What is this contention going on in DU lately? I can't read through a thread

[Maraya1969]

without reading sarcastic, rude or just nasty comments to people who are supposed to be FRIENDS.

I don't remember so many comments like this ever before.


I hope everyone can remember that we are all on the same team and that we all need reassurance and kindness. You can disagree with someone and be nice to them at the same time.




:hi:

[dropkickpa]

1. It's SAD

Not enough sunlight turns us all into trolls.

[johnnie]

2. I hardly feel like posting anymore

There is too much anger at this place.

I've gotten more shit the last few weeks than the last few years combined. Seems that there is always someone there to try to pick a fight.

[Midlodemocrat]

4. Not from me, I LOVE johnnie.

:hug:

[johnnie]

23. Why thank you

That always feels good. :)

[idgiehkt]

28. me too

:hug:

[Maraya1969]

9. Sorry johnnie. You are not the only one. Let's just try to ignore

the nasty posts and keep going. The only way to stop them is to just ignore them.

[auntAgonist]

22. that's a shame Johnnie!

:(


aA
kesha

[Evoman]

36. WHO ARE YOU TO SAY THAT! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!!!!!

Just kidding ;)

[johnnie]

58. .

x(













:P

[hfojvt]

59. you've changed your icon, man

people don't know who you are any more.

[johnnie]

66. Ok

Now it's back to Alfred.

The psychedelic eyeball was getting boring anyway..lol.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

3. whatever it is . you probably dont want to know.

[bicentennial_baby]

5. just cause we're all here does NOT mean

that we are all friends...keep that in mind

[VenusRising]

12. I wanna be your friend.

Your Rachel Ray stuff makes me :rofl: especially with the new quote from Chef Bourdain.

:pals:

[bicentennial_baby]

14. Glad to make you laugh

:pals:

[Fran Kubelik]

6. I was noticing something similar.

Junior high flashbacks. Weird. :( I wish people would either work out their problems privately or just ignore each other.

[Midlodemocrat]

11. It's only going to get worse as the primaries approach.

People snark at each other over EVERYTHING when someone indicates who they are supporting.

It gets ugly.

One of the reasons I won't say who I support in the primaries. Just because I disagree with someone over who I think the best candidate is or would be, doesn't mean that we all don't want the same end result.

And, you have to remember, trolls haunt this place. Why. I don't think I will ever figure out. What a useless waste of time.

[Fran Kubelik]

19. I guess I get fighting over politics, since that is why we are here...

And people can get passionate.
But in the last few days I have seen people make thinly veiled NASTY insults about things like body hair and oh...I dunno...I have been here for just a few weeks, and even I have begun to see who hates who in here. Does it get that ugly about candidates?

[hfojvt]

63. trolls haunt us and some of us haunt FR et. al.

I think it's sort of a normal desire to be curious about the 'enemy' and work to oppose their nefarious schemes, and further to be outraged at their ridiculous beliefs and ignorance and to attack them in debate with logic, truth, or maybe just ridicule. Hence the time we spend bashing Tweety, Annthrax, Oleilly, etc. We gotta know their spin points so we can counter them. Why shouldn't that be true for them as well? Plus they get to go back to their peeps and brag about how they entered the Lions' den and made a necklace out of all the lions' teeth they kicked out (if only in their own mind).

[zanne]

51. The "cliques" make people feel left out.

Just like in Junior High.

[VenusRising]

7. I have taken to reading things twice over

That way I try to make sure that I don't take a post other than the way the poster intended. Misunderstandings occur, but I don't understand the being nasty when it isn't necessary.

:shrug:

:hi:

[Bunny]

8. I've noticed that, since the Nuclear Block option was voted down,

a lot of the rudeness has been allowed to stand. In the past those posts would have been zapped, and some still are, but it seems like there's an awful lot of nastiness being permitted. Maybe top-down moderating of such a big site has become too burdensome?

[Maraya1969]

37. I'm going to use the "alert" button a lot more. Maybe we all should

[Oeditpus Rex]

10. It's because lionesspriyanka

is so gosh-darned HAWT.

:banghead:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

lol!

:P

:hug:

[Ariana Celeste]

15. hehe

that's what it always comes down to :D

[Oeditpus Rex]

16. Oh, and now YOU show up!

WHY CAN'T I CATCH A BREAK FROM THE HAWTNESS???!!!11 :cry:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

17. Oeditpus Rex: The DU'er smothered with hawtness!!

:p

[Oeditpus Rex]

18. Hawtness

that I shall never get to fully embrace. :cry:

[lizziegrace]

26. Poor baby...

:hug:

[BarenakedLady]

75. Seconded...

Though you, my dear Oeditpus, are purty darn hawt yourself! :hug: :loveya:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

99. hi bnl...

:hi:

[GirlinContempt]

13. What about people who don't deserve the effort it takes me

to pretend that they have anything valid to say?

[Rabrrrrrr]

20. Jesus - can't you ever post anything without resorting to smilies?

It's like you're some kind of fucking one-trick pony.

And this thread is entirely inconsistent with your thread of April 17, 2003. Or have you decided that when the fire is under YOUR feet, it's okay to whine to entire group?

:eyes:























:sarcasm: Just kidding - :hi:

[Maraya1969]

27. I love the smilies. They made the boo boos go away.

:hi:

Gawd I sound like such a kid. :P

[Jimbo S]

21. Maybe because the Dems are no longer shut out

Democrats win control of the Senate, public pressure mounting on the President.

When we were marginalized, we turned to ourselves for comfort. That's no longer the case.

[geiger]

24. I think there are just a lot of right-wing moles who have suddenly decided to hang out and

cause trouble if they can.

I make it a point not to be negative and to stay out of discussions that are clearly intended to be confrontational ESP between camps in our own Party. I can't stand it when people start attacking fellow Democrats. It's totally wrong.

[ghostsofgiants]

25. Because it's unthinkable that ideological or personal differences can exist within a political party

:eyes:

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

91. Your certainly right, there ARE differences, but I think the question

is about the juvenile (I've been guilty of it too I know) and nasty way that people use to argue over their differences. Democrats are generally more empathetic, or at the very least to just ignore them.

[billyskank]

97. Democrats aren't generally anything

Several times I have read how we are the "good people" over here (unlike that OTHER SITE) and then I go to another thread and see a vicous flame war and think, good people, yup...

[ghostsofgiants]

100. Exactly.

You're kidding yourself if you think that by virtue of being a Democrat, a person isn't a dickhead. I'll agree that the juvenile actions of a lot of people are sad, but I don't automatically expect them to not act like that because they're Democrats. (I expect them not to act that way because they're adults, but that's another story.)

[Danger Mouse]

29. Because my master plan is working.

Either that, or tensions are rising on DU, as I pointed out on a thread a week or two before...observing that people seem more inclined to snipe at one another lately, and it is progressively getting worse.

[idgiehkt]

30. mercury retrograde

mercury retrograde with the moon in Virgo and coming up on a lunar eclipse. As a Virgo, I'm completely screwed so nothing surprises me lol (Mercury rules Virgo).

[S n o w b a l l]

32. I didn't know Mercury ruled Virgo too Idgie..

Gemini too. I should take the advice and STFU until the 8th. :) (And after wouldn't be a bad idea either).

[idgiehkt]

33. yes

it sucks. Don't shut up, though. :hug: :hi:

[MorningGlow]

62. Seconded

That was what I thought of as soon as I saw this thread title. So this, too, shall pass--eventually. Is it just me, or is this particular Mercury Retrograde especially strong with regard to people sniping at one another?

Makes me want to... :hide:

[S n o w b a l l]

31. If there was no contentiousness..

I'd be like living in the matrix.

I prefer reality. And the reality is there will be disagreements...I hate the candy cane dreams and marshmello kisses fakeness.

If you have a thought, express it....we spend our days smiling and sucking up our feelings to keep peace in our everyday worlds because we have to. Why can't we be honest here?

Why is so uncomfortable to see people disagree? It's just life.

[hfojvt]

77. if you weren't so beautiful

you'd know that insulting and disagreeing are two different things.

"But honesty, Dr. Margolin explained, was not necessarily communication. 'To engage a man you don't like in conversation for the purpose of trying to understand if your dislike of him is justified is communication. Telling him he's an SOB is not.'"

I wonder if it is not various factions deciding that certain people 'are not with us'. Seems to be a post-Snickers thing, although that does not seem to me as big a dust-up as any of our other wars. Plus I have made posts in the past where I found old threads where people complained about the viciousness of GD almost from the beginning of DU. Still, our active poster to moderator ratio is higher than in the past and so perhaps fewer posts are getting deleted and fewer posters getting reined in or removed.

[graywarrior]

34. I had to resort to using Ignore.

Not that I'm probably on a few ignore's myself.

[Tsiyu]

35. UMS

Ugly Mood Swings x(

[Guava Jelly]

38. I think we are argument-ive by nature.

We are so enraged by events and republicans and since there are none here we attack each other.
I have seen it and I am ashamed to say I have attacked a few myself..I'm trying to not do that anymore.
What makes me angry is when somebody is down or having a bad day or does an "I'm leaving" type post.
And people attack with snark.
I mean STFU is a good rule to live by if you cant say anything nice.

[GirlinContempt]

42. I think when you start adding clauses

to the "stfu" rule, it loses its meaning.

[Guava Jelly]

48. I think people just need to be a little less snarky

I hate seeing people kicked when they are down.
It takes a pretty mean spirited person to do that.

[Rhythm]

65. yeah... well you're a big doodie-head!

so there... nyah!

















/just kidding... :yourock:

[Guava Jelly]

79. so!! you eat poop

and you are mean! :rofl: :hi::7 of course i'm joking

[Robeson]

39. The road to the White House seems to be gearing up a little earlier...

...this time around, so everyone is dividing up into camps, while placing knives into each other's backs.

[Callalily]

40. Yes I've noticed that

too, and it's very disturbing. Some nasty comments clearly surprised and disturbed me. Seemed so out of character. The Lounge has not been so nice and friendly lately.

[cwydro]

41. I agree

Lately I haven't even bothered to login...I'll spend a little time lurking and see all the STUPID flame wars and pissing contests and just go away again. There are still a few fun threads here and there. I don't understand why people who don't like each other just don't stay away from each other; that's what I do.

[NewWaveChick1981]

43. This is one of the reasons I haven't posted much in the last couple of weeks.

:yoiks: The other reason is that my time has been eaten up by putting out fires (figurative ones, that is) at work. The last two weeks have called for long hours to combat the bullshit. I have a handle on it and know things will get better within a couple of months, but it's not easy right now.

You won't see me picking fights or being rude or nasty to anyone. :) I just don't do that, either here or in real life.

[SPKrazy]

85. That's Because You Are

cool!

:yourock:

I guess I haven't noticed it much, but a little here in the lounge

I hardly ever venture out into GD anymore, it is so much like posting on Yahoo sometimes, you say something and get attacked.

:shrug:

:hug:

:hi:

[undeterred]

44. I posted about being fired last night

in both the lounge and GD, and some of the GD replies were, well, hurtful. Obviously I am very upset right now, and looking more for support than anything else. But some of what I got was here's my advice and then people who start discussing me in my own thread as if I wasn't there. Well beyond anything I asked for or needed, well beyond what I considered helpful at this moment. I am now sorry I posted in GD about something painful.

[Lasher]

49. I've started hiding here in the lounge when it gets nasty in GD

There's less chance you'll get your feelings hurt here.

Sorry about losing your job. Really. :hug:

[LostinVA]

60. UGH -- I didn't see those replies

I just saw the first few. I was going to post something to you, but everything sounded so trite. Being laid off and/or fired sucks.

[undeterred]

72. even the trite helps

just knowing people care helps... having people tell you what they know you should do (even when they couldn't possibly know enough about the situation you are in to be practically helpful) and then get pissy and judgmental is as bad as well... having a good friend whose response to telling him you just lost your job is asking when you're going to pay back the money you owe him. I felt despondent, then I felt even worse.

Dogs know how to just be there, snuggle up close, and say nothing.

[LostinVA]

81. I've been laid off, and that sucked

The way you were fired is even worse -- so underhanded.

I really am sorry, because I know the fear, panic, and betrayal stuff like this makes you feel.

:sigh:

And, I really am sorry about the jibes directed at you. I wish I had seen them last night.

[Madspirit]

69. I'm sorry

I'm really sorry you lost your job.
Lee

[undeterred]

73. thank you

:hi: :scared: :cry:

[bridgit]

45. picayune, some or certain contingents prefer being picayune with their allies...

than breathing oxygen, too many specialized, self centered interests imo, oh sure...it's said to be a big tent; but some patch work quilts were never meant to be fashioned cause i've seen them at the state fair just hanging there, clearly with little rhyme or reason

sadly, though while i agree, "You can disagree with someone and be nice to them at the same time." are words un-found in their lexicon

:kick:

[NC_Nurse]

46. I guess that's why I fell less like posting lately.

I'm not big on confrontation. I keep a lot of my opinions to myself. Oh well.

[bridgit]

47. hey, NC_N...

just say'n hey that's all :hi:

[NC_Nurse]

50. Well, aren't you sweet!

:hi:

[zanne]

52. Teach me!

I can't keep my mouth shut.

[NC_Nurse]

53. Lol!

Maybe we can learn from each other. I wish I had the stomach to deal with people's reactions to my
opinions. Even on an internet board I'm shy. Sheesh! :eyes:

[Poiuyt]

54. I was attacked here in the Lounge yesterday in a very mean-spirted way

In four years of posting that has never happened to me in the GD. I thought the Lounge was supposed to be friendlier.

[bicentennial_baby]

56. The Lounge is like Thunderdome

The bitchiness and snarkiness knows no bounds in here...A thick skin is definitely required.

[Scout1071]

95. It used to be much friendlier.

But, many of the best Lounge posters are long gone.

I agree with the OP that the Lounge has changed. But, I think DU has changed all the way around. I don't enjoy it nearly as much anymore.

[av8rdave]

55. Sad to see, but I don't let it get to me. After all...

I've been married....twice.

[Ms_Dem_Meanor]

57. You are very much right.

We are all on the same team. It's just that every team has members that you just have to either kick them in the knee caps or knock them on their ass every now and then to get them be on the same page of the playbook as the rest of us. Those are a good majority of the ones in GD and GDP. :hi:

[Mad_Dem_X]

94. "kick them in the kneecaps"

There's that phrase again! :hi:

[Zookeeper]

61. GD is full of people being contrary, just to be contrary...

and some are doing it in the most impolite way possible.

I don't mind a good, sound debate, but, childish, redundant, hostile arguing just saps my energy. (I get enough of that from one of my teens, thank you very much.)

It seems a little early in the election season to start hating people over possible Presidential nominees.

The last time I posted in GD it was to congratulate a DUer for being featured in a magazine, and someone jumped all over me for not explaining the entire backstory in my OP. She was so nasty about it that I wasn't inclined to explain it to her.

You've said it best, Maraya. "You can disagree with someone and be nice to them at the same time."

:hi:

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

64. Thank you for this

I rarely come to the lounge, but I can tell you the rudeness and bickering are strong all over the boards. I've been seriously considering not posting because of it. Your post gives me the strength to go on.

[terrya]

67. I don't want to appear rude around here.

But there are people who have come in the Lounge and post, without provocation, just the most incredibly rude, nasty comments towards whole groups of people. Blanket generalizations. I won't name names.

But if a person comes in here with that kind of attitude, people will respond in kind.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

70. What I do

is put them on Ignore. Then they can't bother me again.

[crim son]

68. I must be hanging out with the right DU people

because I haven't noticed the snarkiness you refer to. Usually my posts are disregarded unless they're in a thread I started myself.

[BarenakedLady]

74. *smooch*

I miss all the nasty stuff myself...probably because I'm too busy posting naughty things to notice. bwahahahahaha

Speaking of that, I've been totally slacking in naughtiness. You think I could get someone to spank me? :evilgrin:

[crim son]

84. I think you'd have no trouble!

It can't be me though... I'm too tired :7

[SPKrazy]

87. Sure...

:shrug:

you never ask me to spank you though

:hi:

[billyskank]

98. ...

:spank:

[SPKrazy]

86. Sure they are...

Of course I don't stalk you (much) anymore :rofl:

:hi:

[crim son]

88. I don't take it personally that you've lost interest in me.

:cry:

[SPKrazy]

89. No, you shouldn't

because I didn't lose interest in you

you made a comment that I replied to your posts all the time once and I then felt like I was being a stalker LOL

:hug:

[crim son]

93. That was, like, the first week you appeared in the Lounge!

I apologize. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

96. No...

no apology necessary

I'll stalk you instead :rofl:


:hug:

no, I probably won't because you post earlier in the day and I'd have to search your posts and I'm too lazy...:P


:hi:

[Shell Beau]

71. It absolutely sucks when that happens. We all will have our differences,

but if you can't put your opinion out there in a non-snarky or non-sarcastic tone, then just don't respond. I hate to see people let anger get the better of them especially when it comes to people you usually have a good relationship with.

[TheBaldyMan]

76. maybe the lunar eclipse?

:shrug:

[idgiehkt]

78. we all just need to tune into this guy's radio show

and kick back and relax
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bz7WGrLJDjM

[Zookeeper]

82. ....

That made me smile.

Thanks, Idgie!

:hi:

[idgiehkt]

83. I wish I enjoyed my job as much as he does, lol

He reminds me of a man I saw once...I was driving down clemson blvd in South Carolina on the part before you get to the school where there is just basically nothing, in my little old toyota and blaring "Red Red Wine" by UB40 out of my radio; I came to a stop light and there was an African American man standing there on the corner, wearling all white, except for a sash with the colors of Jamaica across his chest, and when he heard my radio he just started dancing, right out in the middle of everything. It's one of my most cherished memories for alot of reasons...the dusty dirty small town nothingness kind of contrasted with the crisp white suit he had on, the joy on his face when he heard my music, his un-self-conscious glee...that kind of thing is so rare, I think.

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

80. Drama queen season?

hopefully it will pass soon.

[Frank Cannon]

90. Oh, just shut the fuck up and quit complaining.

Just kiddin'. :spank: I've noticed it too, and LOTS MORE "concern trolls" hanging around than ever before.

[ContraBass Black]

92. I can't remember any day when there wasn't a "Why aren't DUers nice anymore?" thread.