Oh man, I wish I wouldn't have told my mom I don't believe in god

[Connonym]

Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut? It was so not worth getting her all upset. Now she's all upset about my soul being damned to hell. She told me to pray for faith. I'm not sure exactly how that's supposed to work. Damn I'm really acting stupid lately.

[ceile]

1. I told my mom a few years ago.

She got this look like I had just punched her in the stomach. But then she made a comment about how I must not have any morals because people get morals from religion, God , etc. I just looked at her and said "I got my morals from you. Do you think I'm bad person?" That shut her up real quick and it hasn't been discussed since.
My mom is super liberal so I think that's why she got over it so fast. I hope your mom sees that we don't need religion to be decent, honest human beings.

[MorningGlow]

4. Kind of the same experience here

I do believe in god (lots of 'em, in fact, although I perceive them as various personifications of the All), but your post reminded me of when my overly zealous Catholic aunt found out DH--well, SO then--and I were going to be married at our home--gasp!--outside!--double gasp!--instead of in a church. My comeback was, "Where's God?" "What?" "Isn't the outside world of God's making?" "Well, yes, but..." "So he isn't just in a building, right? Then there's nothing wrong with being married outside in God's creation." That shut her up for the moment, but a few days before the wedding she BEGGED me and DH to go to church the night before. Took me a while before the penny dropped--she was upset that we weren't going to receive communion and therefore the marriage wouldn't be a sacrament, and therefore we'd be living in sin. Too bad DH and I didn't subscribe to that belief.

I'm surprised she's still talking to us after we refused to baptise Jr. During Jr's first year, my brother often said to check his forehead for wet spots in case she took matters into her own hands!

:rofl:

[Connonym]

6. Did she?

My mom and dad actually did that to my nephew and didn't tell my sister about it until years later. I love my folks but they really exasperate me.

[MorningGlow]

10. I'm kind of afraid to try to find out!

:rofl:

Honestly, I don't think she'd have the cojones to actually drag an infant off to church. However, she is friends with a nun who visits her...I wonder if, when she was babysitting him (she's a backup when my more rational mother is unavailable--which, thankfully, is rarely), she "ordered in", so to speak.

If she did, it doesn't really matter. I mean, I would be REALLY mad that she went behind my back, but I consider baptism just a gesture--something symbolic, not literally that thing that saves him from hellfire or whatever. Mainly, I refused to baptise Jr. because for me and DH it would have been an empty gesture--standing in front of a priest and promising to raise our son as a Roman Catholic. Ain't gonna happen. Would've been a lie.

I'm raising Jr. as a pagan--none of that "fear of god" crap is allowed in our house. (Note: That's what my aunt ascribes to--I realize not all Catholics are like that. True Christians rock!) I've already started explaining the basics of Christianity, but I'm not going to insist that he believe it. I call Jesus a really cool guy who helped people. When he's older we'll tackle the concept "son of god or not son of god". :hi:

[Connonym]

11. My folks baptized him in the bathtub at home

The only thing that comforts me about their religious conviction is that when my dad was dying he had utter faith that was going to a better place and his acceptance of death made it hurt less for me.

[MorningGlow]

12. Yikes--really?!

Yeah, I don't begrudge anyone their faith. They believe it, it works for them--that's FINE. Or, in the words of the wiccan rede, "An' it harm none, do as thou wilt." Just don't be pushin' it on me or any other folks who don't want it.

I am proud my faith doesn't believe in proselytizin'.

[Connonym]

14. Honest to god, LOL n/t

[Taverner]

2. Some things don't need to be told to others

My brother is a Baptist minister - and honestly, I don't think telling him of my agnosticism and nihilism would help our relationship at all.

[hfojvt]

26. Nihilism.

I kinda wish you had not told me that. Nihilism is pretty evil IMO.

"Don't truth me, and I won't truth you." Vonnegut 'Sirens of Titan'

[Taverner]

27. That's not really nihilism

"Nihilism argues that the world, especially past and current human existence, is without objective meaning, purpose, comprehensible truth, or essential value"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nihilism

Basically nothing means anything - and we are essentially animals

[hfojvt]

32. So I was right.

It is evil.

I did not mean to imply that the Vonnegut quote was nihilism. Just that it seemed to fit as a rule for getting along with somebody like your brother.

I do agree, that nihilism, since it is part of the world is "without objective meaning, purpose, comprehensible truth, or essential value." How could a nihilist disagree? :P

[GoddessOfGuinness]

28. I agree, for the most part

but I have a tough time keeping my mouth shut when some fundy spouts their doctrine at me.

I can't help thinking that part of their arrogance is caused by mistakenly thinking that most people believe what they believe. They seem to feel that, because their voice is the loudest, the other voices don't count...

It reminds me of the Jesus vs. Barabbas tale.

[Arugula Latte]

30. I agree, GofG

I feel that more of us should speak out about our non-faith in fairy tales and superstitions. We need to illustrate to the arrogant religious that not everyone buys into their silly beliefs.

I also think that deep down, many of them do have a sense that it's all a bunch of hooey, and that's why they are so defensive; they're trying to convince themselves in part.

[leftofthedial]

3. pray for faith?

to what would the faithless person pray?

and what exactly would constitute prayer for a faithless person?

all the interesting people will be in "hell" anyway.

[Connonym]

5. I have to admit that I actually laughed outloud a bit when she said that n/t

[AllegroRondo]

7. "Lord, protect me from your followers"

always works for me.

[leftofthedial]

20. LOL

:rofl:

[Arugula Latte]

29. I also like this one:

"Faith is believing what you know ain't so." -- Mark Twain

[Dukkha]

8. one thing that irritates me about their self-absorbed arrogance

is they always ask people the KNOW to be atheist, agnostic, non-believers etc, to pray for them or some need of theirs. As if your non beliefs are just some front and you'll abandon it and pay to whatever deity they believe in because it's the right thing to do. give me a break :eyes:

[Connonym]

13. or worse, I think, when they say they'll pray for your soul

I'm happy to offer and receive "prayers" of kind thoughts and happy outcomes but I feel offended when someone offers to pray that god will forgive me for not believing or pray that I see the light. It seems so terribly superior. I don't even care if they "god bless connonym" in their bedtime prayer but to TELL me that they're praying for me is condescending and insulting.

I feel the need to add that I am not judging people negatively for having faith. I know there are lots of brilliant, good people who believe and it is important to them. I am happy for them that they have that. My issue is when it's used by fundamentalists as a front for hatred and intolerance. There are probably fundies who don't hate but I honestly have not yet met one.

[jmm]

39. Isn't it funny how some become more religious

when they are around those that aren't? My family never made a big deal about praying before meals on the holidays but after I let it be know I'm agnostic then "corrupted" my younger atheist cousin then it became a big deal. So now when everyone has their heads down he and I just look at each other rolling our eyes.

[Fuzz]

9. My sister said "Don't tell me you're an atheist, I read what they believe."

My father is an ordained Assemblies of God minister and she had just taught a Sunday School class and read something about atheists and their 'beliefs'.

My father says he prays for me, but not to me, to my wife. It's been over 20 years since I gave up on the torture, I mean church. ;)

[m_welby]

15. the faithful are always incredulous when they come accross athiests

It's like they can't fathom a real person (especially family)might not believe. Neither of my children were christened, have only seen the inside of a church on a couple of occasions, and can't fathom organized religion (well, one's a pagan apparently, does that count as organized?).

Sorry about your mom having problems with it, that's too bad. My Dad was rather disappointed with my decision as well, but he raised me (and my siblings) to be independant thinkers, so he only had himself to blame on that score.

[Jimbo S]

16. Tell her you would be talking only to yourself.

She told me to pray for faith.

[jobycom]

17. My dad was upset, my mom didn't comment on it. I suspect she has her own doubts.

I didn't really tell them, it was more like a serious of revelations of my cynicism over a period of time. I kind of forgot they didn't know, and didn't really think anyone could know me and not know that. Funny, but I'm surprised when I meet people who do believe. I just assume people don't.

[hfojvt]

24. sometimes I think we really don't.

Whenever some 78 year old church member gets sick, they start praying for him/her to get better. Odd that we are not in any hurry to get to heaven, and those are at the serious churches. I think most people probably do not goto church, especially young people, even if they call themselves Christian. Nor do they necessarily know that much about their faith, much less try to live it.
Are you saying that losing faith made you more cynical, or that you never had any faith to begin with?

[NewWaveChick1981]

18. When I told my mom I was agnostic in my late teens, she freaked.

She told me that I'd change my mind when I grew up and realized that God really did exist. I told her I wasn't questioning the existence of a higher being---I was just not convinced that the higher being was God as she knew it. I still haven't changed my mind, and I'm 43. She still tries to get me to go to church, but it's just not happening.

I feel your pain, sweetie. :hug: :pals:

[SPKrazy]

37. Oh Gawdess

the things that we go through.

My experience is even different from that. My mother was my Sunday school teacher when I was a child. then when she was dying of cancer she told me she was an atheist.

spent a while trying to reconcile those images of it all

:hi:

[Oeditpus Rex]

19. I can't wrap my brain around this

I don't understand why anyone would believe all that hoo-doo stuff just because it's in a book. It's like Brian and Mandy:

"Why aren't women allowed to go to stonings, Mum?"

"Because it's written, that's why."

Oh.

I guess they want you to believe what they believe so you can all go to heaven together, but my response to that would be something like, "Can't we go to the circus instead?"

[ChickMagic]

21. My mom accidentally found out

She was devastated. I just asked her if she believed that when you are saved, you are always saved. She nodded. I said, "you were there when I was saved." She's never mentioned it again.

[Lethe]

23. pretty much the same thing my mom thinks

she feels a little better about it because of the "once saved, always saved" thing

[Connonym]

25. I don't think catholics subscribe to that theory

I don't remember ever learning that and we DO have to do last rites to ask forgiveness before we die.

[Lethe]

22. my mom is a southern baptist fundamentalist

and i told her a while back that i was an atheist. She didn't believe me for a long time. She doesn't bother me anymore about it, but I think thats due to her belief that once you "accept jesus christ" you are always a "christian."

I think in the long run it was better that I told her.

[Tyo]

31. It has to be soooo much easier being an atheist when you're not from a Christian background

Or a Muslim one. Thank God I escaped all that :7

[Shine]

33. Do you believe in goddess?

:D Would that have made it any easier?

kidding.

[NNadir]

34. Been there, done that. It affected the rest of my life.

The year after I "confronted" my mother with this subject, she became very ill and died. (Obviously it wasn't because of this, but that's how it worked out anyway.

I can tell you it was an issue on her deathbed and I wished I had never told her. I probably shouldn't tell you that, but that's how it was.

Almost 30 years have passed and my religious opinions have not changed, but in my normal life, as opposed to my anonymous life here, I pretty much just stay in the closet about my atheism. My wife knows, my kids know, and a few people suspect I guess, but I don't push the matter at all.

In general, it's just not worth it, professionally or personally to go on about it.

[Jamastiene]

35. Don't worry.

You'll never beat me at the acting stupid. Actually, it's a sad day when honesty leads to such regret. I guess people just are not ready to accept each other. I have been in a similar situation regarding the subject of religion, although not with my mother (it was another family member). I finally handled it by thanking them for the kind thoughts and wishes for me and giving them a g'day. I'd suggest just living life to the fullest and wishing her the best back.

[SPKrazy]

36. Is Your Soul Damned To Hell?

how does one tell?

How does one find the soul?

I'm curious because I don't believe in a conventional God but I do think there is more to life than this. Although I read an article recently that said that even this belief may be an evolved thing as those who believed in things being "out there" had a greater chance of surviving than those that didn't think anything was "out there" because sometimes what was "out there" was a bear or something.

That's my best synopsis of the article, it was in Discovery from December and I read it in the doctor's office waiting room so I was not paying complete attention, in fact I dozed off reading it.

:shrug:

[mike_c]

38. LOL-- my parents are fundies who once quit the southern baptist church...

...because it was too LIBERAL. :rofl:

All my siblings are fundie christians, too.

I have NEVER believed in that stuff. Not for a single moment. I stopped going to church as soon as I was old enough to simply say "No." Took them a while to get it-- I had lots of compulsory "counseling sessions" with ministers, but by the time I was thirteen or fourteen they basically gave up. Now I'm a scientist, the worst form of secular humanist, and they no doubt despair for my soul. Probably not, actually-- I haven't spoken with most of them in decades.

Don't worry. Life is too rich to grieve over other people's failed expectations.

[Goblinmonger]

40. Are you my long-lost sister?

Cause that is EXACTLY how my mom would react if I ever told her. I'm not going to do that though, nope. She is 77, recently had 6 bypasses and 2 stints, and would not take to me for at least 2 years if I told her. I don't want her to die while not talking to me; that would be too much. So, I'll just keep my mouth shut. Luckily, she lives 1000 miles away and can't really travel so we always go see her and can avoid the "where's your church" bidness.

Looked at your profile, where are you in WI--I am in Packerland, too (I'm displaced from ND, hence a Vikings fan).

[Connonym]

41. Waukesha n/t

[Goblinmonger]

42. I'm up north of you in Oshkosh n/t