Top 10 Ways to Play With Your Ann Coulter Action Figure

[4dsc]

http://www.austinchronicle.com/issues/dispatch/2004-01-02/pols_roundup8.html

1) Two words: Paris Hilton.

2) Wipe that smirk (and everything else) off her face! (Try Easy-Off Oven Cleaner.)

3) Hair play. Give her cornrows. Or a Mohawk.

4) Feed her $500,000 worth of OxyContin. (It's OK. It's for her pain, not for kicks.)

more...

[cthrumatrix]

1. I always thought that a "tree shredder" would work well for her

[Hoosier Democrat]

8. I know!! I Know!!

Some suggestions:

Use it to feed pills to your Jabba the Hutt action figure (complete with cigar and microphone)

Buy the life-sized version and place it in your garden to scare crows (and people) away

The perfect toilet brush!!

[CatWoman]

2. *snarf*

10) Invade her country, kill her leader, and convert her to Christianity.

[judge_smales]

5. Actually I think

a conversion to Christianity would serve Anne, and all of 'Merica very well.

[kayell]

7. The writer of the article has just been sent to Gitmo

for that line. "instigating a plot to harm the pResident"

[The Zanti Regent]

3. Oh, it's most effective as a voodoo doll

especially if you stick a pin up it's ass!

[loudsue]

4. I love it!!

:kick:

[Military Brat]

6. Purchase 2, use as driveway speed bumps

Watch out for the sharp tongue, though, so as not to puncture a tire.

[GregW]

9. Now where's my Ronald McDonald action figure???

:eyes:

[mrsteve]

10. Actually, I was given one of these for Christmas as a joke

I was also given a Jar-Jar Binks animated figure a few years ago (again as a joke - my friends have interesting senses of humor).

I am contemplating placing Ann in compromising positions with Jar Jar. After all, in real life, they are both just pre-programmed caricatures wound up by their corporate masters. They'd make a perfect couple.

Also - the phrases they have programmed into that Coulter doll are tantamount to encouraging genocide. If you replace the word "liberal" with "Jew" or "Negro" in a lot of her recorded phrases she would be justifiably accused of hate crimes.