I have 2 incredibly embarrassing confessions to make....

[RandomKoolzip]

1. So I'm at work, right, and I work in a kitchen. e got the radio turned to the Clear Channel "Real Music Variety!" station. Not in a weird mood, or happy or sad or anything.

Sheryl Crow's cover of "The First Cut is the Deepest" comes on the radio. This has never happened to me at work before, I swear, but something about the melody and the words and memories of stuff in the past came flooding into my brain, and all of a sudden I'm like Jerry in that Seinfeld episode where he "gets in touch with his feelings" ("What is this salty discharge?!") and tears well up in my eyes. The chorus hits, and now I'm crying like a goddamn baby. As the song goes on, I have to go hide in a corner lest any of the other cooks see me crying.

Now, this is especially embarrassing because I'd been railing in the LOunge in the last few days against the tedious trend of current pop stars covering songs from the past to grab an easy hit...Now that I've been literally brought to tears by one of these songs, I feel like an ass. It MOVED me, it really did. There, I said it....

Anybody else have this reaction to this song in any of its versions, either by Crow, Rod Stewart, or Cat Stevens?

2. Okay, so I'm walking home from work tonight and stop off at Circle K to pick up some jerky 'cuz I want a snack and I'm on the Atkins Diet. I look in the "clearance" bin and see some "low carb" candy called "Sinfully Delicious! Desert Bites" in there, selling for 85 cents. Shit, that's cheap! I buy it.

I go home, log on to DU, and start eating this not-so-wonderful candy. Hell, it's lowcarb, and I'm hungry, so I eat the whole 1.4 oz. package of "Sinfully Delicious!"

As I'm reading the thread from last night about things we'd never say, out of nowhere, my entire stomach feels like it's being pulled by gravity toward the center of the earth at 1000 mph. Frightening, satanic noises emit from my belly.

I run to the bathroom: EXPLOSIVE, PAINFUL diarrhea. Stomach still making noises, twenty minutes later....

As I go back to the computer, I look on the side of the package of "Sinfully Delicious!" and it says: "Excessive Consumption may have a laxative effect." Thanks! I guess eating too much low carb candy will make your colon imitate Joe Cocker, huh? Jeez, I wish I'd known....




It's been a weird night. How's it going for YOU?

[7th_Sephiroth]

1. oh yeah

same thing with the carb controll gumdrops *2 g's of carbs in a bag and a total colon cleanout*

[RandomKoolzip]

5. Lesson learned: stick to actual FOOD.

Dr. Atkins is in hell right now, laughing at my sorry, red bunghole....It's real food from here on out.

[101 Proof]

2. I'm writing an appeal...

to get my financial aid back.

The funeral song plays while I write...

[RandomKoolzip]

3. Uh...what?

Can you unpack that one for us? I don't get it.

[101 Proof]

4. You asked how our night is going...

so I said I'm writing an appeal to get my financial aid back from my college campus. That's all.

There's a new rule here on campus that says if you don't maintain a GPA above a 2.0, you get cut off financial aid. So, I got cut because I didn't make the standard. Now I'm appealing. I pray to God I get my financial aid back....

[RandomKoolzip]

8. What's this about a funeral song, then?

Is Sheryl Crow singing it? Are you having gut-wrenching diarrhea as you're writing? Give us the goods!

You want your finacial aid BACK from college? Did they take it illegally? Whahoppa?


On edit: Oh, okay. Sorry, dude, that's rough. Drop out of school, join the circus, raise hybrid beetles, or something....SOunds like this school sucks anyways.

[101 Proof]

17. eh..

long story, but it was my fault I lost my financial aid.

The funeral song has to do with the possibility of the appeal not getting accepted.

Too long of story to write. Maybe another time.

[gator_in_Ontario]

30. just had to say..

I love that sig line...so true, isn't it?

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

6. That Mannitol is a bitch... they should warn people a little better

happened to me too.
They don't really define excessive very well, do they?

[Syrinx]

19. mannitol?

isn't that the stuff coke dealers cut their stash with?

[wtmusic]

7. Kind of like 'Lipesse'

That Dupont fat substitute to which the FDA required them to affix the warning, "May cause loose stools". *Mmmm good*

[RandomKoolzip]

9. Or "Gas with Oily Discharge."

That's the warning for that Olestra stuff....Best band name EVER.

[supernova]

10. Maltitol and Sorbitol

(Sugar alcohols) are the usual culprits. :D

I think our darling TXlib pulled this stunt recently, IIRC.

Moral of the story: stick to the serving amount. :D

As for Sheryl Crow, hey you're finally admitting your human!? Can it be?

[RandomKoolzip]

14. Human? No, just a sap....

It feels good to get this off my chest and out of my bowels and out of my ducts and....

Serving amount? Nope, no more Atkins candy for me. If I'm gonna snack, it's gonna be jerky or celery. I will not risk demonic possession of my precious bowels ever again...

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

16. Right, I had the name wrong. Thanks

Nasty stuff.
I am sure I will not go out of my way for it again. I will just take the calories from real sugar, must less worse than risking dehydration from that crap.

[Melsky]

11. You got it bad at both ends

Tears coming out one end, and...

I think those malitol candies should have a big huge warning on them. It comes on almost without warning, and if you were on a bus or in a meeting or something, it could be really, really bad.

[RandomKoolzip]

15. I know...what's next?

post-nasal drip? I'd rather retain my fluids, thank you very much...they're all I got!

[Kathy in Cambridge]

12. My First Experience With It was at the movies

And I ended up missing 1/3 of it because I at *ONE* Atkins Endulge Bar. :grr:

Laxative is too gentle a word for what I experienced. It sounds like it is for you, too, RandomKoolzip.

My husband and I tried another brand (Carborite?) and they tasted better, but the flatulence was a real room clearer. One of my cats left the room-he couldn't stand it.

[RandomKoolzip]

13. Yeah, there was nothing "'lax"ing about it!

I thought my stomach was trying to EAT ME.

Your cats left the room?! Jeezus, that must have been MEPHITIC to make a cat vacate a room....

[Gingersnap]

27. ROFLMGDAO!

"laxative is too gentle a word" indeed.

[dolo amber]

18. HA HA!!

Are you POSITIVE it was the candy and not your inner music snob rebelling in disgust? ;)

Feel better. :hi: :hug:

[RandomKoolzip]

21. I've had enough smart-ass comments out of you, missy....

We'll see who laughs last in the Room of Questions!

(I have no idea what that means, but it sounds like something the villain in "Beastmaster 3" might say...)


Thank you...I already do feel better, now that I've "Soaked Up the Sun" of your postive vibes!

[Ellen Forradalom]

20. One summer afternoon in Budapest

I was walking down the street with a friend. She was thirsty, so she darted into a shop to buy a bottle of mineral water, Franz-Josef Víz. We sit down and she drinks about three-quarters of the bottle.

The next day she reported that she spent the night in agony on the pot. It turned out it was a medicinal water for treatment of constipation; dosage was about 1 or 2 oz. After that we called it Csoda Víz or Wunder Wasser; Franz-Josef's Revenge; and The Empire Strikes Back.

[Pobeka]

22. OK, I'll bite

Kenny Loggins did a cover of his own song, "House at Pooh Corner".

But he changed up the lyrics, and now he's the dad, thinking about his own teddy bear which is now in the arms of his small child, and the bear says "Welcome home".

That one got me -- my 2 girls were about 2 and 4 years old at the time, and it struck a serious chord with me, seeing how my girls were in some sense reliving the times I remembered as a young child.

[Pobeka]

23. Oh, and one more thing!

Being emotional about music is not an embarassment.

About eating fake food, well, er, uh...

[RandomKoolzip]

24. It's weird you'd mention that...

One time I cried because I was eating a low carb fudgicle and it tasted terrible, AT THE SAME time that a Kenny Loggins song was giving me diarrhea. 'struth, guvner!

What are the odds....

[jpgray]

25. Hobnobbing with rich folks in Montrose CO this Christmas

I got the worst gas in the history of all mankind about one hour after the eats. So there I sat, playing the minstrel on my guitar and suffering through some four more hours of the most dull conversation imaginable as I thought my gastro-intestinal system would explode like a shrapnel grenade, or Tycho Brahe's bladder, causing power outages and roadblocks all over the Montrose metropolitan area. :)

There was a righteous visit to the facilities once at a secure location, let me tell you.

[populistmom]

26. Stuff

I have cried at that same song and I'm not normally a Sheryl Crow person, but it is seriously beautiful. I cried a couple months ago listening to the Dixie Chicks version of Landslide as well. Sigh...

As for Atkins, some yummy snack ideas:

Root beer floats (oh yeah) A scoop of Breyers Carb Sense Vanilla in Waist Watcher (has Splenda, not Nutrasweet) Root Beer- so good and no gassy stuff- 4 carbs

Another favorite of mine- NACHOS (oh yeah, NACHOS!) Keto corn tortilla chips (4 carbs a serving, can be found at The Vitamin Shoppe and other health food places or online), sprinkle on shredded cheddar cheese and some salsa or hot sauce. Microwave. So good. You can even add a bit of sour cream.

And that candy in moderation. No more than 2-3 pieces. I learned once the hard way too, though not a whole box (ouch!)

[Whitacre D_WI]

28. This is the most upsetting thread I've ever read at DU.

Really, RKZ, Sheryl Crow? Well, at least you didn't cry at her duet with Kid Rock.

Anyway, I hope your ass is feeling better.

[ScreamingMeemie]

29. Oh man, you poor baby!

What a night. Hope you are feeling better...and yes that song gets me all the time.

Hugs,Laura