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Okay, so it's a maybe little male/female bashing; every now and then it's allowed, I think...
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1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION ( ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male: A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want, just as long as we get do 'it'.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
AND THEN ~
He said - I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said - You wear underwear don't you?
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said - How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said - I don't know; it has never happened.
She said - Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring *and* good-looking?
He said - They already have boyfriends. :spray:
She said - What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?
He said - A widow.
He said - Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said - Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
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