I just hung up on a telemarketing fundie evangelist! Ask me anything!

[Midlodemocrat]

:eyes:

Some of you may know that my husband had a quadruple bypass almost a year ago. Since then, he's been born again. And, interestingly, become even MORE liberal. I think there was a chasm in his heart, (figuratively, not literally, that was taken care of by the great cardiac surgeon, Dr. Hahn) and this filled it. He has a group of guys he meets with and they talk spiritually as well as personally about the travails in their lives. I'm okay with it, because he's not a homophobic fundie asshole.

I digress.

I answered the phone and it was this fundie chick from a catalog I recall seeing from the Gospels that he bought to listen to as he drove around. She wants him (us) to contribute to a monthly program to essentially convert those poor heathens in Iran, Somalia, etc. to Christianity before it is too late. :eyes: again.

So, I politely try to explain that I am a cradle Catholic and that he is the only one who listens to this guy and that I basically think the guy is completely full of shit, but I DO manage to say it much nicer than that.

I explain that he had surgery, blah, blah, blah, (because every.single.born.again. I know has had a crisis of some sort in their lives to bring them to that point) and she starts blathering about Jesus and the blood on the cross, etc., etc.

So at this point, I interrupt her and tell her that in NO WAY will do this kind of proselytizing. Along the same lines as what she is doing to me about being born again.

I then start quoting Leviticus to her. I start with the crap. The don't sleep with your wife when she has her period crap. and the homosexual crap. and then I go in for the kill.

I start essentially yelling at her that this RW fundamentalist bullshit that has been fed to the American People has cost BILLIONS of dollars and hundreds of thousands of innocent lives and that if she is going to quote scripture to ME, she better be prepared NOT to eat bacon and NOT to watch football because the pig is 'unclean'.

I say to this ignorant little twit that the moran in the WH has corrupted the Jesus I worship. The Jesus of Peace and Acceptance and Caring for the less fortunate.

She interrupts me. (!) (Let's just say that wasn't too smart) and says she is not going to 'talk politics'.

I yelled that "People dying in the name of the Lord that you freaks worship isn't politics and you need to get the RW monkey off your back before you go any further because everything you have said here tonight is crap. I am A LOT older than you, sweetie, and I've forgotten more than you know about the teachings of Jesus. Do the corporal works of mercy ring a friggin' bell? I'm sure they don't. It's more important to you idiots to quote scripture to someone who isn't Christian than it is to actually do the works of Christ".

And. I hung up.

So, DO NOT EVER quote scripture to me. I was raised by the most Christ-like person on the planet and I KNOW for a damned FACT what is the correct thing to do.

Okay. :rant: over.

[peacebird]

1. A beautiful, righteous rant indeed! Love the biblical quotations! Perfection!

:toast:

[immoderate]

2. Uhm. Judge not lest ye be judged and turn the other cheek....

:hide:

--IMM

[MissMarple]

3. Good for you! Good vent. We need more of exactly that.

:applause:

Also, the "corporal acts of mercy", is that Catholic speak. I have very Catholic wing nut brothers in law, former seminary students, would they understand that?

[Midlodemocrat]

6. They sure would.

[MissMarple]

7. Thanks! I checked them out on wikipedia.

I'm guessing a good Catholic doesn't get to pick and choose exactly who the beneficiaries of these acts should be. The acts should pretty much be universally applied?

I'm a happy lady. :)

[Midlodemocrat]

8. That's the thing.

My mom, God rest her soul, was an unbelievably devout woman. She was a daily communicant and she adored her Church.

And, she was despondent about what befell her Church before she passed.

But, she also, in her 70's, routinely got out of bed and put on her clothes because some unwed mother called her at 3AM because she was out of diapers and formula.

I can't tell you how many times she did that. It scared the bejesus out of me because I lived 450 miles away.

It got to the point where I called the local grocery store where the church had 'an account' so to speak and told them to charge the stuff to my CC, so my mom wouldn't have to do it. She NEVER turned anyone down. Even people she had been told were 'double dipping', you know, going from church to church.

Just how desperate must one be to go to the church for help? I'm thinking pretty desperate. If they double dipped, good on them.

She was a passionate liberal. She kept reminding all of us that Jesus was a liberal. She was 100% for gay rights, equal rights for all, NO WAR in Iraq, she supported the environment, she was the real deal.

She was even 'pro-choice'. An incredibly devout Catholic. She always said that that kind of choice was between the chooser and God and God wouldn't hold it against them when they were in such difficult straits.

Isn't that amazing? She was AMAZING.

We used to joke that she was next in line for the Pope Hood, except she was too liberal.

Anyway. enough. Thanks.

[MissMarple]

12. Thanks for telling us about how amazing your mother was. The Church still has members like her.

Their voices have been sadly muted.

[CrazyOrangeCat]

4. you rock!

that poor dumb bunny wouldn't know the Sermon on the Mount if it appeared on a tortilla . . . .

[in_cog_ni_to]

5. I have the BIGGEST smile on my face right now.

That was awesome!:rofl:

[Cerridwen]

9. Brava!!! Yay!!! Well said!!! I'm running out of cheers!!!

:rofl:

Your post, the way you presented it - starting softfly then winding up and going for the crescendo!

Brilliant!

Thank you!


:yourock:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

10. Self delete

DUMB thing to ask ... my bad.

[EstimatedProphet]

11. Don't try to remove the mote in my eye and ignore the beam in yours

KIDDING!

That was a good rant!

[Critters2]

13. Well done, Midlo.

I'm always amazed that these people assume we're on the same page because we call ourselves Christian. What they call Christian and what I (and you) call Christian are lightyears apart. Caring for widows, orphans, the poor? They missed that part. Which is amazing to me, because it is a HUGE part of BOTH testaments.

And then add that they're TELEMARKETERS!!! And it just becomes too much.

Rant on!

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

14. If they call again,

and you don't want to raise your blood pressure, start chanting one of these:

Om mani padme hung

Sri Ram jai Ram jai jai Ram

Hu mahta Hu kahta Hu varstah (Zoroastrian-Good thoughts, good words, good deeds)

Shema Israel Adnoai Elohenu Adnoai a Hud

La illaha il Allah

or this one:
Abwomm d'bwashmaya (The first line of the Lord's prayer in Aramaic-for some reason this scares fundies I've known silly)

(apologies for misspellings-I can say the phrases better than I can write 'em!)

[JerseygirlCT]

15. Teehee. That must have been fun. C'mon, just a little bit?

What ignorance there is! But it's the allure of easy answers.

Glad you forced her to think about the less easy ones!