Ladies, the "Pervy Vibe."

[XemaSab]

How would you describe it to a male friend?

How would you point out examples of this?

'Cause I have to say, if there is a 6th sense, it's the pervert sense. :scared:

[SPKrazy]

1. Just Say, "You know, like SPK"

they'll understand

:shrug:

[idgiehkt]

59. you goofball

lol. :hi:

[SPKrazy]

60. Yeah?

it took someone this long to notice me here saying that too..

:crazy:

:hi:

[XemaSab]

63. I was trying to figure out WTF you were saying for a *while* last night

:P

[SPKrazy]

65. Oh, Well ...

sometimes I don't know WTF I'm saying...

I was trying to be funny, but at that time of night, everything seems funny to me...:rofl:

:hi:

[XemaSab]

68. I hear ya

Getting high off the midnight oil. :P

[SPKrazy]

69. Yeah, Too Much

midnight oil

gotta get down in the bed earlier tonight, I mean get to bed earlier tonight :P

[blonndee]

2. example:

Kurt Cobain dirty grunge rocker vibe... no corresponding example

[XemaSab]

3. But with that example there are visual clues

The hair, the clothes, the manner of speaking...

The pervy vibe knows not these things. :shrug:

[blonndee]

5. But my pervy vibe does, though.

the hair,the voice, the dirty clothes...it all corresponds with a certain vibe. Know what I mean?

[XemaSab]

8. Are you really a female?

Because I have met pervy guys of every race, color, creed, age, sexual orientation, and class. Some of them are slobs, some of them aren't.

Often you have to get to know a guy a little to see it.

[blonndee]

9. Do you mean to imply I'm not feminine?

[XemaSab]

10. Well, I guess I just disagree with your assessment

What cues would you pick up on that a guy is a pervert? :shrug:

(Other than the obvious trenchcoat with 8 inches of hairy leg showing beneath).

[blonndee]

12. ???What???

I'm totally not following...

[XemaSab]

15. You're saying you can tell perverts by looking at them

I am saying it's more subtle, and asking you what you cue in on.

[blonndee]

17. No, I didn't say that at all. n/t

[XemaSab]

21. Sorry for the misunderstanding

It's a bit late. :P

[Xipe Totec]

53. How 'bout the hurl radius?

The minimum distance you can reach before the perp's BO causes you to toss your cookies?

[leftofthedial]

4. whoa!

who you calling a perv?

Just because a guy deserves a spanking once in awhile . . .

sheesh.

[reyd reid reed]

6. Deserves?

or deserves. Have you earned a spanking?

[XemaSab]

7. OK, let me clarify:

The BAD pervy vibe. :scared:

As opposed to the "Give me 5 minutes and I'll join you" pervy vibe. :D

[Oeditpus Rex]

14. Ah, *now* I get it!

*reclines in chair, hands clasped behind head, serene in his good perviness*

[XemaSab]

18. Masturbating to the AKC website=

bad pervy. x(

[Oeditpus Rex]

19. Now

can we have one of your examples of good pervy?



Quick, before it locks! :bounce:

[XemaSab]

22. Good pervy=

you remember that thread from the other day about the teens busted in the library?

I will say no more. :D

[Oeditpus Rex]

24. Want me to give you one?

:evilgrin:

[XemaSab]

26. Give me one what?

ps Soliciting for sex on the internet= not good.

[Oeditpus Rex]

28. ...

I knew you were gonna do that. :spank:

[Heidi]

11. I don't get pervy vibes about people,

if by "vibe" you mean an intuition that someone might be "pervy." I'm not trying to be a spoilsport here, but I've heard lots of people described as "pervy" when, in fact, they were just quiet, or loners, or not socialized in the same way the majority of us are.

When I'm uncomfortable with someone, I'd most likely describe the behaviors that make me feel uncomfortable. Nine of of 10 times, my vibes have more to do with me and my own limitations than the person I might be describing. :shrug:

*Heidi, putting down the caffeine and backing slowly out of the Lounge.*

[XemaSab]

13. I'm talking about the guy practically wearing a sandwich board that says

"You don't want to shake my hand." :P

[Heidi]

16. I know you're joking,

but I guess that person would have to behave in a way that made me uncomfortable before I felt compelled to tell someone about it. :shrug:

[Oeditpus Rex]

20. Like, say

wearing chrome shoes? :shrug:

[Heidi]

23. I don't think that's a pervy behavior.

It's just loud and distasteful. :shrug:

[XemaSab]

25. I'm saying in a way that's not overt

Like every woman in my office gets a bad vibe off this one dude. He hasn't DONE anything. He's neatly dressed and always polite, but there's just a freaky vibe there. :shrug:

[Oeditpus Rex]

27. Ah, okay

So, not necessarily a dude who wears a trench coat when it's 92 degrees and always has dirty fingernails.

Gotcha. :thumbsup:

[XemaSab]

29. Totally

I think it's a bit like the fabled "easy" vibe men get off of women. Not that I have ever seen evidence of this, it's all hypothetical, but some women just have a way about them that draws men like flies... even the really truly homely ones. :shrug:

[Oeditpus Rex]

31. I know what you mean

It's an aura. They just... know. :shrug:



Then again, I totally :loveya: a coquette.

[XemaSab]

32. Totally!

Like today I was talking to a male friend about some mutual acquaintances and I said I thought this one dude was a pervert. My friend was baffled about why I would think this, but I just *know.* This guy has that "I spend my evenings in the shrubbery outside the girls dorm" vibe. :P

Oh, and on edit, he later mentioned he liked this one girl. I said "But she has a boyfriend" and he said "That doesn't mean she's not available." :shrug:

[Oeditpus Rex]

36. He's right

It doesn't.

But it's still tacky to say that, or even to think about it. Same as crap like "I'm not married, my wife is." :eyes:

[XemaSab]

37. It may be tacky, but it's honest

I'd prefer honesty from guys than crap. :P

[Oeditpus Rex]

39. I'd prefer

someone who didn't think that way to begin with.

[XemaSab]

40. Well yeah, said male friend gives offf the pervy vibe

not in a BAD way, but not in a GOOD way, and that is why we are just friends. :P

[Heidi]

30. In a case like that, I probably wouldn't talk among my colleagues

unless the guy had done or said something pervy. I've seen far too many people pushed to the outside of the office circle based on "vibes." x(

[Omphaloskepsis]

43. I don't get the joke..

Would you mind explaining?

[ellisonz]

54. If you hadn't said that I would have...

The "in" crowd loves words like "pervy" "creepy" or "sketchy" because it allows them to distance themselves from the basic fact that all humans are morally corrupt/perveted/deficient/call it what you will to an extent.

I hate people who love groups.

[XemaSab]

64. Since when am I part of the in crowd?

:shrug:

[marzipanni]

33. Is 'not being able to stop focusing on her breasts while talking to a woman

while opaque saliva webs (dehydrating drool?) form at the corners of his mouth' too obvious?

[XemaSab]

34. I've only met a few of those

but that would be an example, yes. :D

[Connonym]

35. Not all that different from the sense you get from someone dishonest

except their aura says perv instead of liar. It's just as likely to go off for someone well dressed and polite as it is for someone slobby. I tend to be way too trusting of people but every once in a while the perv-o-meter will go off. Because I normally don't sense that I tend to go with my instinct when I do.

[XemaSab]

38. Interesting analogy

I don't pick liars out easily at all. It's always shocking if I KNOW someone's lying how little they give away. :shrug:

[Guava Jelly]

41. I see perverted people!

They post on Message boards and pm their butts to Innocent women"
"they don't know they are perverts"
:rofl:

[NewWaveChick1981]

42. The Pervy Vibe by itself doesn't bother me. It's the Creepy Vibe that does.

:scared: If Creepy and Pervy are contained in the same person, I ignore the Pervy Vibe and focus on Creepy. I get the hell away then... :yoiks:

[Omphaloskepsis]

45. Any tips on getting Creepy..?

Sometimes I want to be left alone..

[AmyDeLune]

52. Okay...

Stare at someone intensely. Look away quickly when they look at you, but not so quickly that they don't know you were staring at them. Repeat. Have Fun!:evilgrin: :P

[Omphaloskepsis]

44. Luckily I don't emit the pervy vibe...

I give off the skinny nerd that will fix your computer for ice cream vibe.. I like it this way.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

46. It's hard to descrbie, but some men just set off my Creep Detector

Standing too close, inappropriate touching (and not in a friendly bear-hug way, but in an arrogant way), staring with intense eyes, speaking in a "bedroom tinged" voice in an inappropriate setting, and yet, making subtly disparaging remarks about women. One kept wanting to meet me for dinner, but I always said, "Great. As long as it's after your wife gets off work so she can join us." And somehow the dinner never happened.

In professional contexts over the years, I had to deal with two men who set off the Creep Detector. I later found out that both of them had sexually abused their daughters.

[dropkickpa]

49. Yeah, creepy bugs me WAY more

I'm more than a little pervy myself. But creepy is on the run away list. My division director is like that, inappropriate comments, "accidental" boob brushes, inappropriate staring. Blech. What's fucked is that there have historically been several complaints about him, but the people who complain end up quitting because nothing gets done with "little man". He is my site supervisor now, so I actually have to spend time now and then in his prescence. I pretty much tell him "I'll deal with it, you don't need to come down here" and he leaves me to my own devices.

[idgiehkt]

61. you make a good point

something I've noticed as well is that the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle, lol) misogyny and the pervy/creepy vibe go hand in hand. It's like these men have a love/hate relationship with the opposite sex, and they really don't hide it all that well.

[mainegreen]

62. I always stare with intense eyes!

I generally am missing that aversion to looking in peoples eyes. Half the time I don't realize how weird it is to stare at someones eyes you don't know without looking away/etc.

[Dangerously Amused]

66. Lydia hit many of the major Creep indications.

A few more Perv indications come to mind:


Pervs will often arrange their lives so that any contact others have with them is under strictly controlled (by them) circumstances.

Another indication is ultra-secrecy of personal information which doesn't make sense given the context, or lame excuses for not giving information, or for giving false information: What do you mean you can never remember the correct spelling of your middle name?!?

Also, a degree of seeming paranoia, and a "victim of circumstances" mentality when discussing past life experiences.

[gmoney]

47. You rang?

How about golden vibes?


Giggity giggity...

[XemaSab]

48. For the "golden vibe" I look at the guy's car, job, and whether he owns a home

:D

Unfortunately, so far the golden vibe has failed to translate into tangible benefits for yours truly. :P

[billyskank]

50. How am I doing?

I'm a computer programmer, I own my flat, and I drive this:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=6053793

:rofl:

[XemaSab]

67. Suweet!

You want to buy me dinner? :D

[supernova]

51. The way they look at you

sometimes sets off my creep detector.

I was at the flea market a few weeks ago in a bookseller's stall. I was mindlessly enjoying going down the aisle reading the spines when I hear behind me "So where's your husband?" I turn around to see this 6' 5" 300 lb guy just leering almost on top of me! (I'm about 5 ft tall.) :scared:

[LSK]

55. shit! now I have to hide my tons of porn....

:popcorn:

[BreweryYardRat]

56. I can't help that I tend to stare. Staring and ogling's in my nature.

Doesn't mean I'm a potential rapist (Dear God no!), doesn't mean I'm going to start stalking people (did it once over IM, and skeeved myself out after about three days), and it sure doesn't mean I'm going to grab your tits.

And frankly, I'm kind of insulted. Some of us didn't win the socialization lottery, so we may act pervy or creepy and not be able to do much, if anything, about it.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

71. People can work at changing their behavior.

Saying you can't help but act pervy and creepy is a HUGE cop out.

[BreweryYardRat]

74. I have worked on changing my behavior.

I'm a hell of a lot less pervy than I was in high school.

[bicentennial_baby]

72. Oh bullshit...

Ew....Just ew. And, again, bullshit. You could do a lot, like evolve, for instance....

"It's in my nature!" :puke:

[crim son]

57. I know the vibe and you're right - it has nothing to do with

any physical aspects of the man, although these may enhance it. Whatever it is, it's an alarm bell that I listen to, every time.

[Shine]

58. I think your words describe it perfectly.

It's just a general sense of feeling uncomfortable around a particular someone. It's all very intuitive-based.

:hi:

[Left Is Write]

70. I don't know how I'd describe it other than "the pervy vibe."

You just know.

[Jamastiene]

73. I would tell them to imagine the worst looking female

they could think of, one that revolts them, and then imagine her having more strength than him and imagine her hanging all over him and trying to have her way with him. That's the closest I could come to explaining it to a man. Most men I know don't have any women they could imagine NOT wanting though, unfortunately. So my struggle continues. Why, oh why, did I have to be the first to evolve in North Carolina?

[AlCzervik]

75. i took my daughter out to lunch today, 12 years old btw and we walk in and

some guy starts leering at her, like looking at her like she she had no clothes on and he had this disgusting little smile on his face. It's the leering and that guy is lucky i didn't kick him in the balls.