s32.photobucket.com/albums/d19/klopfensteinc/?action=view¤t=01-11-07-700CLub-popdecline.flv

[xchrom]

1. i think i'm in love with whoever wrote this.

:rofl:

[HoneyBee]

2. If you're a MySpacer.... you MUST Add "The Discouragement Kitten" today!!

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=67794021

[HoneyBee]

3. Seriously... this is funny. Isn't it?

[crim son]

5. I'm not getting the joke.

But I'm an old fart, so that means nothing.

[ironflange]

4. I hope he actually reads it

What a fucking asshat, and I use "asshat" because I think "douchebag" has become unhip for some reason. :)

[Goblinmonger]

6. I personally am lobbying

for cumsack as the alternative to douchebag. It hasn't quite caught on yet.

On edit: jizzbag might work, too. I'm open to that one.