This kid's got a hard-on for God

[Little Wing]

[KG]

1. another put-on, beaten-down, persecuted christian. ho-hum.

[Karenina]

56. Or beating off...

WTH is that above his belt line??? :crazy:

[Goblinmonger]

2. Who the hell's stopping him?

Or does he mean that really obvious, loud, fakey bullshit. That might get a response from me.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

3. I bet that kid listens to Creed.

Just a hunch.

[Burma Jones]

4. I guess HE won't be inheriting the earth

Oh, I'm all woozy......

[GoddessOfGuinness]

8. ...

:rofl::rofl::rofl:
Best answer ever!

[ghostsofgiants]

5. He looks like he wants to beat the shit out of me.

Jesus would approve.

[RedStateShame]

6. Persecuted people don't wear cargo pants.

[ironflange]

7. Not much to that site

Just more of those graphics.

"Persecute me at your own peril." What exactly does that mean? Will God smite me if I don't like what you're doing?

- OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!

[deucemagnet]

35. No comment here.

I just thought this graphic would go well with your post.

[distantearlywarning]

9. What exactly is he rebelling against?

Last time I checked, any individual person could pray anywhere they felt like, assuming it wasn't causing a public disturbance or something.

I think to really feel good about himself, this kid might need to hire some off-duty cops to come pretend to haul him away when he starts praying in public.

[uppityperson]

32. meh, uppity angsty teenagers.

"you can't make me!" I wasn't going to try. "well you can't! Why won't you try to make me? You should!"

[stuntcat]

10. an American suburbanite somehow feeling persecuted :p

What Would Jesus Tell that pitiful dweeb?

[YellowRubberDuckie]

60. I hate to tell those fuckers, but...

They are the ones doing all of the fucking persecuting.
Duckie

[youthere]

11. That poor persecuted child. I feel so sorry for him...

Wait. No I don't.

[jpgray]

12. The bottom four buttons on his shirt were raptured

[LostInAnomie]

67. And so were his shoes.

Although, they were the most pious pair of Nike Shox ever to grace a pair of feet.

[graywarrior]

13. Where would one pray at the mall? Food Court? The Gap? Sears?

[jpgray]

14. Orange Julius. Yea, behold! for they slurped it anon, and it was good

:hide:

[graywarrior]

18. Parables doth drip from thy lips, jpgray.

:rofl:

[jpgray]

20. I'd tell you that we Grays need to stick together

If it were in reply to any series of posts but this one. :P

[graywarrior]

22. Grays Rule.

Some day the rest will follow.

[jakefrep]

26. And the Orange Julius begat Jamba Juice,

which begat Mrs. Field's, which begat Starbucks......

[Turbineguy]

48. Let's hope

they rendered unto Julius, that which is Julius'.

[jpgray]

51. These replies are cracking me up

:rofl:

[TheCentepedeShoes]

66. HEEEEE,EEEEE

OH, uh,,god, that's funny.. I hadn't thought about oj since forever.

[Phillycat]

15. He's kinda hot.

[Tyo]

16. "Persecute me at your own peril"

Oh yeah! Dude, I'll persecute you if you'll persecute me.

I'm such a slut for butch Xian guys. :spank:

[JackBeck]

17. Thanks for letting us know, kid.

And I will be gay, when I want, where I want. Persecute ME at your own peril, buddy.

[dolo amber]

59. ...

Amen. :patriot:

[BOSSHOG]

19. Take that aggression and kill you some "ragheads" christian boy

Unless of course you are just a chickenhawk putz being used by some radical christian cleric who makes up cute little posters so you and your kind are tricked into believing you are persecuted in the land of the free.

Caveat: If you do have the balls to join the Army you won't be fighting to defend your religious book, it will be something way more important then that.

Any of you liberals touch my stuff, I'll kill ya. Lighten up francis.

[krispos42]

21. As long as there are tests in school...

there will be prayer in school.

[Richard Steele]

23. "No, seriously- Persecute me! C'mon, won't SOMEBODY persecute me? Pretty please?"

[BOSSHOG]

25. If no one persecutes me, my silly posturing is all for nought.

The Preacher said it wouldn't be like this. He said evil liberals and secularists would persecute me 24/7. What the fuck?!?

[flvegan]

24. I'll bet the folks at CU are real douchebags.

Christian-Underground, indeed.

:whistles:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

27. Where are the lions?

You don't get to be a persecuted Christian unless there are lions.

[El Fuego]

28. And WWJD???

I don't remember this part: "Goeth forth and kicketh ass with thy prayers."

[otherlander]

29. Go ahead. Nobody cares.

[KG]

30. doesn't Jesus himself say that one should go into seclusion to pray?

rather than making a show of praying in public?

[LynzM]

34. A-yup. He did say that.

Funny, some parts seem to get "lost" pretty often... you know, that part, and the "loving" and "forgiving" and "helping" parts... those often seem to only matter when someone's looking. :eyes:

(Caveat: I know plenty of good, honestly helpful and loving Christians. They're not the ones I'm talking about!)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

36. Here it is in the KJV, even, the fundies' beloved version:

5And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

6But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

7But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

8Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

(Matthew 6:5-8)

[LSK]

31. will he pray in the street that somehow the bus doesnt hit him?

:shrug:

[Momgonepostal]

33. What's so "underground" about being Christian?

Christianity being the dominant US religion and all.

Where is all this prayer persecution taking place?

[Arugula Latte]

37. They're all Victims! Victims I tell you!

Waaaaaaaah! Poor Christians! They hardly have a presence in this country at all!

:eyes:

(I just wish they'd all STFU for once)

[Little Wing]

38. WHOA! CHECK OUT THE CHICK VERSION!

Must've just finished droppin the peril down on some persecutin ass

[jpgray]

39. Drawstring capris--the casual prayer look

[Redneck Socialist]

41. and a tie-dye

"After we lay some prayerful smackdown on the godless heathens, you wanna listen to my Phish bootlegs?"

[jpgray]

52. Wookie Foot remixes for Jesus

[skygazer]

40. He should pray for some decent clothes

I don't care if he prays but I'll persecute the hell out of him for that silly outfit.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

42. Fundies excel at arguing against strawmen n/t

[Mojambo]

43. So that's not an actual site, huh?

I was hoping to have some fun over there.

[Deja Q]

44. Threatening violence? Oopsie, thalt shalt not...

[u4ic]

45. A hard on, huh? I hope he remembers...

There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood!

Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
God needs everybody's.
Mine! And mine! And mine!

Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaate!

[HughBeaumont]

46. Knock thyself out, Sunny Jim.

I'll be over here meditating with this Buddhist. Let me know if you see any persecutors, oh blond blue-eyed caucasian oppressed one. :think:

[terrya]

47. So, who's stopping him at school?

Oh, that's right...the Supreme Court.

[Blue-Jay]

49. Yet another persecuted evangelical.

[Fenris]

58. ROFL. Great graphic.

[xchrom]

50. oh brother.

:eyes:

[Ms_Dem_Meanor]

53. Whatever floats his boat.

No one is stopping him. He sure didn't need to make an ad about it.


Can any one say "overkill?"

[SeattleGirl]

54. And your point is what, young man?

:eyes:

[Karenina]

65. That he wasn't circumsized?

:shrug:

[NC_Nurse]

55. Go ahead.

Knock yerself out.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Whatevah!

[Danger Mouse]

57. Dude, are you threatening me?

Seriously. Come on. Get the fuck over yourself. Persecute? Christian UNDERGROUND?
LOL. ROTFLMFAO.
This guy's got potential! He's a fantastic comedian!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :applause: :applause: :applause: :woohoo: :woohoo: :banghead: :banghead:

[Taverner]

61. If you promise not to pray at my school, I won't think at your church

I love that bumper sticker

[ContraBass Black]

62. Where does God come into his declaring his right to do what no one will stop him

From doing and threat against non-existent persecutors?

[Deep13]

63. How 'bout I just laugh at you instead?

Wow, he's got all four possible locations covered too.

[Rabrrrrrr]

64. What a delightfully homoerotic and pedophilic image

While your pastor is blowing you, in the name of Jebus almighty, and telling you that homosexuals are going to hell (and that you two aren't because you're, you know, just male bonding and showing male Biblical strength and sharing in the specialness that is the superiority of maleness over femaleness) and telling you all the lies about how its illegal to pray in school, illegal to pray in the mall, illegal, for God's sake, to come out and force ask a stadium full of Denver Bronco fans to pray with you before the game, you can look at that image and pretending your hand is down that kid's pants.

[Blue_Tires]

68. perhaps he can test that proclaimation in the middle of Interstate 95?