Jus so you all know...I probably will not feel like bouncing 'em tomorrow!

[KitchenWitch]

My son has decided to go back to Minnesota for the balance of his high school. He is leaving tonight (he finished his finals today, and is flying back to Minneapolis on the red eye with my mom).

I do know it is for the greater good, but that still does not take away the hurt I have right now.

:cry:

I can't stop crying right now.

On edit, I forgot to close my parentheses. x(

[Blue-Jay]

1. He'll be back before you know it.

:pals:

[KitchenWitch]

2. I hope so.

I am looking at this as if he is going off to college two years early.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear KitchenWitch...........

Hugs and love to you, my dear friend.........

I feel the hurt you have right now........:cry:

And I wish like crazy there could be something more I could do to really really help you.....:loveya: :hug: :loveya:


I am here if you want to talk......

[KitchenWitch]

5. I literally cannot talk right now.

I will be able to in a day or too. Right now, there is just too much sobbing.

:cry:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. Then I will wait till the weekend........

:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

33. Thank you!

I am all tore up right now.

[The Traveler]

4. I'm sorry your're feeling down, KW

I'm trying to imagine what that would feel like and I am not liking what I am coming up with.

:hug:

I could do something really stupid if that would cheer you up ... :)

[KitchenWitch]

7. I think I need to just feel it and get through it.

Thanks though!

:hug:

[The Traveler]

11. OK ...

but never underestimate the healing power of male stupidity! :)

[KitchenWitch]

12. *chuckle*

No doubt!

:7

[redwitch]

6. That is hard.

But it is good that he cares about his education, right? Hang in there. We raise them to let them go. Which we don't want to think about when they are small, or maybe we just can't comprehend the enormity of it? :hug:

[KitchenWitch]

8. He really is a fine young man

It is more about him being with his friends back in Minnesota, but the high school is very good too.

He is not the most socially outgoing person, so I think the move was just too much for him at this age (he just turned 16).

[redwitch]

10. My youngest son is 16.

He's a sweetie, and a bit shy. He would have a really hard time moving right now, socially. Will you be able to visit your son fairly often?

[KitchenWitch]

15. Yes.

My parents are taking on legal guardianship. So between me flying there, and them flying here, it will be okay. Just hard.

[redwitch]

28. As long as you can get a "fix" regularly.

I have adjusted very well to my oldest being gone. He has been in an apartment from day one of college, so he only comes home for very short visits. I always thought his leaving would be more gradual. I thought he'd be home every summer. Oh well. Every time I see him I am fine until the leaving. The physical feeling of loss makes it hard to stand upright. But then I remind myself of how happy he is and that he needs to do this and I am OK again.

[KitchenWitch]

29. Thanks, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that!

:hi:

[redwitch]

31. You are very welcome.

I feel for you, it is a hard place. You are a good mom to let him go and he will always appreciate that and love you even more for it.

[LibraLiz1973]

13. Any chance of you going back to Minnesota?

It will be fine either way
you love your son and he loves u


I send u big hugs tho- I know you need them!!

[KitchenWitch]

18. Not likely

Husband's job is here. And he likes it here (me, I mostly do not like it here, but that is another story).

[LibraLiz1973]

19. Eeek... Where are you ?

It stinks when finances force you to live somewhere you don't really want to.

[KitchenWitch]

21. SoCal

About the only thing I like about here right now is CaliforniaPeggy.

[LibraLiz1973]

27. Aww Kitch... I understand

I really, really do.

I moved from PA to SoCal in 6th grade. HATED it for the entire first year. It grew on me after that.
When we moved back to PA ten years later for family reasons... I found I hated PA. It's been 15 years and I still
am not in love with PA... but family reasons keep me here.

Such is life.


The great news is you have Peggy. Everyone loves Peggy!!
Your awesome too- give yourself an enormous hug. You deserve it.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

34. You are so dear to me.........

I can hardly express it.......And to have you say this about me....

It takes my breath away.........:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

36. ...

it is the truth. This move has been so painful.

[SPKrazy]

14. Ahhh KW

I imagine that had to be hard as hell. I don't know that I understand the "greater good" part, but I'm trusting that you do and doubt that you would move like that without thinking it through very well.

I wish him well, and you :hug: and :loveya:

[KitchenWitch]

20. I think it is important to minimize misery for teenagers

Being a teenager is hard enough, without moving across country, and not being outgoing, and having difficulties socially. That is what I meant by greater good.

I appreciate your support.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

32. That's Neat

you're a good Mom

having been through the cross country move and sounds like being a lot like your son socially at that age, I'd say if it helps him then it is a loving and big move on your part.

:thumbsup:


But very hard :hug:

[SeattleGirl]

16. I'm sorry you're hurting, honey.

I know it's hard; my daughter spent most of her growing-up years, until the middle of her junior year in high school, with her dad. I saw her often, but it was still hard.

However, we commumicated very often when I was away from her and I'm happy to say, we have a great relationship. I know it probably feels like it, but you are not losing your son. The structure of the relationship has just changed. (Please forgive me if that sounds trite; I don't mean it in that way at all.)

I know I can't say anything right now that will take the hurt away, but I'm here if and when you need to talk.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[KitchenWitch]

23. Thank you.

Letting go is a fucking bitch.

x(

[SeattleGirl]

24. Yes, it is.

:hug:

[wildhorses]

17. you are doing the right thing--

:hug:

i wish my parents would have let me done this...i still consider that decision the PIVOTAL moment of my entire life...


stay strong...he will make you proud:hug:



























and cos i think you need another one:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

25. I know it is the right thing.

I wish the right thing to do wasn't so painful.

[wildhorses]

30. letting go is the hardest part--

staying in the nest and watching them fly:hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

22. Oh KW...

I'm so sorry... :hug::beer::hug:

[KitchenWitch]

26. Thank you!

I know it will be alright. I just feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

42. It hurts just to imagine...

I wish I could give you real hugs! :hug:

[JackBeck]

35. I'll give you a pass this Friday, ya' bastard.

But I gotta take a pass as well.

We're having a farewell for a very close co-worker.

[KitchenWitch]

37. All right douchebag!

I will give you a pass as well!

:P

[JackBeck]

38. Such language!

Only douchebags talk like that.

:headbang:

[KitchenWitch]

39. spoken like a true douchebag!

:yourock:

[Connonym]

40. :hug:

:-(

[KitchenWitch]

41. ...

:hug:

Thank you!

[Midlodemocrat]

43. You are a great and selfless mom.

I have known many, many children in this circumstance and what you are doing for your son is commendable.

He'll be back home before you know it.

You are the best.

[KitchenWitch]

52. We plan on earning a lot of frequent flyer miles back and forth

I am really trying to look at it like he is going off to college early.

I will get through this, and I know he will be better off.

[merh]

44. Oh sweetie, I am so sorry.

I know that this is hard, nothing I can say could ease the heart ache.

You are in my prayers. I'm here, if you need an ear or a cyber shoulder. :pals:

:hug: :loveya:

[KitchenWitch]

53. That means more than you can ever know right now

:loveya:

[merh]

76. And I really, really mean it.

:hug: :loveya:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

45. I'm sorry, KW.

:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

54. ...

:hug:

[lildreamer316]

46. Dearest.....

breathe...


and go listen to Madonna "jump"...


and then call me..........;)

[KitchenWitch]

55. ...

:hug:

[auntAgonist]

47. It is very difficult being far away from our children ..

I know. Burn up those phone minutes, write letters, send photos and keep loving him.
You have taught him to grow up, how to look after himself, how to get what he needs, now it's time for him to practice what you preached. He'll be fine and so will you although it doesn't seem like it tonight. Cry, .. feel the hurt and then smile, ... the sun will come up tomorrow.
:hug:
:loveya:

aA

[KitchenWitch]

56. He is a wise and wonderful young man

I know he will thrive.

:hi:

[Nicole]

48. I'm sorry you are hurting

I felt the same way when mine left for college. So I know nothing I can say right now is much help with that.

So here's a hug instead. :hug:

[KitchenWitch]

57. Thanks

Hugs work.

:hug:

[leftofthedial]

49. I'm so sorry.

I know you'll miss him. I have two modes these days: me, when my daughter is with me for a couple of days every other week; and depressed-as-hell-me, when she's not.

:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

58. ...

:hug:

[Zookeeper]

50. Oh, that sounds very difficult, KW....

and I'll bet it's difficult for him, too.

It's very hard to overestimate the importance of friends for teens. My 14 year old started high school last fall and actually ended up being ill from the stress of not having classes or lunch with any of her friends (she has Type 1 diabetes, and stress makes her blood sugar rise). My 16 year old doesn't see a lot of his friends outside of school, but there is NO WAY he would be willing to change schools at this point. Even my middle-schooler has friends over every day.

Also, that's not just a move to a different high school...it's a move to a different culture. Most of my in-laws live in Orange County, my DH's niece just graduated from H.S. and, from what I can see, it would be a culture shock for a teen to move from here to there.

It sounds like you are doing the right (and brave and generous) thing for your son. If he was just starting high school it might be different. But, a sixteen year old is going through so much, realizing that their "childhood" is coming to a close, that it's hard to begrudge a kid's desire for familiar surroundings.

I hope this doesn't come across as a lecture. My heart aches for your loss, however temporary.

:hug: :hug: :hug: for you, KW.

[KitchenWitch]

59. Thanks

It is difficult, but I know it is the right thing for right now.

Does not make it any easier, but hey, both my son and I get to grow from this.

:hug:

[BlueIris]

51. Oh, poor KW.

The Lounge is where I go to read of the REAL trials of parenting, y'all. They suck.

[KitchenWitch]

60. Yes, indeed, the trials of parenting do suck sometimes

but the reward is immense.

[VenusRising]

61. I am sorry for your sadness.

Each second that ticks by is one second closer to being together again. It will happen soon.

:hug::hug:

[KitchenWitch]

65. That I know to be true!

:hi:

[Oeditpus Rex]

62. Look on the bright side

He can send you a foul ball from a Twins game. :7

:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

64. True enough!

:hi:

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

63. .

:hug:

Oh Kitchy....:grouphug: i can be a shoulder if you need one :pals:

[KitchenWitch]

67. Thank you

I may just take you up on that in the near future.

I am still too choked up to talk coherently (and apparently I am not posting coherently either - My spelling skills have left me.)

[Shell Beau]

66. Awww!!

:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

68. ...

:hug:

[bigwillq]

69. Aww...kitchy.

I am sorry he is leaving you....but what you said "I do know it is for the greater good" seems like there is something positive going on here.

Sometimes you have to let your kids fly and have them figure it out on their own.

You'll always be his momma.

:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

71. It was not an easy decision, but it was the right one.

thanks!

[Left Is Write]

70. Awwww....

With the oldest LIW child living in Minnesota (she's almost 20, though), I do know how you feel. :hug:

[KitchenWitch]

72. I am not sure which is worse for me

the sadness of having him leave, or the uncertainty of him being away from me.

[greatauntoftriplets]

73. That's a tough decision and I feel badly for you.

My cousin and her husband lived in different states for two years after a job transfer so that their daughter could finish high school in the town where she grew up and with all her friends. Unlike you, though, the towns were only about 200 miles away from each other so visiting was relatively easy.

The daughter graduated last year and my cousin is now back with her husband, though living together again full time did take a bit of adjustment.

[KitchenWitch]

74. The things we do for our families

:hi:

I just talked to my son on the phone. He had already hung out all day with one of his friends.

[Shine]

75. Oh honey, I'm sorry.

:hug: :loveya:
Wow, that's pretty huge. I totally get it. My son is 13 and I can only imagine how hard it must be to let your boy go at such a pivotal age. We only have so much time with these precious beings, afterall. You are a great Mom, though, by letting him go where he'll be happiest. It's great that your parents can take him.

In reading through this thread I'm sorry to hear, as well, that this move hasn't been the easiest for you. I'm glad you've connected with Peggy, though. It's good to have friends and, just so you know, you definitely have a friend in me, up here.

So, if you're EVER in my neck o' the woods, lemme know and let's hook up, OK??

:hug: Hang in there, sister.

[KitchenWitch]

78. I have good days and bad days here

I think, when one has lived somewhere for such a long time (Me, Minnesota since 1968), it is difficult to leave. My roots are in Minnesota, even if I was not born there.

I am starting to make some friends here, but as yet, other than Peggy, no one here is a true confidant yet.

I would LOVE to go up and visit you!

:hug:

[Shine]

82. Road trip, babe!!

:headbang:

I hear ya on the roots thang. But ya just gotta expand your vision of the tree you are.
Your roots are wherever YOU are, at Home in your heart. :hug:

[KitchenWitch]

83. Very true!

Love the photo...

:loveya:

[BarenakedLady]

77. Oh honey...

I can't even imagine. :hug:

My 9 yr old is sleeping at her friends house tonight, I feel like a piece of my heart is missing. I hope by the time they are older, I'm ready for that empty nest...

:hug: again

[KitchenWitch]

79. I really do not think, as mothers, we are ever truly "ready"

I know the piercing pain of this will subside, but right now it is hard.

:hug:

[Redstone]

80. You'll miss him. He'll miss you. That's what counts.

Redstone

[KitchenWitch]

81. Yep!

I called him on the phone last night, and sounded like a blubbering fool.

Oh well.