Skater's despair

[ThatsMyBarack]

I am a competitive adult figure skater who skates in a lot of competitions and comes in last/near last in just about all of them. The more people I skate against who beat me, the more embarrassing it is. I know I should be skating "just for fun", but losing so much is no fun at all. In fact, it is downright insulting and frustrating. Still, I keep trying hoping that one day I will win (or at least medal) in one of them. That will be an event so miraculous that I will celebrate by bringing donuts to work my next workday. Unfortunately, I usually show up for work fuming instead.

On St. Patrick's Day weekend, I am slated to go to Minneapolis to skate in a major competition against 12 other ladies. This is a Qualifying Sectional event. The top four skaters qualify to skate the Championship round in Chicago (my home town) in April. Unfortunately, I don't think any of my skills are good enough to get me out of the bottom of the barrel, much less place in the top four. I've seen them on video, and they are nowhere near as "new and improved" as I'd thought. Disappointing.

Yesterday, after coming in second and last in yet another competition, I asked my coach if I should really compete in Minneapolis in two weeks. He was not happy to hear me ask this, and he gave me yet another "Skate for fun, skate for yourself" lecture. That is not easy for me to do because I keep losing and feeling like shit. My greatest fear is losing big, losing my temper, and losing my freedom (in that order). So, what it boils down to is I have to choose between disappointing my coach or trading in my skating dress for an orange suit.

I used to get in trouble posting this stuff on competitive skaters' boards, so no flaming please.

[petronius]

1. The good things about competitive events are 'fun' and 'winning'

It's best if you can have both, but one or the other is good too. If you're having neither, and your honest assessment is that that situation won't change, then why put yourself through it?

Is it possible that you could find joy in skating through another avenue - training without the competition, or coaching, or suchlike?

(Disclaimer: I know nothing about you or figure skating, and making life-changing decisions should not be based on the opinions of strangers on the internet...)

[Redstone]

2. Well, if it's "insulting and frustrating," you can always stop doing it and be happier, yes?

Redstone

[ThatsMyBarack]

3. I've actually considered both of those options....

....but sometimes I get a surprise/miracle win out of nowhere, and that keeps me going.

[SPKrazy]

4. For What It's Worth...

I'd say screw your coach? I mean it is your life... if this isn't making you happy anymore, then maybe it's time to change what you do.

:hug:

[Maraya1969]

5. Hope this doesn't sound trite but maybe check out [u]The Secret[/u]

It's all about making things happen by believing in them. I can tell by the way that you write you set yourself up for failure. Many athlete's use visualization to help them. Visualize a perfect performance. Visualize getting a medal.

I'm really impressed that you can skate!!! I can't even imagine how hard it must have been to learn. And I can't fathom doing those jumps or even skating backward!

Wait a minute I just looked up at your post and you said you came in second yesterday. Isn't that supposed to be good?

Well, I for one and very impressed. It would be great if you could post a pic.


:yourock:

[flamingyouth]

6. It sounds like you're pretty frustrated and not enjoying it.

Maybe you can take a break from the competitive circuit? I wouldn't worry so much about what your coach thinks and concentrate more on your own feelings. If you want to withdraw from the Minneapolis competition, do it. BTW, I'm a great fan of figure skating and respect the hard work that goes into it, no matter where the skaters place. :)

[idgiehkt]

7. my thoughts on reading this are

that of course if you really feel you are going to do something to cause yourself to get arrested after a competition, of course you should not compete. If I am reading that sentence right...am I?

And is your coach more afraid of losing the income you generate for him than the effect of this on your mental health? Is it really that he or she will be disappointed or that they will have to find a new source of the income they will lose if you quit?

I am a huge figure skating fan and I know that it is a very strange little subculture.

[rug]

8. Maybe you can borrow Tonya Harding's rolodex.

[grasswire]

9. you beat me to it

I was going to ask if the OP is Tonya.