Gentlemen DUers, CONFESS! Who among you has gotten a vasectomy?

[Ellen Forradalom]

In my birth-control advice thread, a lot of people suggested that Mr. Forradalom get the snip. He says, "Well, ask your DU friends if they've gotten a vasectomy!"

So 'fess up! Who's gotten the snip?

edit for subject-verb agreement (sigh)

[nostamj]

1. gay men need vasectomies

like a fish needs a bicycle

:shrug:

[musiclawyer]

7. I did it.

Wasn't too bad after as few hours of discomfort and a few days taking it easy. I'm "up" to the job just as before.

[Doctor Pedantic]

2. Yes, I've Been Neutered

I wanted two kids...my wife wanted three....she got her way. To prevent her from upping the ante, I had my vasectomy on the day of the ultrasound for kid number 3!

Tell the Mr. if he actually follows his doc's advice and stays off his feet for 24 hours (applying lots of ice), he'll be fine. He'll feel like getting up much sooner, but my friends who did all regretted it. I stayed in bed with books, magazines, my laptop and my cell phone, and recovered easily and quickly.

[SmileyBoy]

3. I can't have one. I'm a virgin.

I'm waiting for the day when either I'm lucky enough to get a girl, or when I'm able to spring $200 for a classy hooker.

[Bozola]

4. Best pun ever..but it requires a little science...

I had a geology prof, named Jim, a long time ago, who would amble up to the podium after the botany lecture and would inform us of the epochs of the earth.

One day after a particulary rousing monologue about pines, Jim came up to the podium and said "ever since I had my vasectomy, I've been known as Jim-No-Sperm".

It's my experience that all geologists are terrible punners.

[shawn703]

15. Still that is kinda funny n/t

[Ellen Forradalom]

17. Reminds me of the systems programmer

who had testicular cancer. After his testicles were removed, he said, "Now I'm really a UNIX programmer."

[NickB79]

34. Am I officially a nerd because I understood that?

lol

[rasputin1952]

5. Got he Big "V" back in '88...

didn't make a whole lot of difference though; my testicles have since turned to dust, (due to age, and lack of use)! Guess I'll have to buy steroids by the barrel!

)8)

[burythehatchet]

6. Not me ... but the funniest billboard I ever saw

was for a vacsectomy center. It said...

BUSES WELCOME....DRIVERS FREE

[RUexperienced]

8. My friend got a vasectomy an his balls swelled up like two softballs

stuffed into a nylon sock.

Thus, it took me years to finally agree to get one. When I did finally get snipped, the doc had to work me over pretty good on my right side. I told him to give me plenty of vicodin and went straight to the DRIVE THRU pharmacy to fill it.

"We don't fill first prescriptions through the drive through," the young attendant told me.

"Look, I just got a vascetomy. I am driving my car home with a sack of frozen peas in my crotch and I can't come in. If you force me to come in the store, I guarantee you will regret it."

After getting the manager, my prescription was filled.

That weekend my family watched all three Back to the Future movies and both Terminator movies.

And the big pain never came.

I never felt a thing.

[MrSlayer]

9. No, I had the wife fixed instead.

No one is coming near my scrotum with a blade of any sort. I have a couple of friends who have had it done and they tell me they've lost their sexual staying power because of it. Anyone else have that problem?

[Bake]

10. Ain't nothin but a snip

And as for that "nobody's coming close to my scrotum with a blade," I said the same thing, so I decided to have 'em put me UNDER for it. Wake me up when it's over. A little discomfort and a couple of ice packs, and I was fine. No adverse effects at all (well, except for when my son jumped into my lap knees first the next day ...).

And it's a far less risky procedure than for a woman to have her tubes tied.

Bake

[KCDem]

16. and MUCH less expensive.

Hubby's gonna have to get clipped, but so far, he's refused.

[Padraig18]

11. Keep your bloody knives away from my manhood!

Bloody knife-happy Yanks--- glad I was born in Ireland, where they DON'T cut off an inch before they know how big it will be! :P

[La_Serpiente]

12. lol

don't be flying that shear in my direction :-)

[Padraig18]

13. OOoooOoOOoooo!

Do tell! ;)

[CanuckAmok]

27. Ha Ha! Ireland/Birth control...

As soon as I read your post I thought of that sketch from "Monty Python's Meaning of Life":

(THUMP!) "Oh, would you get that for me, Dierdre?"

[sendero]

14. I had one....

... and the procedure itself was anything but a pleasant experience. It felt like the good doctor was trying to shove my testes over to places they were never meant to go. Very uncomfortable. Recovery wasn't too bad, so long as the sight of a black/blue scrotum is not unsettling to you.

I've noticed no sexual side effects, and medical studies don't support the idea that there are any. Testosterone production is not affected.

There is a side effect that most would probably not care about. In the spirit of good clean fun I will not mention here :)

[Skittles]

20. HEY DESEO

ONE OF THESE DAYS THE LADIES OF DU WILL GIVE YOU GUYS A DETAILED DESCRIPTION OF A GYNO EXAM. :o

[sendero]

22. Uh....

... did I complain? Really? LOL. Well, my wife has mentioned the unparalleled comfort and pleasantness of a gynecological exam and it sounds even worse than those annual prostate exams I get :)

Each gender has its crosses to bear. I'm glad I'm male tho, no doubt about it :) All told, I suppose I'm glad I got a vasectomy, because I don't wish to have more children and I don't care for that "other" method of birth control at all.

[populistmom]

18. My husband has

Apparently 4 hyperactive, brainy, little Irish (well, 1/2 Irish, since I'm not) kids is enough.

No problems and he was fully functional within 24 hours.

[Skittles]

19. My coworker told me her husband refused to get a vasectomy

"because it might hurt". I screamed at her YOU'VE HAD SIX F***ING KIDS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A man whining about "pain" to woman who has given birth SIX TIMES !!!!!!!

[Deja Q]

21. I found a better way for birth control

It's called being a homosexual! :D

I'd probably do the snip-snip anyway, actually... if I wanted to, uh, 'experiement' (not likely), I wouldn't want to create any mini-Toads. :D

[Ellen Forradalom]

23. Yes, that does work like a charm

but I married a person of the opposite boot camp, so no such luck. :-(

[ironflange]

24. I've had it done

We had our two kids, one of each, and since Mrs. Ironflange wasn't getting any younger, what with Pill dangers to middle-age women, I decided to show a little responsibility for once in my life. It wasn't a big deal, I just wish the doctor hadn't continually gushed on about how its size and shape were so perfect. :evilgrin:

edit: This was using the new technique that uses no incision, but rather just punches a little hole. I was a bit sore for a couple of days, but nothing serious.

[jukes]

25. Vasectomy

Had mine @ 30; 1 child & an unpleasant divorce made that decision easy!


:cry:

[CanuckAmok]

26. Yup...

Mrs. Amok and I are advocates of ZPG. When I met her, and discovered her conviction to no reproduce, I knew I had found my soul-mate.

I had my vasectomy at age 29. The most difficult part was convincing my GP to approve the procedure. She refused, so I came back a second time a month later, and insisted that's what I wanted.

She finally consented to a referral to a urologist, despite her protests.

The procedure was so simple, and virtually painless. I noticed, however, that the chair/bed I was on during the procedure was literally soaked with my own sweat afterwards. But all for nothing, as two days with a bag of frozen peas stuffed down my pants was all the recuperation I needed. It was so unbelievably easy, and I've never, ever regretted my decision. I can't even find the scar.

BTW, without getting too graphic, I can assure any of you who are wondering that everything looks, feels, and (I'm told) tastes exactly the way it did before. There's absolutely no difference in anything after the procedure (except Mrs. Amok doesn't need BC anymore).

[101 Proof]

28. Never got one...

I'm still a virgin, so I have no worries about getting a chick pregnant. Like northwest said above, I think I may buy a classy hooker. I am definitely getting fed up with this whole virginity thing. I think I may explode!

I am never going to put any type of knife down by my balls...not for any woman! Nothing down there will ever be cut!

Anyways, my dad got one back in 1984. After his third kid, my sister, he and my mom decided that was enough.

[Ellen Forradalom]

30. You may revisit that conviction

years down the road when you've got a houseful of kids. Suddenly a little procedure in a personal place seems trivial, for the benefit involved.

[101 Proof]

31. Man....

I'm not having kids ever. I can't stand anything that whines, shits, and hold you down all day.

I'll just stick with condoms, spermicides, and such down the road...even though they aren't 100% effective. I'll take my chances... :)

[Ellen Forradalom]

32. Now wait a sec

How do you reconcile not having kids ever with using methods that aren't 100% effective? It's not adding up.

[put out]

29. I've offered to do a couple of them for free.

Scissors, needle and thread at hand. No takers, though.

I even had whiskey and a bullet to bite on.

[Snow]

33. I used to help the health center doc do 'em when I was in Peace Corps,

since they liked to use my desk as half the operating table. We got into this competition thing with the Family Care Chief (the birth-control program) as to who could do faster vasectomies. I think 7 minutes was the record from first cut to final stitch (and no cheating on number of stitches, either.)

[Hogarth]

35. I got one in '97 ...

... and my memory of the ordeal could be summed up with a line from Monte Python: "Nobody ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

That doctor was brutal, what with the stabbing and tugging and blood all over the table. Time heals all wounds, though, I guess, and I hardly ever think about that slice of hell's pizza, any more.

I wrote a check for the procedure, gimped out to the car, and never kept the follow-up appointment. I'll masturbate into a plastic cup for no one.

At 50, my eyesight trumps all other health concerns, so, tomorrow I have to go in for an eye exam to get new lenses. Then I'll be able to read my computer screen. = )

[REP]

36. My Ex Had One

and walked home from the procedure. He said the worst part was shaving his scrote. He was a little swollen for a day, but he insisted it was no big deal.