You know you're from NYC when...

[rbnyc]

* You think Central Park is "nature."

* You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."

* You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times.

* You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent.

* You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed.

* You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.

* Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."

* America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.

* You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

* You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.

* Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

* $50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

* Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watch seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.

* You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that it means Manhattan.

* You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills.

* You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

* You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

* Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

* The subway makes sense.

* The subway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro.

* You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

* You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.

* You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple."

* Your door has more than three locks.

* You go to a hockey game for the fighting. In the stands. To participate.

* Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.

* The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

* You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

* You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard. You complain about having to mow it.

* You are a skee-ball juggernaut.

* You consider Westchester "Upstate."

* You cried the day Mayor Ed Koch took over for Judge Wapner.

* You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection.

http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/locality/nyc.shtml

I just had to join in. Some of these I don't agree with tho. I think New Yorkers are very friendly.

[Mass_Liberal]

1. I am a semi-new yorker

and I think these are *&#(*ing brilliant! Thanks.

[WhoCountsTheVotes]

2. "You walk faster than some people run"

"You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents." - ouch, too close to home!

[SOteric]

3. I've heard it said that New Yorkers are friendly, but

not polite. Whereas Seattlites are polite, but not friendly. I know it's true for us, -how 'bout you?

[Kathy in Cambridge]

5. I would agree with you there

NYers are pretty friendly but are very in-your-face. Seattlites are reserved and polite.

Bostonians are ruder than NYers, IMO.

[Gretchen]

4. car???

What car? Who in NYC has a car? Between the $1200/month studio rent and the $5 beers- who can afford it? - or need it with cabs and subways?

[nostamj]

6. you know you'r'e a NYC'r if...

you've haven't driven a car in over 20 years

[LuLu550]

20. welcome to DU, Gretchen!

I'm with you...what real New Yorker has a car?????
:bounce:

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. Food feels like it's free once you leave the city

I love going home to WI and saying to my friends "this round of cocktails is on me!" because I know it's only going to be like $12 for four of 'em. :-) My Bombay Sapphire martini was $4 last week. HA HA HA!! You can't even get spit on for $4 in NYC. Took my sister out to lunch for prime rib sandwiches and fries and two drinks - "That'll be $11, please". The cost of food seems irrelevant.

[Name removed]

8. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[ronnykmarshall]

10. Same goes for an ex-San Franciscan.

[aquart]

9. And what color do we wear?

"Black--until something darker comes along."

PS: That list sounds like it was written by a tourist.

You know you're from NYC when:

You never have to ride home with a drunk driver because there's always a cab, a bus, or a subway. All. Night. Long.

If you run out of milk at 2 am, you can walk outside and buy it.

You can pay designer prices on Madison Avenue, or you can buy the designer clothes at the Salvation Army, or Salvation Armani (Housing Works Thrifts), or the Lighthouse Posh Sale.

When you see someone in an elevator who looks like Sylvester Stallone, or crossing the street who looks like Susan Sarandon, or sitting in the center of your row at Lincoln Center who looks like Madonna, it is.

The menus beside your phone are for Chinese, Mexican, Thai, Italian, Japanese, Indian, Tibetan, Arabic, English, French, Diner, Barbecue, and Cuban food.

When the recipe calls for vanilla, you have to decide between Mexican, Madagascar Bourbon, or Tahitian.

The homeless men on your front steps are always there to carry your bags or lug the easy chair you just found on the street.

You know eye contact isn't always aggression. Sometimes it's much more fun.

You can stop and talk to anyone about anything...especially if they're walking a dog.

[flama]

11. Oooh, I like your list!

It almost makes me want to move to NYC - if I could afford the rent, stand the cold, and bring my dog. (He wouldn't mind the cold and doesn't give a hoot about housing prices.)

[Crowdance]

13. Oh, yes! Your list is the one.

I love it here. We are in the best place on the planet.

[Rabrrrrrr]

19. Like I always tell my friends back home, "What do you mean I don't

wear color? I wear gray sometimes."

[rbnyc]

23. Your list is better!

:)

I just posted the first list that came up on google.

:hi:

[DinahMoeHum]

12. Westchester "upstate"?? Moi ??

They probably refer to people beyond the Catskills as rednecks.

:evilfrown:

[LuLu550]

21. when I lived on Long Island we thought anything north of Westchester

was upstate. Now I live in Albany and "upstate" is the Adirondacks.

[mobuto]

30. Not Dutchess County!

They're not our kind, dear.

[flama]

14. I won't take this list point by point - BUT

Central Park *is* nature. It was intended to be anyway.

I always get lost in New Jersey - and one time in Brooklyn.

East of the Hudson, "the city" *is* Manhattan. (West of the Hudson, Manhattan may be a drink.)

I openly admire the driving skills of Manhattan cabbies.

Doesn't the "Do Not Walk" sign mean run when it's flashing?

I know that's not enough to make the little finger of my left hand a New Yorker. That's OK. I'm still a tourist who hasn't been to the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, or Ellis Island. But, thanks to you, I've been to Alphabet City, the Bowery, and the Guge.

:loveya:

Ma

P.S. There's only one lock on my door, but behind it stands a 124-pound convicted biter of a guard dog. He's probably barking a warning that the person outside is getting too close to stepping on his toes.

[aquart]

15. The Guge?

[flama]

24. The Guggenheim,

dear aquart, the Guggenheim Museum.

It's a wonderful white spiral filled with art. It was well worth the subway ride and the walk to get there. Passed a guy sleeping in a cardboard box. If you've got to sleep in a box, you should pick a good neighborhood. ;-)

Had my first New York pizza on the way home. Nothing like Chicago pizza, but it filled the void and beat Pizza Hut by a hundred miles.

[aquart]

25. Ah. Went once. Got dizzy.

Never again.

[markses]

16. Brooklyn is in New York City

Someone may want to remind the list maker.

Moreover, if you want to meet people who actually grew up in New York City (rather than, say, Minnesota), you're better off going to Brooklyn, or Queens, or the Bronx (fuck Staten island). Very few of these folks in Manhattan itself! ;-)

[rbnyc]

22. Yeah, that's one of the ones that bothered me.

Also, all the stuff about having a car.

[aquart]

26. Nonetheless, my Mom always gets lost in Brooklyn. ALWAYS.

My grandfather lived in Brooklyn, and she could never find the place without driving around in circle for half an hour or more.

Brooklyn is definitely a road trip.

[mobuto]

31. Brooklyn is Brooklyn

New York is Manhattan.

Tell that to your boys in the outta borroughs. And don't get me started on Richmond. That's another planet.

[baldguy]

17. Houston ain't a city in Texas.

- It's called Sixth Ave, no matter what the signs say.

- "Upstate" is a foreign country.

- NYC is the center of the universe.

[sleipnir]

18. Just moved here and it's so true! HA!

I'd add these for fun!


---You've triple parked at least once on 1st Ave.

---You've had to threaten to call the Hotline to get the cabbie to take you to Queens.

---You know where all the good $5 Lunch specials are

---Don't worry about recycling, a homeless person will pick it up.

---You dread the phrase "We apologize for the unavoidable delay" when riding the 4/5 Train

---You don't blink an eye paying nearly 9% in sales tax

[Lydia Leftcoast]

27. As one who lived within reach of NYC for nine years:

may I add:

1) If you use your turn signal when changing lanes, it only confuses people.
(There was one year when I drove down from Ithaca to attend the ballet and opera with my boyfriend, who came in from New Haven, so yes, I have driven in Manhattan, although I don't recommend it.)

2) If you see skinny women shouldering tote bags and waddling down the street with their toes at 45 degrees from normal position, you know that they are ballet dancers.

3) You can tell whether a street is safe by looking at it.

4) If you tell an ethnic joke, there is sure to be a member of said ethnic group (no matter how obscure) within earshot. (This happened when my boyfriend's tasteless roommate accompanied us on a weekend trip to N.Y.)

5) You stand "on line," drink "regular coffee" with cream and sugar, and expect chocolate ice cream in your chocolate soda.

6) If you have a headache, you make sure the whole world suffers for it. If you are happy, you want the whole world to celebrate with you.

7) When you are in college, you declare that you will never accept a job outside the Boston-Washington corridor.

[camero]

28. Are you tawkin to me? You tawkin to me?

Does his best Robert DeNiro imitation. :)

[flama]

29. That was pretty good

Now, you want to grow your fingernails and peel an egg in Louisiana?

:evilgrin: