***** An update on my dad *****

[dpbrown]

Original Thread here:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=6090111

I just got back from about a week in Florida with my mom and brother and sister visiting with my mom and seeing my dad in the hospital.

The week has been at turns exasperating, relieving, stressful, and fun.

Shortly after we all arrived in Florida, my dad began suffering seizures (not physical, because of the place where his hematoma was, but awareness-based) due to the brain trauma of the hematoma and its removal. Since then he has been medicated with anti-seizure medicine, which itself has caused symptoms. At first, he couldn't stay awake, and when awake, was not oriented and was very confused. He often didn't know who we were or where he was. They changed his anti-seizure medicine and he was less sleepy, but still not very oriented to time and place. To complicate things, it was the weekend and his neurologist was off for the weekend. He spent the weekend in a Cardiac Step-down unit, where they didn't really know how to focus on his brain trauma. While in seizure or confused, he pulled out first his central line, and later his IV, determined to leave the unit and go home. Since then he has also had some problems with aspirating thin liquids, and has to be on a special puree diet.

On Monday, we did get to see his neurologist again, and he told us that dad's condition, fading in and out of awareness, had a name and was not uncommon in people of his age. He called it "waxing and waning" and told us that the seizures were not unexpected and were being brought under control by the medicine. The neurologist told us he was "90% out of the woods" and that the focus on his time now was going to be "nursing him out of the hospital." We were very encouraged by his assessment. My brother had to go back home first. My sister left Monday at mid-day, and I came home late last night.

We are still praying for dad and hoping for the best, and I want to thank all the people here at DU who offered kind words and thoughts for my dad.

He's a very special man and I hope we have him with us for a long time to come.

Thanks again.

dpbrown

[SeattleGirl]

1. Happy to hear your dad is getting better, dp

Good thoughts to him for him continued recovery.

[bigwillq]

2. Hope he makes a full recovery.

All the best. :hug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

3. I am sending you my prayers.

Everything will take time. Trust me, I know. You have our support. The DU gave me lots of support everytime I needed it.

[dpbrown]

4. **** The last, and saddest update on my dad ****

I was in Florida for several days while my dad was in the hospital. They thought he was getting better and going to move into rehab, so we all came back home. He went rapidly downhill and died on Saturday. I've been a little too distraught to concentrate.

Services will be either later this week or early next. I will go down to my family's hometown in Wis. early to help set up things for a memorial service. I'll probably stay around to help mom for a little while. She will probably stay in Wis. for a while or maybe for the year, except for when we have to travel to Florida to settle the estate.

Please pass this news along to whomever you think should know.

Thanks to all who sent kind wishes.

dpbrown

[Lars39]

5. My deepest condolances, dpbrown.

:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

6. My sincere sympathy!

:hug:

[mvd]

7. That's sad

My condolences, dpbrown.

[mentalsolstice]

9. A lot of sad news lately in the lounge

I'm so sorry for your loss. However, the good memories are yours to keep forever.

[SeattleGirl]

10. Oh, dp, I am so sorry to hear thisl.

My condolences to you and your family. :hug:

[wildhorses]

11. i am sorry for your loss dpbrown

:hug: my condolences to your family and my prayers that you may find comfort in his memory

[gemdem]

12. Deepest sympathy

I'm truly sorry for your loss.

[Haole Girl]

13. I'm so sorry

:hug:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

14. Oh, Dan, I'm so sorry

:hug:

I'll pass the word along.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

15. So sorry!

My condolences on the loss of your dad. It's really tough to lose a parent. :hug:

[lavenderdiva]

16. oh dpbrown, I'm so sorry to hear of your dad's passing

I have been reading your updates, and was hoping that his situation would improve. Your love for him was very apparent in your posts. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers in the difficult time. :hug: :cry: :hug:

[LadyoftheRabbits]

19. I'm very sorry...

:hug:

[madrchsod]

20. peace be with you and your family

[auntAgonist]

21. I am so sorry to hear of your Father's passing.

My condolences to you and your family. :hug:

Please look after yourself.

aA

[Zookeeper]

22. I'm so sorry to hear that you've lost him, Dan....

You had sounded so hopeful.

My deepest sympathy to you and your family....:hug: :hug:

Zookeeper

[kickysnana]

23. Condolences.

My heart goes out to you. My 81 year old Dad's car stalled a few blocks from home last week and he was rearended by a drunk driver who is still in critical condition. Both cars were totaled. My Dad sustained some cuts and bruising but is OK.

After the shock of almost losing him wore off came the realization of having to decide what would we do about Mom if something happend to him. She is now housebound with her COPD. Dad has been doing most of the cleaning, shopping, chauffering. and laundry. I am still not totally upacked after having an unplanned move after my Aunt's stroke in June.

Our parents and grandparents etc had already fought and won these battles that should have allowed us to take care of our family rather than haviung to fight to keep our rights, economic justice, access to healthcare and freedoms. For America to survive, for families to be strong for each other we have to find a way so that this does not happen again.

[Midlodemocrat]

24. My deepest condolences on the loss of your dad.

May perpetual light shine upon him.

:hug:

[jean]

25. I'm so sorry for your loss, dp.

[Patiod]

26. So sorry dp

Glad you're able to be there for you mom

[Echotrail]

27. I'm so sorry, dpbrown

:hug:

May you always hold him in your heart.

[northernsoul]

28. deep condolences

Let us know if we can help.

[dflprincess]

29. Oh, Dan, I'm so sorry

It doesn't matter how old we get, we're never ready to lose our parents. Take care, I'll be thinking of you and your family.

[dpbrown]

31. You people are so sweet

This is a hard time. I'm rarely without words, but I just get choked up reading all your kind thoughts, especially from my Minnesota DU family.

Granted, I find it pretty easy to end up crying these days, but you people really know how to turn me into a sodden mess.

Thank you.

dpbrown

[Deja Q]

32. Oh no. My sincerest condolances for you and your family.

:(

:hug: :hug:

:grouphug:

[philosophie_en_rose]

33. Take care of yourself, dpbrown.

My condolences to you and your family.

Please be extra good to yourself during this time.

[SPKrazy]

34. Very Sorry dpbrown

:hug:

[YDogg]

36. I'm very, very sorry.

Peace.

[UrbScotty]

39. How sad.

My condolences to you and to your family.

[fortyfeetunder]

40. Sorry to learn of your dad's passing

I had been lurking (reading at work) and hoping for the best. So sorry to learn of his passing. He sounded like a fine man. Take care!

:hug:

[dpbrown]

41. ***** The ceremony was so moving and wonderful *****

So many people sent flowers that it filled up two rooms at the funeral home.

My father was a member of the Knights of Columbus 4th Degree, and they provided an honor guard during the entire visitation. They had swords and were so regally attired, they had hats with plumes. It was like they were attending the Pope. They changed guards every 15 minutes or so, somberly marching in and out. One was at the head and one was at the foot of the casket at all times. Later, they led a rosary for my dad.

My nephew who is in Navy ROTC led in the procession in church for the funeral, carrying the crucifix. The K of C were there again. I read the first reading and my brother the second. Then we all drove in a long procession to the cemetery.

Before my father was laid to rest, he received a 21 gun salute. A member of the American Legion presented a flag to my mother with these words that I will remember forever, "On behalf of a grateful nation, I present this flag to you." A bugler played Taps. It was as if his Army service had been just yesterday.

I wish he could have seen it. The thing is, he was so modest it may have made him uncomfortable.

I miss him very much. I think often about my own childhood now and replay scenes with him in my head. In one of my favorite moments ever, the two of us are dangling long bamboo poles with string and bobber out over an eddy of Lake Alice on the edge of the golf course. We can hear the recurring song of the Red-wing Blackbirds hanging on the nearby cattails. We catch small sunfish and take them home to fry little fillets. I am so happy to catch fish.

His life was so amazing and unlikely.

He really was part of a greatest generation.

[lavenderdiva]

43. that sounds like a beautiful ceremony

and I think your dad was able to see it. He probably loved it! I'm so sorry that you are hurting and missing your Dad so much right now. Its been 12 years since my own Dad passed away, and while I can tell you that it won't hurt so bad in the future, you will still think fondly of the many things you shared, and how much he meant to you. And sometimes there will be tears. I'm sending you lots of hugs :hug: :cry: :hug:

[rockymountaindem]

42. My condolences n/t

[goodhue]

44. very sorry to learn of this, Dan

my thoughts are with you

[myrna minx]

45. I am so sorry.

:cry: :hug:

[Rick Myers]

46. So sorry for your loss, dpbrown!

Janet and I send our sincere sympathy. I lost my mom a few months ago, and the folks at DU sent the most heart-warming messages. It helped me alot...

May your father rest in peace.

All the best to you and your family.

Rick

[LaraMN]

47. Oh, dan...

I'm so, so sorry to hear this.
:hug: :hug: :hug:
You and your family are in my thoughts. I'll bet your Dad was one heck of a guy.

[devilgrrl]

48. I am so sorry for your loss.

:hug:

[crim son]

8. dpbrown, I am very sorry to hear of your father passing.

It has been clear from your posts how much you loved and respected him. You and your family will be in my prayers. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[uppityperson]

17. Oh dang, I am so sorry. My condolences to you and your family, friends.

It is really hard to lose a parent. I am sorry.

[VenusRising]

18. Best wishes to you and your family during this time.

I hope your father has a speedy recovery.
:hug:

[graywarrior]

30. Sending good vibes to your dad from here in Florida.

[applegrove]

35. Sending you vibes...

[mike_c]

37. damn, I'm so sorry-- sending condolences to you and your family....

:hug:

[u4ic]

38. Sincere and heartfelt condolences to you, dpbrown

on your father's passing. :hug: