Let's build the absolutely most pure candidate that can't be called DINO - come on!!

[Rabrrrrrr]

Let's take all the bullshit mini-issues that get people's underwear in a knot, and build ourselves the perfectly pure democratic candidate that will pass all purity tests that we've seen here on DU. I'll start:

1. Has to be for the impeachment of the current president, even though by the time he/she is elected, he/she won't be in a position to impeach the current president.

2. Has to be a vegetarian who will promise not only that the white house will be stricly vegetarian at its most narrow form, but that meat eaters won't even be invited to the White House and that no cook who's ever even been in the presence of a dead animal will get a job there.

3. Can't ever have voted for or been in support of anything that anyone finds offensive, even if he/she has since had a total change of mind and admitted to being wrong. Sorry candidate, but wrong once - wrong always, in everything, automatically.

4. Can't be from a red state.

5. Has to be in favor of paper only ballots AND has to proclaim loudly against voter fraud in the last two elections. Has to consider that Florida and Ohio are actually blue states because of voter fraud that kep Gore and Kerry from the presidency.

6. But can't consider those states blue for purposes of being able to be from one of those states (see #4).

7. Can't ever have owned stock in any company whatsoever

8. Can't live in a house of more than 1000 square feet

9. Can't make more than the poverty line in income.

10. Should be well-educated and super smart, but not from an elite college that doesn't accept low achievers and/or cost too much. A community college is good, but not from a red state, and certainly not a Christian college. A public university is also good, but not one from a red state, and not one that allows fraternities, sororities, Christian clubs, gets grants from the military, has professors that support Israel, has professors that support Palestine, have sports teams, or has dorms that aren't 100% Green in energy usage. Oh, and the school can't have any rich alumni/ae.

how many more can you add?

[MoseyWalker]

1. Dennis Kucinich

fits like a glove!

[LeftyMom]

3. AND he drives a hybrid.

Dennis FTW! :woohoo:

[flvegan]

5. AND he's vegan!

'Round here, that might not be a positive, though, regardless.

[LeftyMom]

6. AND Mrs. K is a hottie.

Okay, that doesn't have anything to do with anything, but it can't hurt. :)

[Gold Metal Flake]

2. Henry Wallace for the win.

Kiss my ass if you don't agree.

Well, don't kiss my ass. That would be mean of me. But, seriously. Henry Wallace. I know he's dead. OK, Feingold. I don't wanna deal with make-believes. Sorry for being a poopyhead.

[LostInAnomie]

4. Must be an Anarcho-Communist or Anarcho-Primitivist.

I will accept NOTHING less!