THE FROG WANTS TO KNOW : What exactly is a Fraternity ???

[frogfromthenorth2]

I am asking because I have a vague idea of what it is (from movies and TV) but aside from that it's totally outside French Canadian culture.

Let's say that somebody is totally unaware about American culture and you have to explain to that person what is a fraternity. What would you say? Can somebody fill in the gaps for me please?

Thanks in advance... :-) :-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. What kind of fraternity?

I'm asduming you are talking about social fraternities, like the farternities in Animal House.

Well, fraternities are groups of men (sororities are for women, and there are some fraternities that are co-ed, like Beta Theta Pi) who are in college together, who generally like each other's company and get along well and want to live together for a few years, with all the foibles and wonderment that a large group of people in intentional community will undergo - resolutions of disputes, management of property, dealing with the college, etc., and also the social work that the fraternity most likely does: my fraternity did a lot of social work with collecting foodstuffs at the holidays, and with a children's organization (can't remember the name, but every year we carved and donated pumpkins filled with candy to the children, along with doing some stuff some other times).

But there is a BOATLOAD of variety. Mine (Lambda Chi Alpha) was a very respected and respectful house that maintained the highest GPA on campus all the years I was there (higher even than the average GPA of the non-affiliated peoples). Lambda Chi also has a strict no hazing policy, has no pledges (has associate members instead, who have full voting priveleges), and has managed itself, nationally speaking, amazingly well and been at the forefront of trying to eliminate hazing in all fraternities, trying to eliminate binge drinking and parties, has done a lot of work on fraternities and insurance, tried to eliminate sexual harassment of both women and gays (though far more in relation to women than gays), and all the other bad stuff often associated with fraternities.

Fraternities also help build leadership skills and qualities, moral qualities (though some fail at this, and not to say that one needs a fraternity to learn morality), and, pragmatically speaking, is also a great way to get one's foot in the door in the world of business networking, etc. I also know that, if I ever hit bad times, I have an entire host of guys who will practically break their arms to help me out, as I would them.

I'd suggest you look at the Lambda Chi Alpha website, http://www.lambdachi.org. You'll get much more stuff there about what a fraternity is. Also might want to check out some other frat websites, like alpha tau omega, beta theta pi, sigma alpha epsilon, sigma nu, pi kappa alpha, etc.

I would never give up my fraternity experience, and have a number of friends still that i would not have known and developed sucha strong bond with without having lived together as a fraternity.

[frogfromthenorth2]

3. Wow... That's what I call an exhaustive answer!

Do I understand it well about "pledges" that it's the period when you don't know if the fraternity will keep you or not?

And the notoriety of those frat house is built on who went there?

Thanks a lot!

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. Generally speaking, when one is made a pledge,

that means you are totally in, and there is little chance of not being initiated. The period called "rush" is when the fraternities and sororities open their doors and invite everyone in, and then make judgment on people as to who they will invite to join.

The notoriety of a house is also dependant on the college. If you go to a place like Yale or Harvard, then there you will find fraternities that tend to have lots of legacies (that is, a long line of family members), and in that sense build up much more notoriety. My college didn't (and likely still doesn't) have much in terms of really famous people or big businessman or rich families who have travelled through, so we didn't have to deal with any of that legacy stuff. When I was a senior was the first year that my fraternity had a legacy, and that was a younger brother of a former member.

But yes, in some colleges there will be some fraternities that have a real pedigree. But i would submit that in those cases they are less a fraternity formed around mutual brotherhood, and are much more a collection of people using the fraterntiy as a fence to keep out those who are "lesser". Sad, but true; and that's the way many of the rich and famous work, you know.

[frogfromthenorth2]

9. Thank you very much!

You just filled all the gaps in my understanding of that "tradition"

Much appreciated!

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. Thanks, but I'm sure there's much more I'm leaving out

and others will have different perspectives and experiences.

And I'm sure you'll hear from those who have no direct experience with fraternities or sororities, but will offer an opinion anyway. :-)

I was very anti-fraternity when I arrived at college, but thankfully a couple lambda chi guys were persistent in inviting me over, so I finally accepted, and after a few times fell in love with the group.

We did have some bad ones on campus, a few big on hazing, and one big druggy house. So one's mileage may vary.

[Nikia]

2. They have secret rituals

I have heard that some Greek organizations are more open, but generally, they have some activities of their organization which are secret. Initiation is uaully a secret ceremony in which secret information, like what the Greek letters of their organization stand for, is revealed. They may have other secret ceremonies throught the year meant to cement the bonds of brotherhood(or sisterhood).
This is one of the things that I really liked about belonging to a sorority.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. Yes, there is that as well

And if you're lucky, and happen to belong to the fraternity that Harry S Truman was in (like me!), then those secret rituals are truly secret, becuase the library of congress doesn't have 'em. Lambda Chi (Truman's fraternity) and one other fraternity are the only two that were "exempted" from having their secret rituals examined by the unamerican activities peoples in the 1950s and placed in the library of congress. Hee hee.

[frogfromthenorth2]

5. I imagine that the fraternity picked you? On what ground?

Money, knowledge, looks? lol

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. Every fraternity will do it differently

But in mine, we based on our decisions on likability of the candidate and how well we thought he would get along with the current members and be a team player and offer something to the group. Nothing about money, looks, knowledge, skills, etc. sadly, I'm sure not every fraternity is so egalitarian in outlook (especially some of those at the high-end ivy league schools with long legancies of wealthy and famous etc.). We also had the advantage that our rush was four weeks - most colleges offer only one week, which just isn't enough to get to know the candidates, and one reason the legacy system becomes so important on large campuses. My school was small and we had a long rush, so there was good opportunity to really get to know the house (when I was a freshman) and to get to know the candidates (when i was an upperclassman).

And some (maybe most?) fraternities tend to look for men of similar interests. Mine didn't even do that so much, but we had one fraternity on campus with a real strong sports interest, so they tended to go for guys who were into sports. We had one that was big on drugs. I'd imagine every campus has their own, and I'm sure that even within my fraternity, on other campuses, each house will have it's own unique emphasis.

And we didn't have any sports teams in college, but I'd think that, perhaps, on campuses in which the college has sports teams, those guys might tend to end up at the same fraternities, and some frats would get to be known as "the football team frat" or "basebeall team frat". Not necessarily, but I wouldn't be surprised, tend people tend to associate with people who are similar.

[Nikia]

14. A number of things

It depends on the group and the campus. Generally, on our campus, members were selected by their potential to add and fit in with the group. When I say add, I mean by leadership abilities, GPA, positive attitude, belonging to other extra curriculiar activities, willingness to help others, and diversity. When I say "fit in", I don't mean being clones of each other, but not someone who would be a disruptor, sort of like how we don't want Freepers on DU.
For example, we did not selct a woman going through Rush who drew "dark" pictures on the cards, going to a children's group, that we were making during one of our Rush activities.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

6. generally fraternities

are associated with drinking, mindlessness, groupthink, Dave Matthews Band, hackey-sack, frisbee-golf and Birkenstocks. Did I leave anything out? oh yeah, drinking. Fraternities are for college students who aren't confident enough to make friends on their own, so they rely on their parents to buy friends for them. Books - check, Tuition - check, Room - check, Food - check, "Friends" - check.

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. Wow, thanks for the ridiculous and unwarrented attack

Parents buying friends my ass. What a f-ing assinine and uneducated thing to say. What a broad brush you paint with.

[Melsky]

11. Rabrrrrrr, are you psychic?

"And I'm sure you'll hear from those who have no direct experience with fraternities or sororities, but will offer an opinion anyway."

[Rabrrrrrr]

13. Honestly, I wrote that line

after I responded to the above post, so it was a post-facto prediction, but as soon as I saw the thread the first time I knew there would be some good, democrat liberals here who would take the opportunity to trash the entire system with one quick broad brushstroke. :-)

[SlavesandBulldozers]

15. im glad I could make your

post-facto prediction come true. I was being harsh, and playing devil's advocate. In all fairness, it always appeared that the frats had more fun than I was having. Sometimes I just can't resist a good tirade, it's one of my many faults. I apologize if this offended anyone. Believe me when I say I would never say any of this to a pledge's face - I hide behind the computer. ;)

[kmla]

16. Yes. It was harsh. And entirely reeks of sour grapes. And whine.

Fraternities are what you make of them. I enjoyed my fraternity experience, and wouldn't trade it for anything.

Was I priveleged? Nah. My dad, and entire family line, is pretty blue collar, union oriented. We weren't swimming in cash.

Snobby? Nah. We didn't care who your dad was, or what he did for a living, or how big his stock portfolio was. We were very diverse. White, Asian, African American, gay, we didn't care much. Our only criteria was that you got along with the brothers in the house, and were likable.

Did we drink? Of course. Most everyone did. We weren't spectacular by any means in that respect.

Hazing? No fuckin' way. Didn't have it happen to me, and I sure wasn't going to do it to anyone else.

Life is what you make of it. I made a choice to join a fraternity. If you chose not to, that is OK by me, too. But painting with such a broad brush just makes a mess.

But that's just my opinion.

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. apology accepted

Perhaps a smiley would have helped eased the tension... sure seemed awfully critical of you, the way you said it; hence my return tirade.

Nothing wrong with a good tirade (and when I'm in the mood for a good tirade, you can get it's gonna be a pretty broad brush I'm taking out, too) but clue the readers in, since we can't hear ya to understand it's a tirade versus an honest opinion (not that one isn't, during a tirade, offering an honest opinion, but it's generally not one's "usual" opinion).

[htuttle]

18. An pot dealer I once knew used to tell a joke....

Q: Why did God invent frat boys?
A: Somebody has to pay retail.

:P

Before I raise Rabrrr's hackles, let me say that I'm sure that Lambda Chi Alpha is a fine bunch of people. Most of my experience with fraternity members has been with TKE's...and most of it wasn't very good. In fact, the TKE house here in Madison is fairly notorious..

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. hee hee

Yes, we are a fine bunch of people. :-) But there was drug use in my fraternity, too - though surprising little, as a percentage basis. Lots of drinking, natch, but in terms of illegal stuff, not much. And those who did snoke the weed were often suffering the ire of others (though ironically those others would, when we were off on retreat, then come to the weed smokers and say "Hey, would you mind sharing?" hypocrites.)

Yes, the TKE house in Madtown has a bad reputation; as does TKE in general, if memory serves. We didn't have any on campus, though.

(good joke, by the way) (but please note, Rabrrrrrr has six r's, not three) :evilgrin:

[htuttle]

22. Whoops!

Sorrrrrry!

(there's some extra 'r's to make up for above)

I once lived in an Unfraternity. Seven or so rotating people with 3 regulars renting a house next to 'frat row' together. We didn't have a charter, or a sign (except for one strange weekend), or any other recognition.

But that was fine. It was where that pot dealer I mentioned above also lived.

We didn't need a sign...

:evilgrin:

[ewagner]

23. Ahem....

easy on the Tekes please........

[smirkymonkey]

19. Watch the movie "Animal House"

and it will give you a pretty good (although hilariously exaggerated) idea of what the whole thing is about. A bit dated, but it wasn't too far from what it was like at my college.

I was in a Sorority, so all I know about fraternities are that they are great places to get drunk, pick up guys and do drugs. :)

[DrWeird]

20. They're sort of like bathhouses.

For WASPs.

[ewagner]

24. LOL

eom

[jimbo fett]

25. As a former fraternity member I can say that it is a way to

have killer parties and get drunk. Some may feed you the line that it is about character building and community service but that's bullshit.

When it comes down to it, it's just a club you join and pay dues so that you can go to great parties, get drunk and pick up girls.

[styersc]

26. The best friends money can buy.

I'm poor so I always had to get my friends the old fashioned way- earn them.

[ewagner]

27. C'mon now...

there really were some nice traditions...besides the parties....
the Formal Dances were really great........seranading the "sweethearts" was very cool........

[jimbo fett]

28. Did you join for "traditions"? Nope. Chicks and beer, that's why.

[ewagner]

29. It was the whole package

...for me anyway........