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So tonight I got stuck behind Farmer Freeper

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Mick Knox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 01:12 AM
Original message
So tonight I got stuck behind Farmer Freeper
I was driving on a pretty straight local 2 line highway when I came upon the old 19Sevethy Something Pickup choking its way at a cool 46 MPH (speed limit 55, most do 65-70). The NRA Sticker, The Bush-Cheney O4 sticker, We shall Not Forget, faded old Flag sticker, the whole works. He has a goat tied in the back. It was like some surreal freeper nightmare. I am probably tailgating a little too close, and have a little bit of freeper induced road rage.

He brake checks me!!!

OK, that was a close one but I'm ready now. As pissed as I am I decide I'm going to pass his ass and get away. Its broken line and legal too pass, I accelerate, and that Freeper Bastard starts driving his old piece of environment slandering crap down the middle of the road - slower! I cannot pass. I am stuck.

This goes on, brake checking, a dangerous game of chicken from behind, for about 7 miles. Finally we enter a small town and he pulls over near a liqour store, doubtless to buy some 2-buck chuck for his night of ravaging the goat - and I cannot let him get away with it - so I stop next to him, nauseous from the fumes.

The freeper McFarmer gets out of his truck - Hes pretty damn big. Smiles at me with his tobacco blackened teeth. I start yelling at him calling him, names, even "Freeper", which I doubt he even knows what it means - telling him he needs to pull his head out of his ass - and he flips me off! Not a good flip off, one of those ones with a tight fist and finger protruding out.. good lord freepers cant even flip you off good.

"Fuck you commie"

I just got out of there before he tackled me and decided kick my ass and ravage me in between love sessions with his goat.

Gawd I hate freepers.
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 01:26 AM
Response to Original message
1. *yawn*
Bounce.
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Mick Knox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 01:37 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. what's bounce?
Probably did have to be there though.
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 07:58 AM
Response to Reply #1
13. Bouncy Bouncy
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donheld Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 01:39 AM
Response to Original message
3. Why do you think he had his wife tied in back?
:shrug::evilgrin:
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Mick Knox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 01:52 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. I dunno
I figure all freepers probably take their dates out on a drive in their old trucks. Really gets them 'necks going.
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 02:19 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. I drive an SUV with 144,000 miles and a cracked grill (from a deer) and a rusted trailer hitch.
I'm not a freeper. Some dumbass deer just ran out of a farmfield into my jeep and I need to be able to tow ATVs and boats around. I've driven my girlfriend around in it, too.

A vehicle is a vehicle. I doubt old trucks get the 'necks going.
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 01:51 AM
Response to Original message
4. You lost me
when you admitted you were tailgating.

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Crabby Appleton Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 05:39 AM
Response to Reply #4
11. same here
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 08:00 AM
Response to Reply #11
14. Yup
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DainBramaged Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 02:27 AM
Response to Original message
7. Commie huh, should have asked if he was getting the wife a bottle
and why she was tied up in the back.
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specimenfred1984 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 02:37 AM
Response to Original message
8. They infest my area
I watched one the other day as he and his fat wife infected a NTW (tire seller). I observed them the way a scientist observes things under a microscope, with a curious interest in how such a thing came into existence.

They looked really unhappy which was no surprise, they're misfits among real human beings.
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Mick Knox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 02:54 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. Art to them is Larry the Cable Guy Pictures everywhere
and beer can shelves.

They are a unique species.
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 05:37 AM
Response to Original message
10. you know it just occured to me --
carry spare stickers -- and if you can -- if it's convenienent -- follow a jerk like that to a 7-11 or something and paper over his stickers.

THEN ream him out as you pass him on the road.

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conscious evolution Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 07:54 AM
Response to Original message
12. next time call the cops on him
What he did endangers public safety.
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 08:02 AM
Response to Reply #12
15. As does tailgating
I hates me some tailgaters, and I also brake check them.

And I'm a card-carrying Democratic Socialist who drives a very fuel efficient VW Golf TDI.

And, my GF isn't a goat, but rather a smart, funny, and sexy liberal.
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