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"FEEL THE LOVE" DU! I saw this starting on another post and it's too much fun to miss!

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Jeffersons Ghost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 04:56 AM
Original message
"FEEL THE LOVE" DU! I saw this starting on another post and it's too much fun to miss!
With certain leaders showing a distinct lack of love for America, I see no reason for us to also degrade the human spirit. Instead, enjoy a short diversion into the delight of romance writing!

Here is how it starts:


BeHereNow says
"As she passed the bananas in her local market, her mind turned to thoughts of her lover... Curious George.
She felt her heart quicken and her cheek blush, as she remembered her last encounter with the King of the Corporatist Jungle.
Suddenly she was afraid, ashamed that the other shoppers might somehow know or read
her thoughts..."
(feel free to continue my fellow DUErs)

CrazyOrangeCat says

"She glanced up, her eyes still aglaze . . .

. . . from dreams of simian passion. The gangly, slack-jawed produce boy was staring at her!"

"Maam, I have some firmer ones over here!"


aint_no_life_nowhere says
When she appeared to brush him off and move on, the gangly produce boy
seemed to read her secret thoughts and desires, when he suddenly emitted a loud sound in imitation of the girl's object of desire: "NUUCULAR", stopping the hottie in her tracks. With passion in her eyes, she turned to him with a smoldering gaze as the produce boy began pounding on his nose to make it as red as possible and projected his lips outwardly and began grinding his jaw. The hottie began squirming in her tight skirt and form-hugging blouse, egging the produce boy on. The produce boy reached for a bag of pretzels and began stuffing them in his mouth as he bobbed his head up and down, hunched his shoulders, and he panned the grocery store with his head as he uttered the words "pun-inch-shoe-la" followed by "Eye-Rack-Key" and topped off by "food on yo family" while collapsing to the floor. She was all over him in seconds.


Jeffersons Ghost says
Suddenly the slur of produce-manager Dick Lester Chainy snapped the couple back to reality...

"BACK TO WORK, boy... do you think this corporation runs on love?" growled Chainy. As she turned her eyes toward the scowling old-man, a vision of the real power in that department set her soul ablaze. Now she knew where the real potency in the produce parlor lurked. "Yes, um, err... yes sir Mr. Chainy" stuttered the chimp-like youth. As her eyes met those of the bristling old-man, pouting lips instinctively let the name "Mr. Chainy" slip past.

Boldly, the growling master of the market replied, "My friends call me Dick Lester or Dick Less."

Perhaps other DUers will feel free to continue this sordid encounter and allow their words to sear our souls with passages of forbidden romance.
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calimary Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 05:11 AM
Response to Original message
1. Okay, you tease. Where's the link?
:rofl:
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Jeffersons Ghost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 05:43 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. that is all there was at a thread on sex dreams about bush... it died so let's revive it here...
you can have fun taking a turn or miss the fun... do whatever you want because...

FRANKLY MY DEER,

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!
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Hubert Flottz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 07:55 AM
Response to Original message
3. "I'll be GLAD to check you out over here mam" said the scruffty old
Edited on Thu Jan-25-07 08:09 AM by Hubert Flottz
man up near the racks of smutty tabloids, suggestively shaped rolls of antacids and boxes and boxes of semi-soft bubble gums..."Got plenty of die hard batteries for all your toys?" he slyly asked, as he grinned and began sliding her firm, throbbing produce, down that spinning, whirling mini conveyor, that vibrated gently against her scantily clad tummy, as she now leaned against his thrumming beeping cash register thingy, completely bathed there is that hard, bright, afternoon daylight, pouring into the store through those "hugh" storefront windows with sale signs and missing pet and missing loved one posters and notices...Suddenly she was lost in her own all consuming, sweetening, sensuous thoughts about what had almost happened back there in aisle 13 and just as suddenly, she was rudely body slammed back to reality, by the old man who'd been checking her out, when he breathlessly asked her in an odd, almost lusty, semi-guttural voice, "Arragghrrorwr...would you like paper or plastic?"

The scruffy old man went on to tell her, that he'd once been the pResident's political brain, but that after he'd finally gotten out of prison, he'd been lucky enough to land this great job here at War-Mart!
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CrazyOrangeCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 09:27 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. "Arragghrrorwr . . . would you like paper or plastic?"
:spray:
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rug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 10:24 AM
Response to Reply #3
6. With growing disdain, she realized his zipper was undone.
With growing revulsion, she realized that tumescence was not a banana in his pants.
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Jeffersons Ghost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 10:56 AM
Response to Reply #6
7.  As her mind wanders back to hearing of the rape of Lady Justice, she realizes it is too small...
No banana is that small she muses, as she feels the pickle-like protuberance, pulsing against her leg. First Lady Liberty, then Lady Justice had fallen before this ancient beast: Would she be next? With a surly snarl Dick Less screams, "all they'll get is plastic-bags from my plant in RED CHINA," as he began slowly jerking his tiny gherkin. Still the ungainly chimp-like youth stared in awe over the superior size of his brutish boss.
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rug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 12:23 PM
Response to Reply #7
12. She stepped back gingerly to avoid the inexorable outburst
only to find herself stepping over a gnarled troll named Morris who was trying to remove her shoes.
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Jeffersons Ghost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 12:20 PM
Response to Reply #3
11. here's a picture for Hubert's contrabution...
Edited on Thu Jan-25-07 12:34 PM by Jeffersons Ghost
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CrazyOrangeCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:23 PM
Response to Reply #11
14. HA!!!
Where did you find that? Hysterical drawing . . .
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CrazyOrangeCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 09:24 AM
Response to Original message
4. "Do you think this corporation runs on love?"
:rofl:


Too funny, Ghost!
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Jeffersons Ghost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 11:07 AM
Response to Reply #4
8. True Romance, banished to the lounge, as it should be... who will set it free with one more vote?
Edited on Thu Jan-25-07 11:24 AM by Jeffersons Ghost
Will this dark side of corporate love remain chained and fallen?
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Jeffersons Ghost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 11:36 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. dark corporate love set free with a 5th on a wider audience so that they too...
can enjoy the rapture of romance writing! lol
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Jeffersons Ghost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 11:39 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. still it failed to post on the Greatest Page... how odd is that?
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fooj Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 12:29 PM
Response to Original message
13. K/R
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theNotoriousP.I.G. Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 02:30 PM
Response to Original message
15. whaaaa!
I don't have enough posts to recommend! Damn. Too funny!
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Viva_La_Revolution Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-25-07 08:57 PM
Response to Original message
16. Awwww
I was at work and missed all the degenerate fun. :(


Kick! :evilgrin:

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