I hurt my girlfriend immensely on Wednesday. How can I make it up to her?

[zappa_parappa]

That is assuming she'll talk to me again. Ugh, life sucks.

[RebelOne]

1. To start with, send flowers.

[zappa_parappa]

4. I'm not much for sending flowers, they always seem like a cop out to me

plus im kinda broke

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. what did you do?

[zappa_parappa]

3. Got drunk and left her stranded somewhere for a long time.

Now she not only says I'm unreliable, but she thinks I'm hiding things from her.

[zanne]

5. Um.....Do you think you'll do that kind of thing again?

If so, no amount of flowers or apology will help you.

[zappa_parappa]

7. I'm not planning on it

It was a terrible accident, but it requires much apologizing!

[Deep13]

14. Calling it an accident is an attempt to dodge responsibility. nt

[zappa_parappa]

Oh no its not, it was an accident that I'm entirely responsible for

But its not a regular occurance.

[Bridget Burke]

6. Well, ARE you hiding things from her?

It appears you were unreliable in one instance. Future good behavior is your best bet. If you HAVE a future with her.

I vote for flowers. Or a book. Or whatever you know she'd like. Gestures count.

[zappa_parappa]

9. I've been a bit flakey lately and haven't been reliable

but I'm really crazy about her, so i want to make it work.

[Bridget Burke]

16. Well, make an extra effort to be reliable.

That's really the only way to earn her trust.

Good luck! (One flower might do if you can't afford a bunch.)

[Javaman]

not knowing the whole story...

Have you apologized profusely and explained to her what happened and why?

[NashVegas]

28. You Really Don't Want to Start That Shit, My Friend

There's nothing fun about making plans with someone who has a habit of breaking them at the last minute.

If you want to see her, you'll see her when you say you will. If you aren't, then you really don't want to see her all that badly.

If this is a habit and she doesn't blow you off for good, she needs a therapist.

[npincus]

10. sorry to say...

I think it's done.

A self-respecting person wouldn't stay in a relationship if their partner did that to them. Sorry. That's my honest opinion.

[zappa_parappa]

12. Well then lets assume shes not self respecting...how can i smooth things over?

[npincus]

20. you sound remorseful and sincere...

and everyone makes mistakes, that's true. I don't know her and I don't know you, so I can only make assumptions, colored by my own judgement and relationship experience.

I can assume (from her point of view) that she won't/can't trust you again to put your commitments to her above the pursuit of your own personal pleasure. She's probably lost respect for you as someone she can depend on. And, if she's ever had any kind of abandonment or negect issues with her family in the past-- or with an alcoholic parent, that would magnify the impact of this: being forgotten (abandoned) could really have hurt her in a profound way.

I'm sorry, I don't think there's a simple 'fix' here.

My suggestion is you need to talk, talk, talk with her, and get her to tell you everything that she's thinking and feeling. You should do a lot of listening. Only then you can make the determination if she's open to continuing the relationship. Sending her a nice bauble or bunch of flowers, etc. won't do, it might even piss her off. Ask her what you can do for her, ask if there's a way to make it up to her. If she says no, then you need to move on, leave her be, and learn from it.

I wish you the best, of course. And this is one person's (my) opinion.

[NashVegas]

29. Let Her Go and Get Your Own Act Together

...

[Tsiyu]

8. Figure out why you have to get so drunk

Why do you do that to yourself?

Then sit down and have a long talk, let her vent and hope you never do that crap again.

[zappa_parappa]

11. Well i didn't do it on purpose...

I had the evening off and got nice and toasted, then she called and asked me to pick her up, but by then i was already drunk, and time just kinda slipped away.

[Connonym]

13. Mistakes happen

but if I was in her shoes you'd really have to show that it was a one off in order to gain trust again. That could take a long time to build back up. Gifts won't be enough, only your future actions can make up for something like this. But it's actually better that you forgot because sounds like you were in no shape to drive.

This might be one of those lessons in life you learn the hard way :-/

[Raffi Ella]

21. if you were already drinking when she called

why did you tell her you'd pick her up in the first place?

I'd be so mad if I were her.But shit happens.But you did do something that is not good,broken her trust ya' know??
You're going to have to give this one time,if she forgives you,all you can do is prove,with action,that it won't happen again and that you are trustworthy.

Are you trustworthy??Man,that would piss me off.ha,sorry but you screwed up.Go over and seduce her and give her some good sex - maybe remind her that there are other good things about you not yet worth giving up on. :evilgrin:

[marzipanni]

27. I guess when you're drunk you wouldn't think of admitting it,

and telling her you wouldn't want to drive drunk to pick her up when she called. She'd be more likely to forgive you.
This morning I was contemplating the alcohol abuse related divorces and one loss of child custody in my neighborhood. Sad.

[Omphaloskepsis]

15. Honesty....

Words > Flowers...

[NewJeffCT]

17. First off

Apologize profusely, admit you were stupid, irresponsible and wrong and tell her you'll do anything to make it up to her, though you wouldn't blame her for not trusting you ever again.

Second, be prepared to do a lot of groveling and begging.

Third, if you believe in a higher power, pray to it. Then, cross your fingers and pray some more.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

19. i agree with jeff.

i read what you did, it sucked. but its a forgiveable offense.

[NewJeffCT]

22. well, we men are lucky

that women are often forgiving after a copious amount of apologizing, groveling and begging.

Though, I wouldn't blame the OP's girlfriend if she never spoke to him again.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

23. i would have forgiven lisa for this one. if it wasnt something that happened all the time

if it did happen all the time, no amount of flowers would make it right

[NewJeffCT]

32. On these sorts of issues

If something like this happened to me, I tend to be a bit of a sap - I'm a sucker for a woman's tears.

[KG]

18. you are screwn!

[Javaman]

24. If you have any artistic talent at all, I would put it to good use right now...

once upon a time a long time ago in a life far far away. I was dating a girl I hurt very much. I was completely broke. Not a cent to my name. The only thing I had was an old champagne cork from a New years celebration she and I had. I had my pocket knife. I carved a daisy out of it and painted it.

I gave to her and said, "out of old memories springs new life". That melted her cold cold heart. :)

[graywarrior]

25. My ex did that to me one time too many.

That's why he is my ex.

[Yavin4]

26. Have You Tried Blaming Clinton or the Liberal Media?

That seems to work for some folks.

[VenusRising]

30. First, apologize.

Second, I would talk to her about how even though you didn't show up it was for the best that you didn't drive at all. If you were drunk enough to lose time, then you were probably too drunk to drive, and you could have both been in a terrible accident. I understand her being upset, but you hurt her far less than was possible had you chosen to drive drunk/buzzed. At least this way, you are both alive to worry about each other's feelings.

Finally, I would say that if she can't get over this, move on. It's not like you left her in the middle of the worst part of town on purpose. It was a horrible mistake made by an impaired person. You seem to love and care about your gf very much and I'm sure that you had every intention of picking her up. Sometimes, accidents happen.

I have to say that this sounds like a story that a mom would tell her kids about dad, or dad would tell about mom on a lesson how not to be. Hopefully, one day you will be able to laugh at the situation together.

Best of Luck!

[I Have A Dream]

31. Have you ever done this before? If so, I don't mean to be mean...

but I really don't want to help you to get her back. If this is a one-time thing, then I think that the best thing that you can do is to really talk it out and explain that you understand what you put her through and that you plan to make sure that it never happens again, and then make sure that you follow through. The most important thing, in my opinion, is that she sees that you can empathize with what she went through.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

33. I once dated someone who left me stranded because he got all

caught up in an "important" game of Dungeons and Dragons.

I forgave him, but the slip-up should have been my warning that he tended to obsess about things that weren't important and let the important things slide. The relationship lasted about six months, and in retrospect, I'm surprised I held on that long.