What Happens After Death?

[MoseyWalker]

I think there is a parade with giant cartoon balloons, a huge party where all our earthly wishes are granted, we get to meet Spongebob, we are presented with a lifetime achievement award from all of the friends we ever had, and then we take a nap. I'm a little unsure about what happens on the second day, but the first day sounds good.

What do you think?

[Critters2]

1. I never speculate about things I don't know about

unlike the vast majority of my colleagues.

[MoseyWalker]

5. but don't you ever wonder?

and hope that you'll finally get to be able to do something that eluded you in life? Why not speculate? It's all we've got!

It may be somewhat dumb, but it could be fun! Hope is a good thing!

I can wait for the parade, but it doesn't stop me from looking forward to it!

[Critters2]

7. I do wonder. Mostly I hope I'll see people I love--

my mom, my grandparents, my pets. But I get tired of Christians insisting they KNOW what it'll be like. Scripture says Jesus came back and spent time teaching his disciples afterwards, but even then didn't talk about what it was like. He just kept teaching how to live an ethical life. That's most important.
Too many people insist they know things they don't.

[LaraMN]

2. We're processed and sold at Wal-Mart as "pork rinds."

:D

[MoseyWalker]

6. I think about that periodically, and worry

NOT!

:rofl:

although, stranger things have happened...........

[krispos42]

3. Taxes n/t

[MonkeyFunk]

4. I believe

John Basedow greets us and then all the animals we ever ate take their revenge.

[Critters2]

9. Fitness Celebrity John Basedow?!! Wow!! nt

[MoseyWalker]

11. I was wondering who JB was and

am now afraid to go to sleep lest the animals I used to eat come back to haunt me. They won't bother me in my dreams, right? It's just after the big sleep thing?

shivers

[HughBeaumont]

8. I don't know. Usually, they headlined.

RIP Chuck.

[Lautremont]

10. If we're good, we go to the eternal ball room.

If we're bad, we have to browse aisles and aisles of cheap Scandanavian furniture.

[redwitch]

40. Oh that's just great!

I am a lousy dancer. And I hate Ikea- I am afraid of getting trapped there already, eternity? Yech!

[mockmonkey]

12. You sit behind a giant desk

and there is a phone on that desk. You have to talk into that phone and you must answer ten simple questions to get to Heaven. The "Being" you must answer to is very busy so the "Being" uses a voice recognition program. You spend the rest of eternity not getting it to understand anything you say.

I spent today trying to talk to such a "Being" concerning my Cobra insurance.:nuke:

[terrya]

13. A lot of inactivity.

[YankeyMCC]

14. Same stuff that went on before you were born

;)

[av8rdave]

15. I think George Carlin once said that your soul goes to a garage in Buffalo

[Oeditpus Rex]

29. 'Dr. Timothy Leary's brother, Really Leary

today formed a new religion that advocates when you die, your soul goes to a garage in Buffalo." :7



I rather like your concept of Frisbeeism, though. :rofl:

[av8rdave]

59. That was it...I had forgotten a lot of the routine

[Oeditpus Rex]

60. It's from one of his 'news' bits

Probably "The 11 O'Clock News" on "FM & AM."

[catmandu57]

16. We go far far away into another part of the cosmos

Where we begin a new existance as something else until that is up then we get flung off into another part of the cosmos rinse repeat rinse repeat.

[Art_from_Ark]

55. What? No lather?

[KG]

17. sounds like what miami has in mind when castro kicks the bucket

[crim son]

18. I meet everybody I ever wanted to and we are all fine friends

and also I have the voice of a goddess. Really, it would bring tears to your eyes.

[SteppingRazor]

19. Decomposition

n/t

[ContraBass Black]

52. Seconded.

[Burma Jones]

20. You get a mint.......

[Shine]

26. LOL!

:rofl:
chocolate covered, I hope.

[Kali]

21. Without preservation, diagenesis.

Decomposition, cycling of nutrients, carbon etc.

[formerrepuke]

22. You get to put on your resume.."bore mortal coil for xx years"

[unsavedtrash]

23. I just hope it involves a blissful, uninterrupted nap.

If I can have that then I think I can deal with what might come next.

[Conan_The_Barbarian]

24. The answer is 42

[Shine]

25. The body decays, people left behind are sad, the soul lives on....

exactly HOW it lives on is unclear, but it sounds good to me.
:D

[MoseyWalker]

27. Just so it doesn't become

a Swiffer. I couldn't bear to be a Swiffer.

[Shine]

30. Yeah, that would suck.....or is it wipe?

:rolf:

[cloudbase]

28. The eternal question

[CaliforniaPeggy]

46. Welcome to DU, my dear cloudbase!

Enjoy your stay in our crazy, addictive little village!

:hi:

[cloudbase]

57. Thank you,

though I was crazy long before I got here.

[SPKrazy]

31. Worm Food

as to anything else I don't know

energy can neither be created nor destroyed so I figure the energy in a body goes somewhere

the decomposed body grows food to feed other animals

:shrug:

[sarge43]

32. Or we spend eternity back in junior high school. n/t

[trof]

33. Nothing. Zero. Nyet. Nada. You cease to exist, physically, mentally..

In the memories of those near and dear, hopefully.
But 'you' are...just...gone.

[Mojambo]

35. That's what I'm going with. n/t

[trof]

36. All evidence points to this.

[Oeditpus Rex]

34. Extra innings

[AlienGirl]

37. I think we lather, rinse, and repeat.

[SammyWinstonJack]

38. Some of us shouldn't. bushco comes too mind.

:scared:

[AlienGirl]

39. "Boy, he's gonna feel THAT one in the morning!"

[The Traveler]

41. I agree

We get a vacation, and then we get thrown back into the mix master for the next ride.

[u4ic]

54. That's my belief, too

[Ariana Celeste]

66. Same here

:hi:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

42. We rot in the earth like every other living thing.

Why should it be any different for humans?

:dilemma:

:P

[gemdem]

43. It's either...

Soylent Green or "the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out..."

Either way it's a guess. :shrug:

[swag]

44. Mercifully little.

"And so it is that we, as men, do not exist until we do; and then it is that we play with our world of existent things, and order and disorder them, and so it shall be that Non-existence shall take us back from Existence, and that nameless Spirituality shall return to Void, like a tired child home from a very wild circus."

Principia Discordia

[dysfunctional press]

45. we cease to exist.

one ride per person, no after party.

and the sooner people grasp that and get it through their heads, the sooner civilization might have a chance to advance.

[amitten]

47. No one will ever know until they're dead.

Why even bother wondering?

[momophile]

48. we go somewhere and process what we just went through

maybe debrief with a support group or something. and then compare it to our previous lives. then we get ready (take a shower, dress?) to go on to the next life. then we go. busy busy busy!

[Orrex]

49. Heck, what happens *before* death?

I'm still working that one out.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

50. Life goes on.

I'll be back. I hope I don't come back as a mealworm. That would suck.

[ContraBass Black]

51. Ask me when I'm dead.

[Redstone]

53. Just "lights out." So enjoy each day that you have before then.

Redstone

[LostInAnomie]

56. The local repuke mortician violates your corpse.

It's natures way.

:evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

58. On DU, you can be sure

that someone will osmoregulate on your grave while you're still warm, and do so with special glee if you don't actually deserve it.

No good life goes unpunished, here.

[Arugula Latte]

61. Nuttin'

Lights out, you up and die. Then you're dead. The end.

[Taverner]

62. The exact same thing that happened before I was born n/t

[otherlander]

63. After death,

your body gets turned into oil. Plants get turned into coal, and eventually, pressed to diamond. And so, in the future, a rich lady will wear the weeds I pulled out of my garden, set in gold on her finger, and I will be dumped into her furnace. :hi:

[Wapsie B]

64. St. Peter meets you at the pearly gates

with an ice-cold 12-pack and we go on a tour of the land of the hearafter, drinking and shoot'n the shit. I'm stopping by the brothel first.

:evilgrin:

[Arugula Latte]

68. But do you have to listen to a time-share spiel first?

That would suck ...

[Wapsie B]

69. Yeah I hate those time-share sales pitches.

No, I think it's more like a realtor tour of homes.

[NNadir]

65. You stop worrying.

[madinmaryland]

67. I think your body will release your bowels.