I found out what not to say to your wife when she asks,

[RB TexLa]

"Are you depressed, baby?"

And that is "Are you a fucking doctor?"

[Shakespeare]

1. Are you my ex?!!

That's the level of nastiness I used to get from him, totally unprovoked.

[RB TexLa]

3. No, I'm not.

Her statement was unprovoked, and she has no training at all in medicine or psychology.

[Fran Kubelik]

4. Right. She probably just cares about you.

On edit...if that was your response to her, perhaps you would benefit from seeing an actual doctor.

[Ptah]

9. .

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=5330132

:hi:

[Bunny]

12. GMTA!

:thumbsup:

(see post #6 below)

[Fran Kubelik]

15. Oh. Oh dear.

:rofl:

[EFerrari]

17. My ex was an Aspie and that was just normal dinnertable talk.

Oh boy.

[Ptah]

32. I will always remember the grace you are trying to explain this to some people.

:loveya:

I don't have the skills. :cry:

[EFerrari]

37. I see your user name.

lol

:loveya:

[Fran Kubelik]

38. Aw, I am sorry I laughed.

:hug:
That must have been challenging.

[EFerrari]

40. Not challenging. It was the Olympics of getting my short temper

in hand. lol

And he was worth every single second.

:)

[TOhioLiberal]

55. You read my mind...

...stop that! :P :rofl:

[kedrys]

70. Oh, *that* old fooking chestnut

Still good for hours of good-natured fun. :rofl:

[crispini]

73. OMG, Funniest. Thread. Evah!

How did I miss that? :rofl: :thumbsup:

[Bunny]

6. Well, if you'd drink with her, she might not be so intrusive.

:eyes:

[RB TexLa]

14. drink with her?

[Bunny]

19. .

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=5330132

[RB TexLa]

21. So I didn't do as ordered by that person?

what could that have to do with this?

[Bunny]

29. We are desperately in need of an emoticon that depicts something

flying right over the little smiley's head. Whooooosh!

[Xipe Totec]

31. ROFL!

don't know whether to laugh or pee my pants.

:rofl:

[Bunny]

33. Laugh! Do NOT pee your pants!

:D

[Xipe Totec]

36. Who are you, my urologist?

:rofl:

whoosh!

:rofl:

[Maine-ah]

89. ,

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[EFerrari]

35. A backstop -- so our families don't have to keep starting from square 1

Maybe?

[Shakespeare]

42. Sorry, but your response to her is completely disproportionate.

I feel sorry for your wife. I was smart enough, at last, to get the hell out.

[Blue-Jay]

2. I don't diagnose with you.

[Little Wing]

5. That's okay, I self-medicate

[Blue-Jay]

8. Who'da thunk it?

:D

[HEyHEY]

10. Wel, yeah, it's the only way

[GirlinContempt]

71. !!!!!!!!!!!!

*dies*

[ghostsofgiants]

74. Blue-Jay wins the thread.

[Sanity Claws]

7. Is she depressed?

After hearing that unprovoked nastiness, I wouldn't be surprised if she were terribly depressed.

[Susang]

30. I think I might be

Were I her.

[EFerrari]

11. Congratulations. You've just extended the life of your marriage

by at least five years.

I hope you guys are okay.

:hug:

[Zuiderelle]

13. I wonder why.

:crazy:

[EFerrari]

16. RG, are you usually very direct with people? n/t

[RB TexLa]

18. I speak directly and honestly

[Blue-Jay]

22. Translation:

"My social skills need some work."

[EFerrari]

25. Who asked for one?

:)

[Shakespeare]

41. bingo n/t

[EFerrari]

43. And this is helpful how?

[Shakespeare]

47. Then perhaps he shouldn't have started the thread.

This is a message board, so people are going to comment. He's the one who put it out there. I find his response hideously vicious and disproportianate. I've said so, and don't understand why you seem to not want anyone to say anything negative to him.

[Susang]

I think you're in the wrong thread, Shakespeare

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=6277561&mesg_id=6277561

:P

[Shakespeare]

53. !

:rofl:

[EFerrari]

49. Okay. You may be right

[PVnRT]

84. The OP frequently posts this kind of crap

Basically, he's nothing more than a troller.

[ghostsofgiants]

75. Correction:

"What the fuck is a social skill?"

[EFerrari]

24. Okay. Honesty is cool.

But if you want people to hear you, you gotta frame what you say in a way they can hear.

If you'd said to me, "Are you a fucking doctor?" I would have been hurt and I would have stopped talking or listening to you.

[petronius]

20. True. The correct response is "I'm not a fucking baby! Do I look like an infant?

Well, obviously, if I don't look like a child than I'm probably not one. Why would you call me that? It makes no goddam sense..."

[Fleshdancer]

23. does she have to be a doctor to ask you a question?

and why drop the F bomb on her for asking?

[EFerrari]

27. Because to some people's brains, that makes sense.

Hang in, Gloria. :)

[Pierre.Suave]

26. Dude, are you serious?

you said that to her?

man you missed a golden opportunity for some lovin...

If my GF asked me that, I think I would say yes, I think I need a hug and maybe some snuggling to get over it.







:evilgrin:

[EFerrari]

28. Smartypants.

:spank:

[Pierre.Suave]

34. My pants ARE smart

they know really well how to get her IN them...



:thumbsup:

[EFerrari]

44. May your pants live a hundred years.

lol

[Pierre.Suave]

54. AND

may what's in them still operate!

[EFerrari]

62. LOL

:toast:

[EFerrari]

39. What it sounds like and what it is.

(Let me try this again.)

Your wife says, "Baby, are you depressed?"

It sounds like: "You are fucking up."

It is: "I love you and that's why I'm paying attention to you."

This is a pattern. What it sounds like isn't what it is. It might be helpful to make it into two steps before you drop an f bomb on her. 1) What does it sound like to me? and 2) What is she trying to say?

Whaddya think?

[RB TexLa]

45. No it sounded like what she was asking.

I was just reminding her she is in no way qualified to ask such a question. I knew she was asking it out of concern, but there is nothing for her to do about her concern.

[EFerrari]

46. This is the thing. When people care about you, they're not thinking

about badges.

They're thinking about you.

[Name removed]

56. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Ptah]

57. Think before you condemn

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspie



<snip>
Social differences

Although there is no single feature that all people with AS share,
difficulties with social behavior are nearly universal and are one of
the most important defining criteria. People with AS lack the natural
ability to see the subtexts of social interaction, and may lack the
ability to communicate their own emotional state, resulting in well-meaning
remarks that may offend, or finding it hard to know what is "acceptable".
The unwritten rules of social behavior that mystify so many with AS have
been termed the "hidden curriculum".<19> People with AS must learn these
social skills intellectually through seemingly contrived, dry, math-like logic
rather than intuitively through normal emotional interaction.<20>

[EFerrari]

59. Not to mention, when did jumping down someone's throat

ever change their mind?

Another day in the forest of Arden. lol

[RB TexLa]

60. None of that applies

[Ptah]

61. my mistake.

Sorry.

[EFerrari]

63. You've been getting a lot of feedback on this thread.

You may want to rethink that.

I hope you guys are okay, RG. I always appreciate your posts.

[RB TexLa]

76. Thanks. I'm fine

[Kutjara]

58. You have to have qualifications to ask if someone is depressed?

I guess you wouldn't want anyone to call 911 if you smashed your car into a wall either, because they obviously aren't qualified to know if you're injured.

Remember guys, you can only ask questions about topics in which you yourself have a PhD.

[REP]

77. He's Addressed That, Too

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=364&topic_id=529387

[Kutjara]

79. Thanks for the link.

That certainly answers my question.

[uppityperson]

78. Why wasn't she qualified? problem is YOU weren't qualified, if you want to get real

She was asking what YOU thought. Of course she was qualified to ask what you thought. Anyone can ask questions. Was she qualified to treat you if you have a health/mental health condition? No. But to ask what you thought, how you felt? Of course she was qualified.

You don't have to be a doctor to ask someone how they feel.

[greatauntoftriplets]

48. Are you posting from the doghouse???

n/t

[BreweryYardRat]

50. You're an idiot.

And I thought I had poor social skills...

Unless you were being sarcastic.

Seriously, go see a shrink. I'm growing out of acting like a jackass, you can too.

Irony works better than flaying commentary.

[Kutjara]

51. Smoooooooth!

You silver-tongued charmer you.

[Kajsa]

52. ROFL !

:rofl:

Thanks, Kutjara!

:hi:

[Book Lover]

64. What did she say to that? (nm)

[RB TexLa]

66. threw her starbucks at me and got on her plane

[Book Lover]

67. Well, I understand her reaction, I have to admit

May I ask: was it a surprise to you?

[RB TexLa]

69. I'm sure she was upset that she wasted starbucks

suprised me that she would do that

[GirlinContempt]

72. Is this for reals?

[fudge stripe cookays]

81. Good for her. n/t

[Nicole]

65. How rude!

She doesn't have to be a doctor to ask the question.

If she was trying to prescribe medication or treatment for depression, then yeah she needs to be a doctor.

I hope you apologized for being so rude to her.

[Danger Mouse]

68. Wow.

Heh, when I was going through a period of severe depression, I was often hostile to my girlfriend at the time, who I loved very much.
Well, she eventually got sick of it and dumped me.

Your response was pretty harsh, and totally uncalled for. Keep it up, and you might not be married much longer.

[MonkeyFunk]

80. What an awful thing to say

to someone expressing loving concern!

wow.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

82. You're the jackass who did the "I don't drink with you" debacle?

Geesum, that explains everying.

Either you have the world's worst case of AS, or you're living on the numb side of reality.

[NC_Nurse]

86. That's exactly what I thought.

One of the pervasive developmental disorders or just an incredibly defensive person with no social skills.

And no, I'm not a doctor. ..but I did stay in a Holiday Inn express! :D

[RB TexLa]

87. no, I just don't drink everytime a white woman orders me to drink

[Zuiderelle]

88. LMAO!

:rofl:

Something about that sentence just fucking kills me.

[PVnRT]

83. Clearly, more evidence of racism from the Big Ten commissioner

n/t

[ScreamingMeemie]

85. I hope someday your wife finds someone who appreciates

her and returns the love she was willing to give you. You do need a doctor. I'm not a doctor but I'll tell you that time and again.

[eyepaddle]

90. I'll say what every woman here is thinking

You're MARRIED!?!?!?!?

You don't work offshore by any chance do you? That kind of grace and class is right at home out there--you might like being surrounded like minded fellows.

[buddhamama]

91. Locking...

Flamebait.

Sincerely,
buddhamama-DU Mod