I've been having this strange "marriage" dream these past nights.

[liberalhistorian]

It seems to be the same dream, or variations of it. I

'm getting ready for a wedding that I think is a friend's, it turns out to be mine. I find myself wearing the traditional white dress, veil, carrying the flower bouquet, the whole works. My family and friends are there, I'm walking down the aisle. Only it's to a man I've only known for an hour or so, I have no real idea who he is except that he's adamant about going through with the wedding even though he's also only known me for an hour or so.

I have no idea who this person is, or why I'm marrying him suddenly, or why he wants to go through with it. I'm in a panic; sometimes I wake up just before I reach the end of the aisle, sometimes I wake up just before I go to tell the man that this is crazy, and I'm not going through with it.

The man in the dream is not familiar to me at all as far as anyone I know, and doesn't even resemble any past boyfriends or dates. I wake up in such a relief, because it seems so real. I have no clue what this means, or why I'd keep having this dream. Anyone have any ideas?

I should add that I'm a never-married single parent (my son is 12), and I just turned 39.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

1. just guessing

but it could be that you have a deadline somewhere in the back of your mind that you feel you are unprepared for.

it could also mean youre eager to meet somebody new. Not necessarily to marry, mind you,but maybe somewhere in the back of your mind you feel compelled to branch out.

[liberalhistorian]

3. I don't have a deadline,

I had thought of that. Maybe you've got a point on the second idea, though.

[Demobrat]

2. It sounds like you're worried about

being forced into something you don't want to be. Forget the marriage symbolism for a moment. What's going on in your life where you feel like you're being coerced?

[liberalhistorian]

4. See, that's the thing,

I'd thought of that, also, but I can't really think of anything. Work's going well. I hate living with my parents at my age, with my mom continually driving me crazy thinking I'm still a teenager, but I've done that for the past 13 years, since I was pregnant with my son, so that's nothing new.

[Demobrat]

6. So you're being forced to live with somebody you'd rather not.

Hmmmmm...

[VelmaD]

5. Maybe it's precognitive...

maybe you're about to meet someone and you're going to fall really hard really fast and the dream is telling you to be careful. :shrug:

[liberalhistorian]

7. That could very well be,

and I do have a tendency to do that sometimes.

[VelmaD]

9. I am deeply in touch...

and suffering through it yet again. *sigh* Wish I had had a precognitive dream to tell me to be careful (not that I would have listened). :-)

[liberalhistorian]

17. I know what you mean,

you'd think we'd have learned to listen to our inner voices by now

[camero]

8. Maybe you just need to finish the dream.

Some dreams are just stories alluding to our hopes and fears. And you just haven't let the story play itself out. That may be why you keep having that particular dream.

I'm guessing that you hope to be married one day but with the right person.

[liberalhistorian]

11. Yes, that is certainly true,

if I ever do get married it would have to be with the right person, I refuse to just "settle." I just thought of something else, too, everyone I know, with the exception of my church singles group, is married, including cousins my age on both sides of the family, and I often feel like a third wheel at family gatherings. That might have something to do with it.

[camero]

13. Could be

I used to look around me the same as you and ask "why not me?". It does more harm than good I realized. Now I'm just happy for them.

Noone should have to just "settle". It may be a long search, but it will happen for you. Don't worry. :)

[Snow]

10. I'd advise avoiding the Unification Church & Rev. Moon.

[liberalhistorian]

16. LMAO!

That's a good one, of course, I avoid them like the plague, anyway.

[NightTrain]

12. Geez, all I did was send you some CDs for your birthday!

Yeah, I'm not too arrogant, am I? ;)

[camero]

14. And sugar free chocolate...lol

:P

[liberalhistorian]

15. LOL!

And I'm really enjoying them, too, Dean, you've got excellent musical tastes! BTW, did you get my email in response to yours?

[NightTrain]

18. I tried to call you tonight. Twice, in fact.

The first time, I got an answering machine, but didn't leave a message. The second time, the line was busy.

Hey, give me an "A" for effort!

[liberalhistorian]

19. Unfortunately, I don't have

a second line, so that when I'm on the computer I can't get any phone calls. Why don't you try me tomorrow at work, you have that number, right?

[NightTrain]

28. OK, I'll try

Any idea how late you'll be at the office on Thursday, so I'll know when to try?

Alternately, you could try calling me from work. Whichever.

[SoCalDem]

39. You both need to get on skype..

www.skype.com.. You can talk long distance for free..AND be online..

It's fantastic :)and it's freeeeeeeeeeee.

[KG]

20. I have marriage dreams, too. actually there're more like nightmares!

:)

[liberalhistorian]

21. LOL!

That's what a couple of my friends said. I think it's better to be alone than to be married to the wrong person, or stuck in a bad marriage.

[BiggJawn]

24. I've done all three, and alone sucks the least!

Bad marriages will make you old FAST!
The wrong person can make your life hell.
Alone, you have no one to bitch at you but the fish, and a sprinkle of Wardley's usually shuts them up...

[liberalhistorian]

30. That's the way I feel.

I've never been married, but I've had relationships and I've seen enough bad marriages to know the truth in that. Of course, when it's a good marriage with the right person, it's really wonderful. I've seen that, too.

[BiggJawn]

33. Yeah, but I think it's too late for me.

Been "on my own" too long. Too many "quirks and idiosyncracies" to have anyone but another slob be able to put up with me.

I like not having hang the damp towel just SO.
I LIKE being able to fart and belch.
i LIKE having 5 bicycles in the way so I can't watch videos.

I should nave been "snatched up" when I was younger and more mallable. Instead, I'm set in my ways and all I can think of is "Yeah? well what's in it for ME if I help you make this place look like I don't live here?"

[liberalhistorian]

34. There is, indeed, something to that.

You get so used to the freedom of being alone and doing what you want when you want the way you want it that it's hard to imagine having to live with someone and answer to them or explain why you'd rather curl up and read your book than wash the dishes or fold laundry!

[populistmom]

25. Funny you say that.

I've been having this strange marriage dream for 12 years. :crazy:

[Zomby Woof]

22. it means you are in love with...

Bilbo! BILBO! Bilbo Baggins, the bravest little hobbit of them all! :bounce:

[liberalhistorian]

23. Uh, Zomby, I'm afraid

I don't even know who you're talking about since I'm not into LOTR (I think I'm one of maybe three Americans who aren't into it). But if he looks anything like Russell Crowe, then I'd have NO problem with it, lol!

[NightTrain]

26. Come on! We all know what her dream REALLY means

It means I've won her over with my irresistible charm! *BELCH*

[liberalhistorian]

31. Hey, say excuse me

when you burp like that! Didn't your mama teach you any manners? Sheesh, looks like I've got my work cut out for me when you do make it down here, lol! Just don't burp like that when we're eating at the Rock Hall and Museum's restaurant.

[Zomby Woof]

27. funny thing about dreams

They put things into your head you didn't even know were there!

[NightTrain]

29. You said it, ZW!

Some of my best ideas for novels have come from dreams. Now if I could just find the time, and muster up the ambition, to write the damned things...!

[liberalhistorian]

32. Me. too!

I dreamed an idea for a play and a couple of short stories last week. I'm hoping to get the money together to take a playwriting course my local arts center is offering with a professional playwright.

[NightTrain]

40. I took playwriting in college

In fact, the theater wing ended up producing my play! It was quite an experience.

[neebob]

35. If I had a dream like that

I'd assume it was about having committed to something I wasn't truly comfortable with or that I shouldn't commit to something I'm considering - something that is perhaps more life-altering than I realize. It may not have anything to do with love or romance.

I believe dreams are the subconscious mind's way of working on problems, and it presents them in ways the conscious mind can handle, if not understand. The thing that wakes you up is the thing you're not ready to deal with.

So, whatever it is, backing out of it isn't an option you're fully aware of yet.

It might have something to do with the friend whose wedding it's starts out to be, if it's an identifiable person. Perhaps that friend is getting you into something you're not comfortable with or impacting your life in a major way? Or the friend could represent someone or something else.

[liberalhistorian]

37. I also believe what you say about dreams,

and that's why I can't figure this one out. I can't think of anything that I'm being coerced into doing that I don't really want to do, and the friend in the dream isn't recognizable as one of my friends, she's just a "friend" (you know how dreams are with that kind of thing, you "know" something even if it doesn't make sense).

I have been doing some thinking, though, since maybe something I'm currently doing I don't really want to do, even though I may not yet consciously know it.

[ScreamingMeemie]

36. Is he cute? Then I say, stay asleep!

:) Strangely, I remember having these dreams when I was a single mom. Not exactly the same, but the same in the sense of rushing to get married. In hindsight I think it may have been me dealing with a lot of the stigma that came from being a young (19 at the time) single mother. In my waking moments, I was always defensive of that. As a hairstylist, I would have a lot of snotty customers look at my left hand and ask, "Is your husband excited?" That and being raised by two Catholic parents pretty much screwed up my mind set back then.

Sorry for rambling...

:hi:

[liberalhistorian]

38. I'm wondering if

that might not have something to do with it as well, because there still is a lot of stigma as far as single parents and being single are concerned and I'm constantly hearing remarks about my marital and motherhood status, and getting more pressure the older I get.