My ex of two days just texted me about the Libby trial

[Lilith Velkor]

...as if he hadn't dumped me just when I found out about a serious medical problem. :nuke:

Any perspective on what the fuck is wrong with people, or sympathy, or even subtly coded dick and fart jokes would be most appreciated at the moment.

:cry: :beer:

[Midlodemocrat]

1. I don't know any fart jokes. I live with one, my 14yo son.

But, here's a :hug: for your medical problem. Here's hoping it isn't that serious.

[Lilith Velkor]

5. bwahaha!

Thanks. :hug:

It's seriously painful, I can tell ya that much.

[taterguy]

2. Post a rude comment about your exes dick

It'll make you feel much better

[Lilith Velkor]

6. A rude comment about my entire ex

Ahhh...yes.

[dropkickpa]

3. Want me to kick him for you? I'd do it!

My 6 year-old daughter says "Boys are dumb, mommy!" Little kids see a lot clearer than we do sometimes. Of course, Dropkid also thinks that the Allegheny river is infested with sharks and alligators, and that is why we have locks and dams, to keep them from killing each other.

[Lilith Velkor]

8. Interesting

I never knew that about the Allegheny river. It's good to know somebody is thinking of endangered species-es.

[Hugin]

4. Why is it that after I eat beans I wake up cold at night?

:rofl: <-- Fart joke.

People are idjuts. <-- Observation on the human condition.

:hug: <-- Sympathy.

Ah! A trifecta! :woohoo:

:D

[Lilith Velkor]

10. w00t!

(not to be confused with t00t!) :hide:

[crim son]

7. He's either experiencing regret or he wants to play the good guy.

To hell with him; that's my advice. :hug:

[Lilith Velkor]

11. Never play the good guy with a Satanist.

That's my advice and muchas grassy-ass for the huggle. :hug:

[crim son]

12. Apparently he doesn't know you as well as he should! n/t

[Lilith Velkor]

17. More likely the regret thing

Apparently throwing away a six-year relationship because your partner actually needs you isn't as easy as it looks. Who knew? :banghead:

[Richard Steele]

9. I don't know any subtly coded dick jokes. Sorry.

:hug:

[Lilith Velkor]

13. Yeah, gotta be careful these days

Goddamn civilized people taking over the fucking internet and shit :grr:

Thanks, sweetie! :pals:

[Lance_Boyle]

15. ick-day oke-jay

they don't come any more subtly coded than that, except for the infamous double ROT-13...

[necso]

14. I ran into a

(sometimes) buddy of mine like two weeks ago, and we talked about a mutual friend (who'd finally made it onto the sometimes-buddy's sh*t-list).

"Everybody" has been wondering where this person is (he hasn't surfaced at any of his regular haunts for months), and I suggested that he'd found a new "host" and was engaged in "an extended session of parasitism". (If in jail or otherwise in serious trouble, he would've called people we know -- and me probably, although I couldn't do much.)

(Hey, we thought it was hilarious -- we're kind-of a tough lot.)

[Lilith Velkor]

18. hee

It's been a dog's age since I associated with any parasites.

I'm very lonely, but there are far worse things than loneliness.

[necso]

20. One must be careful to

(try to) control one's state (very roughly state-of-mind, but considering the close interconnections between mind and body, more like state-of-mind-and-body), especially when ill, in-pain, stressed, under pressure, etc... and most especially when under the influence of multiple stressors.

I'm not suggesting it's easy.

[mainegreen]

16. pull my finger...

:P

Or watch this:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8297574364836044520

[Lilith Velkor]

19. Now that's the stuff.

:rofl:

But why were the chickens following him around? Were they trying to get high or something?

[Phillycat]

21. What a cock.

Some people just need to be slapped around a little.

Sorry. :hug:

[Lilith Velkor]

23. Word.

Love your sig!

[Miss_Strawberry]

22. ugghh

I can offer much sympathy. Something similiar happened to me. You are better off without him.

[Lilith Velkor]

24. Thanks

Welcome to tha DU, Miss Strawb. :toast:

[hippywife]

25. I can't think of any

dick jokes at the moment (I know they're in there somewhere but just not surfacing at the moment!) but I can share this little email my sister sent me today that's good for a little chuckle:

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 5-year-old girl, to hold the light high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently Kathleen did as she was asked. Her mother Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 5-year-old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack his ass again."

for your medical issues. Going through some myself at the moment so I fully sympathize.

[Lilith Velkor]

26. ...

:spray:

(ow that kinda hurt)