Send me jokes please. I am so sad

[commander bunnypants]

Still cant stop thinking about Sebastian Cattbutt. I miss him so much..

Thanks in advance

Jon

[T Roosevelt]

1. Here's one

Sorry for your loss...

A Marine was in the infirmary with most of his bones broken. His Colonel
stopped in to visit, and to find out what happened.

“Well,” explained the Marine, “the Sarge said we should use
psychological warfare. He said we should yell insults to the Iraqis
about Saddam Hussein, and when they stand up in anger, shoot ‘em. Well,
I did that. I was in my bunker and I yelled out, ‘Saddam Hussein is an
evil tyrant, a killer, and a no-good scoundrel’.”

“So this Iraqi soldier answered back. He yelled, ‘George W. Bush is a
coward, a hypocrite, and a thief’.”

“We were shaking hands in the middle of the road when a tank ran us over.”

[commander bunnypants]

2. Larf

good one

DDQM

[GoddessOfGuinness]

3. ok....

But first, here's a :hug: I'm sorry about your kitty.....

A new employee is hired at the Tickle-Me-Elmo factory, and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire plant behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides that he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Elmos all over the floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands the new employee. She has a roll of red plush fabric and a big bag of
marbles. The men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

Barely able to keep a straight face, the Personnel Manager approaches the woman and says, "I'm sorry, but I think you misunderstood me yesterday.

"Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles."

[commander bunnypants]

5. Thanks that is worth a chuckle

DDQM

[plcdude]

6. good one

very cute and it took balls to that one.

[Bluzmann57]

4. Heres an oldie. And a goodie? hmmm...

I walked into the grocery store the other day and saw G.W. Bush staring intently into the frozen juice case. I asked him what he was doing and he replied, "that can of orange juice says concentrate, so I am concentrating". OK OK so it may not be as funny the 112th time around. Sorry about your loss.

[commander bunnypants]

7. Another

What is your favorite vegetable. Mine is Ronald Regan

DDQM

[XanaDUer]

8. No jokes

But I am very sorry SCB died.

HUGS.

[MadAsHell]

9. Here's one that been around before but ...

Five-year-old Johnny comes home from school and his father asks what did you study today. Johnny replies American society but that he doesn't understand. Well, his father says it's kind of like our household. "I'm the President, your mom is Congress, the nanny is the American people, and your little brother Stevie is the future." Johnny nods and his father says "now, I want you to think about that tonight and we’ll talk about it in the morning."

Johnny goes to bed but after a few hours, he awakes to an awful smell. He gets up and discovers that Stevie has messed his pants. He walks down the hall to his parents room and finds his mother fast asleep. After failing to wake his mother, Johnny goes to the nanny’s room only to find his father in bed with the nanny. Dejected, Johnny returns to bed.

In the morning, Johnny gets to the breakfast table and his father asks him if he now understands American society. Little Johhny says, without missing a beat, "Yes, It seems that the President is screwing the American people, while the Congress sleeps, and the Future is in deep shit!!"