Because we here at DU are thinkers...

[VenusRising]

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes out of it’s butt."

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morans?

Isn’t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your bum?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can’t wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Edited to change moron to moran, because you can't spell morality without that "a".

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear VenusRising!

Oldies but goodies!

:rofl:

[VenusRising]

2. They are great for a laugh!

Thanks Peggy!

:hug:

[mykpart]

3. And while we're at it,

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?

[LostInAnomie]

4. "See that chicken there....I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes out of it’s butt."

Yeah, that was my great, great, great, great, grandfather Olaf. Lets just say he had an odd fascination with chickens that didn't stop at eggs.

Call it serendipity.

[VenusRising]

5. LOL!

"Olaf" things that come out of chicken's butts.


:spray::rofl:

[krispos42]

6. And where's the damn "Any" key?

I swear to god I still have an old IBM 286 PC running with that damn "Press any key to continue" message on the screen. It's been 16 years now, the damn message now BURNED FOREVER into the screen, and I still can't find the "any" key!!!



Where is this when I need it?!?!?!?!?

[krispos42]

7. Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

And a pair of panties but only one bra?