Holey Smokes! The "Average" Cost of a Wedding is Now $28,000?

[The Cleaner]

I heard this on the news this morning...can it be real? I mean sure I wish my wife and I had a ritzier wedding, with a fine midday dinner at a fancy hotel at a luxury Caribbean resort for 150+ people, but come on...a modest wedding can be had for FAR less than that.

The absolute worst thing a couple can do is enter into a marriage with so much debt. And then on top of it, purchasing their first home, maybe having kids...all the meanwhile most likely having significant personal credit card/car payment debt before the marriage even starts!

How they do it these days I have no idea. What gives?
:shrug:

[babylonsister]

1. Ladders are relatively cheap.

:D

[petronius]

Most people just leave ladders outside the garage or in the yard

where they can be 'borrowed' - it's totally unnecessary to buy one. Geez, what kind of extravagant, over-the-top wedding did you have, with store-bought ladders and everything? :eyes:

;)

[Lisa]

140. yeah -- that's what my dad did, every time my boyfriend came by!

Guess he must have been looking at the same info as you!

[sarcasmo]

2. Much less in Vegas.

[derby378]

15. Vegas, baby!

We had a nice little wedding in Vegas back in 2000. The license and ceremony themselves didn't cost more than $300, but there were a few extra costs - transportation and lodging, bridal dress, professional photographer, etc.

[Qanisqineq]

143. That's where I got married

Cost me $3000 with plane tickets, hotel (Mandalay Bay), bouquet, dress, shoes, tux, and wedding at the Mandalay Bay. My parents and sisters showed up and his parents showed up. It was done in less than 15 minutes. Cheap and lots of fun.

[Botany]

3. Consultants and Planners add tons to the cost

Also the media and advertising have "sold America" a bill of goods.

[HereSince1628]

18. If I was one of those planner/consultants I'd be saying MORE MORE!!!!

A couple spends on a wedding what they choose to spend.

Among my siblings weddings ranged from the cost of 15 minutes with a judge to $30k affairs. I can say that for this small sample there was no correlation in the durability of the marriage and cost of the wedding.

I did however encourage my son to do a real honeymoon (and I actually gave them the money to cover it, cuz they flat didn't have it because I believe that it's a good idea to store up happy memories for the times when things aren't so happy...other folks may feel money spent on a wedding has similar value to the way I felt about my son's honeymoon.

[Blue Belle]

4. Not to mention the debt the couple has already accrued individually...

when you consider the cost of education. Most college graduates leave school with the average of $19,000 of school loan debt. And yes, I know the right wing talking point of "Well, that's just the average cost of a new car" - it still doesn't mean it's right.

[RB TexLa]

5. Sounds about right.

[no_hypocrisy]

6. It's the extras that do it.

First the guest list seems to expand as families remember relations who will be "hurt" if they aren't invited or who might make a generous wedding gift/donation.

Next, wedding planners are like funeral directors. They start upgrading the choice of meal, the cake, the flower arrangements, etc.

Next, the wedding mobile. No one drives to and from their wedding like you don't drive to the prom. You get a big, impressive limo or car. With the motor and meter running throughout the day.

Next, open bar. Nuff said.

So when you start adding it up, it's like an extra semester of college to buy a wedding.

I'm sure the parents of the bride want to cry more than their daughter when the marriage turns into a divorce.

[KittyWampus]

20. You forgot to mention the band. :-) The only 2 expenses worth it are a great band

amd great food. In my opinion.

[no_hypocrisy]

32. Agreed a thousand times.

If you don't have a good band and good food, you'd BETTER have an open bar . . .

[Touchdown]

64. The photographer should be #1

The food is forgotten, and the band a distant memory, but the album lasts a lifetime...unless the marriage goes to the dogs in a year or two.

[wicket]

69. Agreed

And videography is a huge waste of money (and I say this as a videographer).

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. No, that's the average cost of a wedding RECEPTION

I wish the media and others would fucking stop the nonsense that a wedding costs that much, and that the wedding and the party are the same fucking thing. Weddings are cheap. RECEPTIONS can be expensive.

[pnwmom]

65. Weddings can be cheap, but

the cost of a gown, flowers, the church or other facility, and the celebrant, etc., can add up.

[Betty]

8. I'm a musician who plays at these types of weddings

and I can tell you that a lot of the ones I see are easily six figure affairs. I think they way they do it is to have really rich parents who want to show off for all their friends. I also played at a bat mitzvah once that rivaled any wedding I have ever done. They rented an entire floor of one of the fanciest hotels in Boston and had maybe 250-300 guests.. ice sculptures, open bars, really fancy food to feed a thousand at least, and that was before the sit down dinner. All this for a 13 year old.

[mikeytherat]

91. My band is also on the "high-end" wedding circuit.

Of the 50 or so gigs we do each year, about 30-40 are for six-figure wedding receptions.

mikey_the_rat

[Bake]

109. As a fellow musician, I hope you're getting YOUR share of that pie!!

My band had a wedding booked recently, but the bride cancelled on us because she found somebody cheaper (probably a damn DJ!!). On the other hand, I have to wonder about anybody who books us for a wedding, since we're sort of a bluegrass band ...

Bake

[mike_c]

9. it'll only get worse if gays are allowed to marry....

:spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

I'm here all week, folks! Try the veal!

[PurpleChez]

24. But it'll be more fabulous!

[Le Taz Hot]

38. LOL!

Btw, love your sig line.

[PurpleChez]

113. Thanks!

So far as I know I'm a straight male, but I enjoy, sometimes envy, the flamboyance of gay culture. Yes, I know that this is a stereotype. I have had dear friends who were non-fabulous gay men. But I really admire the way that they have been able to celebrate themselves in the face of such ongoing poor treatment and downright persecution.

BTW, I love your screen name. One of our fave movies at home is Victor/Victoria.

[Renew Deal]

10. I'm getting married soon and that number sounds correct.

It might be a starting point.

[pnwmom]

89. A lot of the posters here are talking about

the cost of their own weddings, years ago.

And costs also vary wildly depending on where you live -- in an expensive urban area, or in a small town, etc.

[Left Is Write]

116. My wedding 9.5 years ago would be just as inexpensive today.

We used the chapel at my church and the reception was at my parents' house. It was a VERY small wedding (18 people total, including my husband and me).

I don't begrudge anyone an expensive wedding if that's what they want. But my wedding wasn't inexpensive in comparison simply because it was held years ago; it was inexpensive, period, because we skipped a lot of the trappings other people might consider essential.

[Renew Deal]

130. I'm on Long Island

Which is pretty much the worst place possible.

[KittyWampus]

92. do you have your dress yet? Is there a pix of it online we could see?

[Renew Deal]

129. I'm not wearing a dress

Because I'm a guy. I know my girlfriend got one, but I haven't seen it.

[TayTay]

11. Wow! I had mine in a local hall

Hired my brother to cater it, borrowed a wedding dress and had a buffet. Married 23 1/2 years. If I had it to do all over again, I would have eloped. (Even this was just a bit much, I look back and think.)

[TheLeftyMom]

19. I agree

We spent about $7K on ours 10 years ago and if I had to do it again, I'd take $5K and elope on a beach somewhere with just HIM.

[PurpleChez]

115. Hey! My brother catered mine, too! Well...sort of....

The restaurant where he was a chef did the catering. But he was part of the wedding party, so he wasn't serving or anything. But I did the invitations on the computer at home, we made the decorations, made some mix tapes in place of a band, etc. Sometimes I look back and feel sort of awkward for NOT sending out engraved invitations with gold liners in the envelopes and all that, but then I think "screw it." As it is, we went far beyond our original hippie dippy wedding plans (hemp dress, outdoor picnic reception). I'm glad that we didn't spend any more than we did. We ended up with a beautiful setting, the college chapel where I did my undergraduate. Fantastic organ. (That's what SHE said.) We didn't have to prove anything to anybody. Sorry to ramble. It's getting late.

[enki23]

12. you can rest assured that distribution is skewed severely

and closely follows the wealth distribution in our imes.

the median is going to be considerably lower.

[quiet.american]

13. So many bride-to-be's act like they've won the lottery after being proposed to.

It doesn't have to cost nearly that much, but I've seen so many under-30 brides who interpret their engagement ring as a blank check and proceed to plan their wedding as though they're on some kind of shopping spree game show.

[susanna]

119. Well, I see something in your post I agree with...

I was a post-30 bride. I paid for my own wedding.

It is absolutely amazing what happens when it's YOUR money. My family, bless them, wanted to contribute, but I told them no. This is MY day, and I will make it my own.

That said, I brought in a very, very, very nice wedding for - all told - 12K and that includes photo orders and videography (contrary to an earlier poster, we love our video - it's one of the best journals of the day).

I explained to all the people trying to sell me crap that I was going for simple. In the end, I ordered several things online (including a designer dress) that brought my total WAY down, but still worked fabulously.

Personally, I agree with an earlier poster. I wish we had eloped and I had my 12K back. But then I remember the joy on the faces of my family and friends and remember why I did what I did.

Funny enough, my parents, at the end of the reception, pulled me aside. I was like, "what did I do now?" My Dad asked me if he could pay the (open) bar tab. I said, "Dad, we've budgeted for that. You don't have to." He said, "you know, you created a very beautiful wedding and I want to." I was touched. We kinda bonded at that moment. :-)

on edit: spelling

[Divernan]

14. And how much more for the traditional diamond engagement ring?

All that money would go a long way to purchasing a home, or paying off the college loans. On the other hand, the guests are expected to come up with major wedding gifts. If you look at the gift registries for engaged couples, you'll find complete households full of fine linens, bone china, sterling silver, crystal stemware, PLUS the everyday fine quality stainless flatware, dishes and every kitchen appliance known to man. I think the anticipated gift haul goes a long way to offset the costs.

[Siyahamba]

16. I'd still like to be able to have one

[trackfan]

17. Mine cost about $75 n/t

[Democrat 4 Ever]

30. My youngest daughter's wedding was under $2,000. And we had

a really nice affair. Beautiful ceremony, lots of flowers, photographer, plenty of food at the reception, open bar and 75 of our closest family and friends. We did all the work, bartered some services (photographer in exchange for me designing a new logo and brokering their printing).

My daughter bought her wedding dress on Ebay for $100.00. We looked and saved money everywhere.

My son-in-law just wanted to go off to Vegas and have a quickly ceremony. My daughter wanted something a little more traditional. They compromised. He said that if we could have an event for approximately the same amount as what they would spend on flying, hotel and a ceremony in Vegas he would get on board. They set a $2,000 budget and we religiously refused to go over that amount. Neither one of them could justify spending huge amounts of money on a ceremony when they could pay off student loans, bought their first house.

We had a grand time. People came early, stayed late and partied hearty. A damn fine time had by all.

[wicket]

71. My mom bartered for all of the bridesmaid dresses for my sister's wedding

In exchange for making the dresses, my mom reupholstered some furniture for the seamstress. Good deal! :)

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

21. My wife and I got married for about $75 - including the rings.

In front of a preacher at the hospital she worked in at the time with a co-worker of hers as a witness.

Of course, we've only been married 27 years (on June 1) so maybe it's not going to last.

[lumberjack_jeff]

54. Wedding cake: $45...

Dress: $75
Rings: $150
License: $20
Hall and church rental (at my Brother-in-law's house): $0
Tip for the preacher (family friend) $50
Honeymoon at Paradise inn at Mount Rainier: $150
total: less than $400

Not having to listen for the next 25 years to anyone bitch and snivel about how much our wedding cost them: priceless.

Granted, these are 1983 dollars. With compound interest, the money we saved is worth like $50k.

The wedding industry pisses me off like few other things.

[Monkeyman]

22. No No No Not Me no more

[nancyr]

26. That's obscene

Considering the majority of them end up divorced...what's the point?

[Xenotime]

87. exactly

[Turbineguy]

23. Strange, we were just discussing this last night.

My Wife and I had a hastily organized wedding and spent about 500 bucks (Church wedding, White wedding dress, 28 years ago, no shotgun painted white though).

My daughter's friend is getting married tomorrow and spending $3500 on flowers alone. No, she's not a movie star.

[Darkseid69]

25. Vegas Baby..

Little White Chapel. Was open at 2am in the morning too.

[Donnachaidh]

33. Me Too!

I felt bad for the couple ahead of us on line for their license. Both dressed in FULL wedding regalia, OUTSIDE on line, in 104 degree heat. They survived, but the best man fainted from the heat.

And our preacher at LWC married us during a major asthma attack.

[MsKandice01]

27. We got married on the beach in Jamaica for $2500

And that included airfare and a stay at an all-inclusive resort for a week. No one else came, it was just us, and it was lovely.

[Donnachaidh]

28. that's just DUMB.

Put the money into an ACCOUNT for the kids.

Send the kids (and yourself if you HAVE to be there) to Vegas. LOTS cheaper.

And the kids can use the money to buy new furniture, or just have an emergency nest egg.

[DemoTex]

29. Three big-ticket rip-offs: Weddings, divorces, and funerals.

Know what I mean, Vern?

[Blue_Tires]

58. truth!

[seabeyond]

31. mine cost $100, some shrimp and glass of bubbly. oh and two seashell

rings. $6 each. didnt even hit $200. i dont spend $100 on kids tennis shoes either.

[lakeguy]

34. averages are misleading

if 10 couples spend 280,000 on their weddings that is an average of 28k. couple 1 spends 272,000 and the other 4 spend 2k each, thats a 28k average. it's the same game bushco plays with their tax cut talk.

find the median...that's the real middle.

[TechBear_Seattle]

39. Good point

Without at least a standard deviation, averages are meaningless.

I would be interested in seeing the mean cost (the point at which half of all weddings are more expensive and half are less expensive.) That would carry a lot more information.

[NewJeffCT]

104. Agreed - an even more extreme example

Say, Paris Hilton gets married at a wedding that costs $1 million.

It would take 42 or 43 weddings at $5,000 each to make the average either just above or just below $28,000. And, $5,000 is a pretty good wedding as it is.

[TechBear_Seattle]

35. My brother's wedding cost about $300

Most of that was the cost of hiring a minister.

They had their wedding and reception at a ramada in Balboa Park in San Diego. The ceremony was on a hill with the Pacific Ocean in the background. The bride wore a white sun dress, a sun hat and white sandals; the groom wore white bermuda shorts, a white Mexican wedding shirt and sandals. The couple bought a nicely decorated sheet cake, the parents paid for soft drinks and hamburger supplies. In lieu of gifts, guests were asked to bring a potluck dish to share.

Without a doubt, the best wedding I've ever been to.

[Beausoir]

36. That's not including the rings.

I've never undrestood why people feel the need to invite 400 of their "closest" friends to a wedding.

I view it as pure greed.

[NorthernSpy]

37. can't you just file a marriage license application for like, twenty bucks?

What's the point of all that other stuff, anyway? A big, ostentatious wedding doesn't make you any more married than just filling out the paperwork would. In fact, since money woes are a big factor in pushing couples toward divorce, that $28,000 debt hangover from that all-important "perfect wedding" might arguably make you less married in the long run.


Speaking of which: how costly is divorce?


Wouldn't it be wiser to get married simply, and save the costly indulgences for later years, after your work has paid off and you are more prosperous?

[JoDog]

48. absolutely

I've performed 3 weddings for friends, and the truth is, the wedding industry has become very, very rich off of convincing people that they "need" ice sculptures, centerpieces, a small army of groomsmen and bridesmaids, etc.

Heck, in many states, the wedding at the end of the movie "Spaceballs" would be almost be a legal ceremony ("Do you?" "Yes." "Do you?" "Yes." "Fine, you're married. Kiss her.") All that's missing is to have the bride and groom confirm their identities. The basic wedding ceremony takes maybe 10-15 min. tops.

The first wedding I performed was had for about 600 bucks, not counting the rings. The bride bought a vintage dress for $100. I was paid in booze. The most expensive wedding I performed was about $4,000. All three ceremonies were highly personal tributes to the unique relationships of the people in them.

A wedding, much like a marriage, is what you make of it. Friends and fun are never expensive.

[Left Is Write]

117. I think our marriage license was $70.

Some people spend a lot on a wedding because they want a big to-do. It's not what Mr. LIW and I did, and a big, lavish affair wasn't what we wanted. If it's what others want, I've got no problem with it.

[porphyrian]

40. Marriage is an over-rated scam.

If two people are in love and committed to each other, no ceremony is necessary to prove it. Weddings and funerals are not for the people actually involved - they are for perpetuating religious memes, helping others to live vicariously through your experience and, primarily, to give enormously bloated industries to capitalize on your happiness and/or grief. This is not to say that couples shouldn't be treated equally by the government regardless of whether religions or the industries approve - they should. I'm simply saying that 90% of what is involved in marriage and 100% of the cost are completely unnecessary and only allow predators to take advantage of people.

[BayCityProgressive]

42. Yes the big corporations are ruining this country

but idiot Americans are also burrying themselves. Our country is now a "it's all about me" people. Everyone in the US wants to pretend they are rich even if they aren't. In recent polling 60% of Americans believe they are in the upper crust of society LOL. Americans have tens of thousands in credit card debt, huge expenses like these weddings, new cars, homes that they take interest only loans on ect ect...at some point you have to place some blame on the idiot sheeple themselves. This is why conservatives win elections..people think they are rich or can get rich even if they have to go into massive debt to make it appear that way. I really don't know where people's heads are at.

[porphyrian]

43. It's a self-perpetuating cycle, but the behavior you mention is more akin to mental illness...

...those who prey on them and their illness are intentionally despicable. If you are having an event catered and you say the word "wedding," the cost will be triple what it would be otherwise. The same is true of almost everything that's paid for. That's gouging.

[NorthernSpy]

55. people are terrified of getting pegged as "losers"...

Poverty is severely stigmatized in our society. So a lot of opportunities to save money are rejected out of hand, because of the stigma attached to wearing mended or unfashionable clothes, or having a cheap, do-it-yourself wedding, or sharing a house with aging parents -- even if such an arrangement helps all involved (you know, the old "loser living in Mom's basement" stereotype).

So instead, folks dive right into a mountain of debt for a lifestyle they can't really afford. In trying to avoid seeming poor, they make themselves even poorer in the long run.

[NorthernSpy]

44. let's not confuse weddings with marriages...

If two people are in love and committed to each other, no ceremony is necessary to prove it.

Yes, and that commitment IS the marriage. Without it, there is no marriage -- even if there was a wedding and a honeymoon and diamond rings and whatnot.

I do get what you're saying, tho.

[porphyrian]

46. Right, my bad. I'm conditioned to confuse the two, but I get it. - n/t

[Clark2008]

68. Technically, you're correct.

However, a marriage ceremony - even a $50 JOP job - is required to participate in certain aspects of our legal system. For example, family health care through your company, tax deductions and ownership of joint property (especially the rights to it after one partner dies) are all subjected to that one little piece of paper.

[porphyrian]

77. True, but I don't agree with it.

Married couple are no better citizens than unmarried couples, and it's discrimination for the law to treat them as such. I have far more respect for a single mother, say, and her loving and supportive girlfriend than a married couple who goes through the motions simply because they are supposed to and claim they belong to a religion. Tradition for tradition's sake should not penalize those who choose to challenge those traditions (which is far more American than accepting them), and it certainly shouldn't penalize those it excludes due to arbitrary rules about who can and cannot get married.

[Book Lover]

80. You are right, but one part that you are missing is the legal rights conferred

My best friend wed her spouse because he was concerned some overzealous judge/doctor/cop would consider his spouse's blood relatives wishes over his; without marriage he is a legal stranger to her (which is why recognizing marital rights for all couples is so important!!!!!)

And for the record, they spent less than $200 for their wedding day, including dinner for the officiant and witness.

[porphyrian]

81. Right, I disagree with those legal rights.

It is discrimination for the government to confer legal rights on an arbitrarily-defined group of citizens over other citizens. The government has no place telling us who can or cannot be considered a married couple.

[mondo joe]

86. The gov't doesn't confer the rights - the people do, to each other.

Government simply recognizes the contract.

[porphyrian]

Yes, but only to an arbitrarily-defined subset of those people.

Fucking lawyers.

[mondo joe]

100. Is your issue that marriage excludes some - gays for example - on a

purely arbitrary basis?

Or that it excludes people who don't wish to marry?

[porphyrian]

102. Yes.

I don't feel that any citizens should receive preferential treatment by the government based solely on an arbitrarily-defined exclusive status without justification. I feel that marriage in no way makes a group of citizens justifiably better or more deserving of special treatment by law than non-married citizens, especially since what constitutes a marriage excludes so many for no justifiable reason. If the government is going to give benefits to any married couple, than any citizens who claim to be married should be afforded those benefits, not just the ones who fit some arbitrary definition of marriage.

[mondo joe]

103. I guess I'm not clear on what preferential treatment they receive from

the government.

The preferential treatment I'm aware of is between the married parties - they give each other rights of inheritance, authority to acton each other's behalf in certain situations, and of course there are commensurate responsibilities as well.

I don't see how the government confers any rights - the parties confer them to each other. Government simply recognizes them.

[porphyrian]

105. Aren't those enough? However, I believe there are also differences in taxation...

...and admissibility in certain programs (or differences in treatment within those programs) based solely on marriage status. Am I wrong about that? I understand the need for a legal definition of hierarchy of inheritance status in the absence of a will, or the ability to decide whether life support should continue or be discontinued in the absence of a will, but I feel this would be more fairly solved by requiring all adult citizens to maintain a will rather than the arbitrary status of "married."

And, you are making my point. The government simply recognizes only certain definitions of marriage, which are arbitrary and exclusive. I don't see how you still don't understand what I'm saying.

[Zuiderelle]

134. You're kidding right? Pension benefits, social security benefits, inheritance taxation

And the list goes on for another thousand things that the government gives to married couples. Things that people who cannot marry cannot give eachother.

[Book Lover]

96. I replied before reading your further posts

I agree with you, even though I am also married (for similar reasons to my friend's).

[porphyrian]

97. I've been married and divorced now, myself. - n/t

[Lasher]

41. We have always had other priorities

To me a $28K wedding would be quite an extravagance, but if others want to spend that much and more I don't see anything wrong with it. If a couple is going into a lot of debt for such a bash I don't think that's a good way to start out. And an opulent lifestyle for a week or two followed by years of scrimping might be a difficult adjustment for some. But if I had plenty of money and nothing else more important to do with it before I die I might consider funding a celebration like that for a daughter who had gotten a good education and then married someone else who had also gotten a good education. And the groom couldn't have tattoos all over his body or a bone in his nose. Or orange hair.

Mrs. Lasher and I started out in 1969 with literally nothing. We got married in a simple ceremony and went to her parents' house for cake. A friend of my father had a cabin he let us stay in for a week. If we had that to do over again we wouldn't trade the experience for a cruise or anything else.

[newportdadde]

45. 8 years ago ours cost just under 2k.

Just immediate family, my father-in-law did the photographs. Cake and punch reception in the adjoining area in the church.

No honeymoon as I had to get back to work on Monday, wedding gifts from our parents where washer and dryer - my parents, bed frame and mattress(her parents).

And like others mentioned above spending money on it really is a waste of cash for a day that is so hectic most bride and grooms don't really get to enjoy.

[gravity]

47. The median cost should be much lower

A few expensive and extravagant weddings could skew all the statistics.

[TahitiNut]

75. BINGO! All these replies and only yours notes the 'myth of the average' hype.

With the enormous 'surge' in wealth for the wealthy, a few million-dollar weddings will more than overcompensate for the budget weddings of the 'lower 90%.'

[kestrel91316]

49. Conspicuous consumption reigns once again..............just like in the

Gilded Age and the Roaring Twenties, and prior to the French Revolution.

It can end well, or it can end badly. But it WILL end.

[HockeyMom]

50. $2,500 Total in 1974 in New York City

This included renting a catering hall, flowers, a band, food (cocktail hour and sit down) and liquor for 125 people, 2 limos, and my gown and headpiece. To put this in perspective, for women, the latter cost me $250 and was custom made. I also went to Vidal Sassoon Salon to get my hair done (Perm) and that was $50.

My husband and I paid for all of this. No, it did not put us in debt.

See what inflation has done?

[gatorboy]

51. For who the Bush dynasty?

Dumbest thing I've ever heard. My wife performs marriages and hasn't even heard of anyone in quite awhile paying that much.

[Bucky]

52. And since women earn less money than men... only a couple with two guys can afford this!

Okay, that doesn't quite work. But I'm convinced there's an ironic point to be found in there. Somewhere

[AngryAmish]

53. I just got married last Saturday

We did not spend that much and I would be hard pressed to find ways to spend more money. I guess a band instead of DJ and could spend more on drinks. We had the reception at a rented park district conservatory but it is the most beautiful place in all of Chicagoland.


I think the 28k figure is high.

[babylonsister]

61. Beaucoup congratulations to you and yours! nt

[AngryAmish]

94. thanx

[wicket]

74. Congratulations!!!!

:hug:

[AngryAmish]

95. thanx

[Atman]

56. "Holey" smokes?

.

[BluePatriot]

57. *ack*

I think we managed maybe 4 k for mine last year, all easily paid off by now. The stupidest thing was the stunned reactions and pressure to do more-more-more from women my age who could not understand the benefits of a simple, small ceremony. I got plenty of support from all the older women I met. It's not about marriage to some people, it's about "OMG flaunting your STATUS" *gag*

[cgrindley]

59. My two weddings

First marriage 180 bucks for 10 years.

Second marriage 10k going on 4 years. To get the same value for money, I'll have to be married for 550 years. I just don't see it happening.

Big marriages are an in your face insult to everyone on earth who doesn't have enough to make ends meet. Wasteful and stupid.

[pnwmom]

72. Does that go for $28,000 cars as well? And annual vacations to Hawaii

or Bermuda?

We had about 120 guests at our daughter's wedding, and it was the best party we've ever had. There were four living grandparents there, and all the relatives in one place. Do you think family reunions are an insult, too, or just large wedding receptions?

[cgrindley]

79. Family reunions

are tacky and embarrassing. I wouldn't go to one even if I had a family worth seeing.

[pnwmom]

85. Maybe if you had a family you felt was worth seeing you'd think differently.

How would you know?

And there's nothing about getting family together that by its nature is tacky and embarrassing. It's all how you do it.

[Left Is Write]

122. Why are family reunions tacky?

[Left Is Write]

123. Okay, well, then isn't eating dinner in a nice restaurant an insult to everyone

who doesn't have enough food?

Is having more than one outfit and insult to those who don't have clothes?

What about housing? Is it an insult to the homeless if you live in a house?

[Maine-ah]

60. in 2001

we spent about 4k. Booze, food, flowers, hall & all. My dress was 2nd hand, paid less than 100 bucks for it.


28k? Hell, I'd use that for maybe a house, seems better spent than for a wedding. Especially with the divorce rate in this country:shrug:

[Clark2008]

62. Isn't the point of the wedding to get OUT of the dress?

:evilgrin:

I'm sorry - I paid about $15 for mine on ebay. LOL.

[pnwmom]

63. Lots of parents are still paying for weddings. And it's often both

sets of parents, and the couple, chipping in together.

We paid for our daughter's wedding. After all the funerals we've had in the last 10 years, this was the best family reunion/party we've ever had. Four of the grandparents were still alive to attend, and relatives we hadn't seen in 25 years. I'm so glad we did it.

The wedding ceremony belongs to the couple. But the reception is a party -- for everyone.

[Ilsa]

66. The wedding business is a scam, IMO. Try watching an

episode of Bridezillas on WE TV and you'll see what I mean. People are usually all worked up and spending way too much money -- much more then they can afford.

The flip side is the super-extravant weddings called "Platinum weddings", but the people are already so wealthy that it doesn't matter if they spend $1 million on a one day event.

[LiberalEsto]

67. Mine cost about $500

Of course this was back in 1982, but I just didn't want, and couldn't afford, the hoo-hah of a big wedding circus. It was my second (the first was even more modest, but sucked), and we needed every spare penny to put my husband through computer school.

I am blessed with generous, creative, talented friends. One designed and made my wedding gown -- I paid for materials. Another baked and decorated a gorgeous three-layer wedding cake. One played guitar before and after the ceremony, and a number brought their guitars and jammed at the reception. One person took spectacular photos -- I paid for film and developing. Another did the flowers, both silk and real, after taking me shopping at a florists' discount supply warehouse.

The wedding was at a Unitarian Church, with a Unitarian minister. The reception was in my in-laws' back yard rose garden, with rented tables and chairs and tablecloths. One brother-in-law brought out his stereo and played music; another tended bar. My sister-in-law supervised the set-up at the house. One of my friends and I prepared all the food -- homemade potato salad, cole slaw, and macaroni salad, raw vegetables and dip, trays of cold cuts and fresh rolls, and cut-up fruit. We bought soda, beer, wine, vodka, etc.

We asked the four bridesmaids to wear blue dresses of any kind they liked, and the four groomsmen wore dark suits and blue ties. Everyone had boutonnieres or corsages. There were at least 50 guests including kids. The next day Dave and I drove to Cape Cod for a short honeymoon.

Many people told me this was the nicest, most tasteful yet relaxed wedding they'd ever attended.

[Henryman]

70. Show me the Data!!!

Until I see data, I will believe "$28,000" a is an estimated cost for the "average wedding" made by people (consultants) who have no idea what the average person spends but who think their clients are average. In my opinion, it's a sales stunt to drive up prices. Show me the data and assumptions!

[NashVegas]

73. "Fairy Tale" Weddings and "Princess" Dresses

Why should it surprise us that young women who can afford a 28k + (or think they can) wedding would opt for one in an age where we have McMansions and McCastles?

One of my nephews is getting married in Newport RI later this year in what I assume will be something very much like this. I'm thankful he's marrying into a good family, but on my income am not looking forward to the cost of a hotel room for two nights on top of air fare. I mean, it seems kind of crazy that I'll be paying probably 7x as much to attend than I will on their gift.

The gift of my presence, though, will be appreciated. He's a good kid.

[fortyfeetunder]

127. Think this materiali$$$tic stuff emerged in the 1980's

I recall when my older siblings and their friends got married in the 70's... and it was mostly anti-traditional weddings, outdoor types, casual intimate affairs. I saw the turnaround early 80's...I wanna say Chuck and Di's wedding was a contributing factor, but I recall seeing more ostentatious affairs...

[Eurobabe]

76. My daughter's friend is marrying in Oct., the parents gave choice $30K

for the wedding & reception OR $30K for a downpayment on a house. The girl chose the $30K for the wedding, including a $5K dress. :crazy: :crazy:

My daughter in her infinite wisdom said "that was dumb. If you gave me $30K, I'd use that for a house!!"

[BluePatriot]

83. oh man

:crazy:

Kudos to your daughter!

[sammythecat]

106. I second the kudos for your daughter

and the other girl should have her marriage license suspended until she's through with puberty.

I wonder if it troubles her parents that she made such a foolish and immature decision. In a year or two she'll probably be a parent herself and that is sad.

[susanna]

138. OMG. Like I said earlier, I married a bit older...

...and we already had our houses.

Of course, if they were younger folks, do they even truly understand the equity they pissed away? Sheeee-oooot, for that kind of money I would put together the cheapest wedding EVER and invested the 30K in a decent house.

But then I guess it takes all kinds...

[MissB]

78. I do think it is foolish to spend that sort of money.

Unless it is a drop of a bucket for your budget. For most Americans, that would represent going into serious debt, or spending money that could be applied towards a house instead.

I've been married for nearly 12 years. We had an outdoor wedding with a friend officiating. The biggest expenses were the tent rentals and the marimba band. My sil kept the buffet tables full (we did all of the food and used a friend's catering equipment) and we had beer and wine donated by some friends of ours. It was a great bash, but we spent maybe $3k altogether. We could afford that between the two of us without any scrimping.

I can't imagine the burden of wedding debt on a new marriage.

[rox63]

82. Mine was about $3,000 back in 1988

Including a catered reception for 100 guests (at the local Holiday Inn's function hall), limos for the wedding party, a big tiered wedding cake, professional photographer, and a dj entertaining the guests. We did a church wedding with me in a beautiful white gown ($350 for a discontinued style at a bridal shop) and rented tuxes for the guys. And the reception was a great party.

The marriage only lasted 5 years. But at least we didn't start out with a mountain of wedding debt. The divorce was much cheaper, less than $1,000. No kids or pets to determine custody of, and we never became homeowners during the marriage. The only things left to split up were the bills.

[pnwmom]

99. But that was almost 19 years ago. You can't really compare

costs then and now.

Besides, the "average" numbers they throw around usually include the honeymoon, too. And catered reception prices vary hugely depending on whether the wedding is in an expensive urban area like New York or Boston, or a small town in the south or midwest.

[rox63]

111. We were in the metro-Boston area

And for our honeymoon, we drove up to a romantic country inn up in northern VT for a few days. We would have continued the trip by driving up to Montreal afterwards. But we got into a car accident and totalled his car. No serious injuries, thank goodness. But maybe I should have seen it as an omen of things to come in the marriage.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

84. That's the average, not the mode.

You can't have a wedding that costs less than zero dollars. And there's no limit.

So ultra rich weddings skew the average.

[Ellen Forradalom]

88. Our wedding was at home

Cost maybe a few grand. Yet it was a tasteful affair.

[Tracer]

90. My niece and her fiancee ...

... went to City Hall on their lunch hour and got married.

Then they went back to work.

That's pretty much a zero cost wedding.

(And they are still married!)

[pnwmom]

93. When I've seen those kind of statistics --

in the wedding magazines around the house when my daughter got married -- they often included the honeymoon as part of the cost of the wedding.

So that's another factor.

[KharmaTrain]

98. We've Got A June Headache...Wedding Planned

My daughter has modest tastes. Last year we attended a wedding in Midtown Manhattan that easily crossed the 75k mark, she wanted and has planned far less...but it isn't cheap. By doing many of the arrangements through personal contacts and careful investigating, we've found very competitive prices. The poor economy is taking a bite on many of the banquet halls and "wedding mills" that were turning away bookings a year or two ago. Nonetheless, it's still expensive as is the price of education and just surviving.

In contrast, my wife and I will be celebrating our 25th this year and we recently found the bills for our reception...all total it was around $2500. For comparison, I had just graduated college and was earning a whopping 12k a year (my wife found various jobs to add another 8k) and one could live on $500 a month (barely).

I think the bigger issue is who is allowed to get married and the longevity of those who do get married. The price of a happy, healthy and lasting marriage can't be calculated.

[NewJeffCT]

101. You can even get wedding insurance now

For example, if a hurricane cancels your wedding... or, if the wedding gown gets destroyed by the cat the night before the wedding.

Won't cover a "runaway bride" situation.

They had a guy on local radio about it a week or two back.

[ComerPerro]

107. Mine (which will be in Oct) is looking to be about $7k

which is about as cheap as we can make it with 200 guests (big families, tons of friends).

Ceremony, including officiant, marriage license, etc etc, under $1k.

Reception is where the costs come in. The room itself is $1500, and food catered is another $4-5k

So it adds up.

Dress is covered, and my tux rental is free. So that helps. And bridesmaids and groomsmen are paying for their own.

[On the Road]

108. My Wedding Was Less Than $3,000

It was a nice sit-down wedding for 80 people in Connecticut. It was 1983, but still...

The church was Yale chapel, which we got for free. Had a professor and fellow grad student (a Jesuit) do the ceremony. The reception was at my boss's business club, which was in a townhouse a short walk across the green. They didn't normally do banquets, welcomed our business, and were very reasonable. We brought our own beer, wine, and champagne and did not serve mixed drinks. We found a local jazz band, mostly talented older folks who performed part time and only cost $300. Went to a local baker for the cake and a local florist for the flowers. My ex planned it all and it turned out really nicely.

I can't believe people of limited means blow so much money, especially added to the cost of the ring, the honeymoon, and often new housing. And half the time those wedding halls are nothing special.

[B Calm]

110. Sounds like my son's wedding. I thought his fiancee was nuts.

Her parents are still pissed off at us for not helping out with their expenses for their daughters extravagant wedding. But, god damn, I'm just a working man trying to save for my retirement and I'll be damn if I was going to throw away hard earned money on a one day party just so his daughter could have the wedding she's always dreamed of having.

[B Calm]

112. I think it was when we heard she had to have an ice sculpture at the

reception when I decided I'll just keep my big mouth shut, rent my tux and let her parents pay for the damn wedding! I just finished paying for my son's college education, and bought him a cheap fixer-upper home. He was debt free and sitting good. She brought in all her college debts and didn't even have a degree.

[mainegreen]

114. Mine was $3.5k one year ago catering to 80 w/band, flowers, catering, open bar in a historic house.

I bought a tailored US made suit and my wife a tailored dress. How? We did our homework before the wedding. It took a year of research but it shaved about 10 grand off the cost, and our wedding was nicer and homier than any other wedding I've been too.

Really, sometimes I'm amazed at how people throw away money on weddings for what appears to be very little in return. With a little research you can get great stuff for low cost. One big cost is venue: we went to a historical society. Got a 300 year old colonial farmhouse with restored barn/w modern kitchen and fireplace (working w/wood), tables and chairs for, get this: $150! Thats right $150! :rofl:
Sure we had one weekend to pick from (between a Smithsonian traveling show and some other thing), but it happened to be peak foliage weekend.
Both my wife and I went to an old Italian tailor to get our suit/dress, and that was a LOT cheaper than buying it pre-made, and looked better and fit great to boot! Sure, we had to plan nine months ahead, but shouldn't you be doing that anyway? Catering was buffet style (saves on the wait staff), but it was huge and all-organic with both meat and vegan options. Open bar was cheap because WE brought the booze. That saves a bundle, especially when you buy in bulk at the discount booze shop! ;)
The band cost us $150 and we had to feed them. They we're a bluegrass hillbilly band and often you can find them playing out on the streets in my home city. Much cheaper than so called professionals and they sounded better to boot.
We had no consultants and did everything ourselves, cut costs EVERYWHERE, and as a result had way more to spend on the honeymoon!

$28k? Pfffffft! :rofl:

[Solon]

118. My sister's wedding, about 2 weeks ago now, cost less than a third of that...

Spread across two families, nice reception, with DJ, the wedding was tasteful, if not totally extravagant, etc.

It also helped that my BIL's dad was a limo driver, and my Uncle a graphic designer, helped a LOT in some of the bigger expenses. Also had quite a few deals and coupons, though my Mom and Sister dealt with those, my only responsibility was not to trip while walking up the aisle.

[LostInAnomie]

120. The best wedding I have ever been to cost about $500.

A justice of the peace, a shelter house at a city park, a cheap wedding dress, and a couple that didn't need frivolous shit to show that they want to spend the rest of their lives together.

I hope my wedding is half that good.

My sister's wedding, on the other hand, cost about $35k. The bouquet cost a ton and the dress cost more. The cake cost more than the dress and bouquet combined. A fancy wedding hall, fancy catering, open bar, photographer, limos, etc. It was a nice wedding, but far too much. I promised myself then and there that my wedding would not cost more than $5k, no matter what my future wife says.

On the plus side of that wedding though, I got laid hardcore in the parking lot by a chick that LOVES weddings.

[Broken_Hero]

121. Damn

my wedding only cost me around...300 bucks.

[Reverend_Smitty]

124. yet another reason why I never want to get married...

I don't have a problem with sharing my life with another person but who needs to drop 30 grand on a dress I'll never wear again to a party with crappy food to prove my love.

[Left Is Write]

125. None of that is required in order to be married.

If you don't want to be married, you don't want to be married, but that should have nothing to do with "weddings." Anyone can be married for the cost of the license, sans expensive dress or party.

[Reverend_Smitty]

126. This is just a personal belief of mine...

but I just personally don't see the point in any of it especially the wedding part. I don't particularly want any kids, I'll have a good job with benefits and insurance and after a while of living with someone the state considers you common law anyway. I guess I'm just rebelling against society constantly putting pressure on women especially to get married and have that big fancy wedding. Another bit of it definitely stems from a fear of commitment on my part but that's another story entirely :)

But I do understand what you are saying a wedding and a marriage are not the same thing but I just wash my hands of the whole thing. Then again this is "20's me" speaking..."30's me" might think something different and "20's me" could possibly consider "30's me" to be a sell-out one day :P

[REP]

128. Sell-Out Here

I had never, ever planned nor wanted to get married. I'm not property to be sold to the highest bidder, and I don't need the state's blessing on my union.

Guess what I'm doing in a little over a week. That's right - getting married. In large part for the legal ramifications of medical decisions, inheritence, etc but also because it means a lot to the guy I'm marrying (who I've been with for over 14 years and had planned on being with forever anyway). Yeah, I do sorta feel like a sell-out because there's so much about legal marriage and its history that pisses me off, yet I'm having a wedding with a fluffy white dress and flowers and all that stuff.

I haven't sold out all the way - I've been sterilized twice, and we both agree - no kids. One reason we're doing this thing!

So, if some point you find yourself doing it, don't feel too weird - you won't be alone. And if you don't, well, rock on!

[susanna]

139. I had the same feelings and thoughts, REP.

I think I really did it to give my Mom and Dad a thank you for all they have done for me. Sounds corny, but they are very traditional and my wedding made them so very happy. I would do it again in a heartbeat. We were extremely lucky to be able to make that happen. I know that it is not so easy for everyone. :-(

[Deja Q]

131. So that's why repubs are for marriage! At least the ones backed by the 'marriage industry'

:wow:

[billyskank]

132. Discounting for a moment the unlikelihood of my getting married

I can guarantee that MY wedding won't cost anywhere near that much.

[Liberal Veteran]

133. I've always been appalled at extravagant weddings and receptions.

In my opinion, it seems like the gaudiness of many weddings actually undermines the significance of the event and going into debt or draining your savings for a very large wedding is just not a good idea regardless.

[JanMichael]

135. Stephanie and I got married for a whopping $85!

Yes eighty-five dollars not eighty-five thousand dollars.

Sarasota County Courthouse, can't beat it.

$28,000? That's for the birds.

[northzax]

136. last year I went to five weddings

the cheapest was definately my sister's, but even then, if it wasn't for connections, it would have topped 15 grand or so. I would estimate that the grand total of them all was probably a million dollars. But then, they have the money (or their parents do) when you are worth 50 million or so,

true, this number was skewed by the fact that one of them was easily $500,000, but that was still only about $1,000 a head overall. considering there was a 4,000 square foot installed dance floor (about $10,000), two bands ($25,000) a rehersal dinner for 100 with bar ($15,000) a really great photographer ($8,000), it's not bad. I mean the champagne toast alone cost $10,000 or so (I know, I picked it out) the gift baskets in hotel rooms included $100 bottles of wine (picked those too) yes, uselessly extravagant, but a hell of a party.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

137. Mine cost $250...

AND we took 14 people out to eat, AND had appetizers. AND the food was amazing.
Duckie

[Skittles]

141. if a gal wants to spend that much money that's your first clue guys

don't do it

[XemaSab]

142. word

n/t