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Elidor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-07-04 10:13 PM
Original message
Evil Fortune Cookies
You left the coffee pot on this morning.

He's cheating on you with your best friend.

As you sit here eating, your son has just broken into the locked box under your bed.

You're about to win the lottery.
But first you'll be killed by a truck.

They know. They KNOW. Yes, about THAT.

Time to renew your unemployment insurance.

Indictments against you will be handed down tomorrow.

Two words: Bee Oh.

You will live the rest of your insignificant life among uncaring idiots and die in poverty of a lingering disease. Now have a nice day.:)

(Add your own...)
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grasswire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-07-04 10:20 PM
Response to Original message
1. this is a real one
"If you can read this, the poison hasn't worked yet."

Found in a real fortune cookie.
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Elidor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-07-04 10:22 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. You gotta tell me more - I love a good story
That's a classic.
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MsChiff Donating Member (108 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-07-04 10:26 PM
Response to Original message
3. Another Real Fortune Cookie
It annoys me to no end, because I happen to get this particular fortune repeatedly:

"A very atractive lady has a message for you."
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DebJ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-07-04 10:39 PM
Response to Original message
4. "Four more years" of oligarchy
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baldguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-07-04 10:45 PM
Response to Original message
5. "That wasn't chicken."
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baldguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-08-04 01:01 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. .
Did I win?
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ComerPerro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-08-04 01:03 AM
Response to Original message
7. "... in bed"
Or "on the toilet". Or whatever you prefer.
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grasswire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-08-04 04:10 AM
Response to Original message
8. reminds me of something else...
...I once bought a little Chinese cotton jacket in Chinatown SF -- pretty black with red characters on it. Someone translated it for me a few years later at a party. It read thus: "This is a cheap dish, but tasty."
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baldguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-08-04 07:47 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. Are you?
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