Something's not right in my ex's brain.

[LeftyMom]

I called him up today to see about him keeping the kid while I'm on vacation. We talked about it for a minute, and as I'm about to hang up he says "be careful."

"Huh?" I said, "Are you worried I'll get my heart broken?"

"No, not that at all. Just be careful on the plane and at the airport."

"Planes are safer than driving, you know."

"That's not what I mean."

"Now I'm confused- do you mean pickpockets at the airport? Overly touchy security people? Packing my laptop carefully?"

"No, did you hear that news story... uhm... about the lady on the plane today? I heard about it on the radio this morning."

Oh goodness, morning radio... I think I know what this story is, thanks to the wonder that is Matcom News. "You mean the lady that got an unwanted money shot on a plane?"

"Yeah, there are weird people out there."

"Okay, I promise if anybody whips their junk out near me while I'm flying, they'll be able to take it home in their carry-on."

"Good, just keep your eyes out and be careful."

I swear, I'm taking a cross-country trip, and the first thing he worries about is that some wannabe porn star will shoot his wad on me on the plane. No sense of probability or proportion at all. You honestly can't make this shit up. No wonder he's my ex, eh? :eyes:

[qnr]

1. Sounds like a reasonable train of thought to me. BTW, are you sure planes

are safer than flying :) heheh

[Radical Activist]

4. I was wondering

about that line as well. :)

[qnr]

11. I felt guilty bringing it, considering the philosophical depth of the ex's concern

But then I figured, "what the heck!"

[LeftyMom]

13. The thing is, he's got no capacity for humor.

He is really quote concerned about this. :crazy:

[qnr]

14. Ugh. That sux. Also, I think he is spying on you, otherwise, how would he be

privy to matcom news articles? Huh? Huh?

[LeftyMom]

15. The local morning radio idiots love crap like this.

He spends his mornings in a truck, so it doesn't surprise me that he heard it that way.

[qnr]

16. Ah drat. And there I was, looking for a spare tinfoil hat... :) n/t

[LeftyMom]

18. I once was getting a highlight job as the salon closed, and they sent me home with my hair wrapped

in foil ( I wasn't a paying customer, my mom's friend was doing my dye job in exchange for my mom cutting her hair.) So there my mom and I are, sitting in her car, which now smells like hair dye, in traffic, while strangers stare at my head, which looks like I glued three dozen pieces of foil wrapped chicken to it. That was just great. :sigh:

Nothing to do with anything, but that's my foil on my head story.

[qnr]

20. And a good one it is. In my case, I have a self-imposed quarterly "drat" and "harumph"

quota that I have to fulfill, the tinfoil part was a throwaway

[LeftyMom]

6. Well, since I don't have wings at all, I'm sure they are.

:D

I'll got fix it.

[qnr]

9. heheh

[bridgit]

2. k...

[Radical Activist]

3. Its funny how many people are like that.

I think its pretty common in the human psyche to be pretty easily influenced. People will worry about something they saw on TV that has never happened to them before and most likely never will happen. Kind of like terrorism. 9/11 was absolutely horrible for anyone involved, but 99% of the country has never been effected by a terrorist attack outside of what they see in the news. And look at how much that has effected the nation.

[Katina]

5. weirder things could happen

I used to work in retail and I can't tell you the number of times we had to throw out new clothing because some perv got off in the dressing room and left his "stain" on the clothes. It was disgusting.

[Dave Reynolds]

7. Exes are funny, are they not?

Mine just called me at work. She was very intoxicated, and wants me to move to California so we can hang out together. She said her current husband would be okay with me crashing at their house.

Yikes.

[LostInAnomie]

8. How exactly does one sneak up on someone to blow a load?

You would think that the heavy breathing and rapid flapping would tip someone off.

[LeftyMom]

10. The Stealth Masturbator Project could be part of the Pentagon's black budget

Think of how many congressmen they could buy off with that thing, and the blackmail it'd produce. And if they invested in DC area cleaners, they could finance future projects as well.

[XemaSab]

12. I bet you never thought Matcom news would be so practical!

:rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

17. A cross country trip!!! Are you going to visit me????

Or that vegan dude? :eyes:

:bounce:

Have a great time and safe travels and you are ALWAYS welcome at chez Midlo.

[LeftyMom]

19. I'll see you at the social event of the year, of course.

I'll be the one with the cuisinart and the pleather flogger. :D

[Midlodemocrat]

21. I'm wearing a leather vest.

I hear that they are all the rage this year!!!!

Give that big ole hunk of vegan sexy a kiss from moi!!!

(says the woman old enough to be his mother, sight)

[LeftyMom]

22. For sure.

(And you're not old enough to be his mother, so stop that. )

[Midlodemocrat]

23. Thank ye kindly, missy, but you'd be wrong.

As a matter of fact, the only brown left in my hair is the two strips on either side of my eyes.

The rest is grey, dearie, very, very grey.


Oh, and my right knee creaks.

[LeftyMom]

24. Denying claims takes a lot out of you, doesn't it?

:hug:

[flvegan]

25. NOTHING iis right

in your ex's brain.

Short of his taking care of LeftyKid, that is. Seems to be a pretty decent dad, and for that he deserves a little credit.

[LeftyMom]

26. No kidding.

Well, he thinks you're a good guy. So there's no need to be kept awake at night by that worry anymore. :D

[flvegan]

27. Well, I do respect him

as I said, he seems to treat kiddo as well as he can. On a VERY limited basis, I think he's a good guy as well.

[LeftyMom]

28. Other than the support thing (which is a huge caveat) he's a pretty good Dad.

[flvegan]

30. I think that it's a very important thing

to point out that he's a good dad. Support is a big issue between you and him. To me, it's important that those two things are divided.

Money is one thing (and he's a shit because of it).

Being a dad is another.

I don't think that this is what I'm supposed to be saying.

[LeftyMom]

31. I think your job is to make noises about punching him in the neck.

But yeah, he's a good Dad to the kid, in his own way.

[flvegan]

33. My job

is punching him in the neck when it's in demand.

When he starts being a shit to you, or a "bad" dad to Little Man, then it's a heartpunch from me, to him.

Can't breathe, can't be a dick.

[LeftyMom]

35. Well, to be fair, he's not being a shit to me lately.

Probably because he knows that.

[hfojvt]

29. He shoulda been worried about

motherfu$%ing SNAKES!!

[LeftyMom]

32. But there's not a got-damn thing I can do about that.

:shrug:

[BreweryYardRat]

34. Geez, he sounds like a male version of my mom.

And I live in Tampa too. I had BETTER not be able to hear anything all the way over on the USF campus! ;) :P

[LeftyMom]

36. We'll keep it down.

:rofl:

[flvegan]

37. Oh, boy.

The Zeta dorm was my hood then. I remember the fire drills...gosh, overnight "guests" in their t-shirts and everything...