letters to corporations #98754

[Kali]

This was an actual letter sent to Kotex by somebody who works for
>the Netcare Group.
>
> >Dear Kotex,
> >
> >I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my panty liner had a
> >bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:
> >
> >
> >* Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
> >* Avoiding caffeine or chocolate may help reduce cramps and
> >headaches.
> >* Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and
> >feeling fresh.
> >* Try Kotex blah blah blah other products
> >
> >Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never
> >possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating
>woman
> >that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh.
> >See what happens and report back. I'll wait.
> >
> >While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the
> >chocolate from the vending machine. I guaran-friggin-tee that the first
> >responders will be females who just ovulated..
> >
> >Look, women don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene
> >products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that
> >from their elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted
> >their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol.
> >
> >Printing out shit advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that
> >was already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and
> >enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.
> >
> >Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these products. It's
> >not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or
> >bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging.
> >Put the shit in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts
> >discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer. There is
> >nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing
> >your uterine state to everyone in the store.
> >
> >So take your tips for living and shove them right up your ass.
> >
> >Ovarily Yours,
> >
> >Miss PMS