Eight Million Americans Rescued From Poverty With Redefinition Of Term

[Cannikin]

VOLUME 35 ISSUE 41 — 10 NOVEMBER 1999
Eight Million Americans Rescued From Poverty With Redefinition Of Term
WASHINGTON, DC—Approximately eight million Americans living below the poverty line were rescued from economic hardship Tuesday, when the U.S. Census Bureau redefined the term. "We are winning the war on poverty," said bureau head James Irving, who lowered the poverty line for a four-person family to $14,945. "Today, millions of people whose inflation-adjusted total household income is less than $16,780 are living better lives." Said formerly poor Jackson, MS, motel housekeeper Althea Williams: "I never dreamed I'd ever become middle-class. America truly is the land of opportunity."


www.theonion.com

[elperromagico]

1. Ahh, a fellow Onion reader.

I bow to you.

[Cannikin]

6. And a fellow Arkansan..hello!

[Cannikin]

7. Dupe....

[banana republican]

2. How many Microsofties does it take to change a lightbulb

None...

They change the standard to dark...

[kitkatrose]

3. This almost isn't funny,

because with this administration, it could be true. :( I've had to read carefully to make sure that it isn't from the onion or another site.

[Richardo]

4. Funny! But after the conventions this will be LBN...

I can hear the gears in Rove's pointy li'l haid whirring right about now...

[Z-axis]

5. Relief at last

Yeah, I always thought I was wasting my money on heat, rent and medicare premiums -- I feel so much better now that I know I can live without those useless indulgences.

z-axis