Have you accepted Tom Cruise as your personal savior?

[Bossy Monkey]

Poll question: Have you accepted Tom Cruise as your personal savior?

In case you're living even more fully under a rock than I am (do? whatever), the leader of Scientology recently declared (per UK's ultrareliable The Sun newspaper) that Tom Cruise is now their uh, (for want of a better word) religion's Christ figure. I guess Travolta fell out of the sweepstakes by kissing that dude. "Don't ask don't tell" even includes batshit crazy cults, apparently.

There was already a great response along these lines on the original thread about the Scientologist leader's announcement to the effect of "I've got the wood; you get the nails." While I thought it was very funny, it's probably a little over the top as a poll response, so I'm not putting it on. Other is always available to you, however.

[Bossy Monkey]

1. What would Tom Cruise do? Kick it!

:P

[Connonym]

6. Funny! n/t

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

2. The Jackhammer Jesus is my savior.

[philosophie_en_rose]

3. You're glib, undisclosedlocation.

But funny. :)

Call me a suppressive person, but I wonder if Tom Cruise is enturbulated by the thought of what it takes to be a Christ-like figure. Like crucifixion.

Or by what L.Ron thought Christ did. Like molest boys.

:shrug:

[Bossy Monkey]

13. Thanks

I thought Tom was more into airline stewards. Or maybe I have the wrong Hollywood rumor.:)

[MonkeyFunk]

4. I believe

in one Tom, the father, the almighty
Creator of Days of Thunder,
I believe in Suri Cruise, his only begotten (?) daughter.

He was conceived by the power of Francis Coppola
and born of the virgin Spielberg.

He suffered under Brooke Shields,
was crucified, and nearly died.

He descended into Mission Impossible III
and on the third day, bought United Studios.

He ascended into Heaven
and sits at (on?) the right hand of David Geffen.

He will come again to make
Mission Impossible IV.

I believe in Katie Holmes,
and the wholly ludicrous succession of ex-wives.

The forgiveness of Vanilla Sky

The resurrection of a career

and beards everlasting.

Amen.

[jakefrep]

7. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

:spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Let me guess - you were/are Catholic?

[MonkeyFunk]

20. It's obvious, isn't it?

I managed to escape.

[Mad_Dem_X]

9. Amen!

Praise Cruise! :crazy:

[Robeson]

5. Only if he shows me the money.

[MissMillie]

10. perfect!

:applause:

[mainegreen]

8. Some day I will point at a picture of him, pull my son close and say

"Son, whenever you find yourself in a tough spot, think to yourself 'What would Tom Cruise do?' and proceed on the opposite course."

[Arugula Latte]

11. Blasphemer!

There is only one true Savior, and that is Jenis!

Only by accepting Jenis into your pants, er, heart, can you be forgiven and live in eternal bliss.

[Deep13]

12. Well, sometimes you just gotta say "What the fuck."

[AlCzervik]

14. does he come with an applicator?

[NewWaveChick1981]

15. Did you see KO's take on this last night?

:spray: :rofl: :rofl: This was too funny!

[Bossy Monkey]

18. Missed it, twice. I was hoping he'd bring it up on his radio show with Dan Patrick

but if he did, I missed it too. Maybe some kind YouTubean will have pity on me and post it.

[NewWaveChick1981]

19. They'll probably have it on the MSNBC website at some point...

:rofl: Definitely worth watching!

[jobycom]

16. Meh. Only if Willie tells me to.

I was lost in trouble and strife, I heard a voice and it changed my life
And now it's a brand new day, and I ain't afraid to say
You're not alone when you're down and out
And I think you know who I'm talking about
When I don't know how I'll get through
I ask myself what would Willie do

What would Willie do, well he'd travel so far with nothing but a song and his old guitar
And a tour bus and some semi-trucks, thirty crew men and a little bit of luck
Well he loves all the people, the ugly and the randy
If you don't believe me take a look at the family
And they'll tell you that it's true
When skies are gray what would Willie do

Well long ago he came unto us, his words were simple but they went right through us
And the whole world sang along, but then they didn't want to hear his songs
He was gone and we thought we'd lost him
But he grew his hair and he moved to Austin
And all of the people smiled, they came to hear him sing from miles
Like a miracle all those rednecks and hippies
From New York City down to Mississippi
Stood together and raised a brew
When it's all gone wrong what would Willie do

You know sometimes I wonder when I ain't gettin' nowhere
What would old Willie do when it all gets too much to bear
And I can see him on his lonely old tour bus
And he's got his problems just like any of us
Well he'd just take a deep breath and then he'd let it all go
And he'd take another deep breath and let it all go
And he'd take another deep breath...and he'd hold it
Ah and I bet he'd feel hungry in a way that seems strange
Yeah hungry for all the things that he just can't change
Like the time he passed out in is own bedroom
And his wife sewed him up in the sheets and beat him with a broom and he forgave her
And you think that's rough, well then the IRS came and they took away all of his stuff
They took his golf course and his recording studio, and he just went out and did another show
So when it's all coming down on you
You better ask yourself what would Willie do

What would Willie do, well he'd take a little time
And talk to old rooser as he'd drive on down the line
And there's millions down that road, and with a word he's gonna lighten their load
He loves all the people no matter their races
Hell he even had a hit country song with Julio Iglesias
And that ain't easy to do, so when it's all too much, what would Willie
When the game gets tough what would Willie
When they call your bluff what would Willie do

[graywarrior]

17. :)