Sweet heaven, my life is so much more boring than Anna Nicole's death!

[crim son]

I was out tonight as usual and couldn't think of any reason not to come home and check out DU. This is a sign that I am deeply screwn. On the plus side: my young buff bartender made another attempt (no fucking idea why - no fucking idea) but on the negative side: I turned him down, TWICE and I found my mind wandering to you imaginary people, DU people. I'm doomed because I prefer my cyber relationships in all their bullshit shallowness, to real relationships with somewhat chubby & bearded men. Whatever shall I do This is it: I will be alone forever! :cry: I do, however bear in mind the words of certain DUers tonight re: needing a positive thought. I need it and I'm indulging. Thanks you. :hug:

P.S. if there are no spelling mistakes in this it's a miracle. Down on your knees!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear crim son!

Your life is not more boring than that woman's death!

I hear you about needing reinforcement, however.........

I needed some earlier, and I got it.......

You are a lovely and very intelligent young woman!

You are not always going to be alone, sweetie.....

And the people here are every bit as real as that chubby, bearded bartender.......

Now c'mere.....have a hug! :loveya: :hug: :loveya:

[crim son]

3. I will take that dear hug and return one:

:hug: Fortunately the bartender is neither chubby nor bearded but rather perfect. Me, I have no interest in perfect people. Too much possibility of being replaced. Even I am astonished that he keeps trying... it's not like I go there dressed provocatively, nor am I sadly drunk or whatever. He's like me: he doesn't like to be turned down. hehe. Hi, CalPeg! :loveya:

[hfojvt]

2. Pretty sure I am not imaginary

also sure that many people can bullsh*t in person much better than I can even online.

Not sure what else is going on in DU, except a fairly large battle over David Obey in GD.

[crim son]

5. The thing is, we share some fundamental viewpoints

and, furthermore, we know nothing about one another. This makes you and I much better friends than me and whoever I et tonight who was curious if I was going to be... flexible. DUers are better than the real world, in many instances.

[hfojvt]

9. you still know nothing about me?

I know that you are somewhere in New England, and I must know a few other factoids. Something about kids and a theoretical physicist. I feel like it is somebody that I meet in this town who would know nothing about me (and probably not care) than somebody who has been reading my posts here for a couple years. I have written in the past about the advantages DU has over a real-world relationship, but I am not sure it works for me. Then again, neither does the real world.

[crim son]

14. Then we have that much in common.

You have a fine memory. What I mean is, I can't imagine that the personas that we reveal on DU have much to do with the whole picture of who we are, you and me.

I don't know though. Perhaps we are nothingg more than what we present here. More likely is the fact that I've been attacked lately for being myself and I've lost the will to give a shit.

Partly my Friday night out talking, partly just the ugly truth. I suck, hfojvt.

[hfojvt]

22. well the young bartender did not think so

and neither do I (for that last line). "What's bizarre? I mean, we are all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all." "Why were you so surprised that you never saw the Stranger, did you ever let your lover see the Stranger in yourself?"

I just think that you can get to know somebody as easily on DU as you can at work or at a bar or a weekly club meeting or monthly bored meeting. More readily, perhaps, since anonymity allows some barriers to drop, and there are not other things like eating, presentations, work and agendas getting in the way.

Not sure about the attacks. People do not usually want others to be themselves. For example, I don't want you to be yourself, unless yourself if somebody who is nice to me and laughs at my jokes.

[crim son]

23. I assure you, I will be nice to you and at least will attempt

to muster a chuckle at your jokes.

The fact that you've devoted to few lines to this conversation well, it's very kind of you.

I will to go sleep now. I always try to sleep when I'm happy because it's so much better than the alternative. -Lisa

P.S. Do you really believe we can get to know one another this way? I'm neve sure. Good night.

[SeattleGirl]

4. Hugs on the way, darlin'

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[crim son]

6. Thank you, angel.

I'm really very cheerful! It just struck me at about midnight that I'd rather be here, posting to people I don't know, than at the Sea Dog perusing unattractive young males. :hug: I do appreciate the hugs.

[Ptah]

7. Freedom's just another word

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjtfGvFFt48

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose
Nothin' don't mean nothin' hon' if it ain't free, no no
And feelin' good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues
You know, feelin' good was good enough for me
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee

[crim son]

8. Hi, Ptah. That's me, nothing further to lose.

At times it's invigorating and at times it makes me want to curl up and die. You know? I hope not.

[Ptah]

11. Have I felt despair?

Yes.

And survived and grown.

[crim son]

15. Still attempting to survive.

Finding it harder now that the reason for despair is completely gone and what's left is just survival, on my own. I'm sure you uderstand. :hug: I like the picture.

[SPKrazy]

10. Take This!

:hug: :hug: :hug:

+++++ thoughts indeed!

lots of them

:loveya: :loveya: :loveya:

[crim son]

19. I'll take them s weetpea.

My problem is I keep comparing everybody I meet to my dear DU friends. Even though I barely know you people, you are a tremendous improvement over reality! :hug:

pawpicker, please tell me to grow up and give up. :) I'm very tired of hope and am ready to deal with reality now.

[Zookeeper]

12. Let's see, CrimSon....

ANS died of a probable drug overdose, with a sleezy lawyer for a companion, a greedy family of origin, put her infant daughter on a diet so she'd be "sexy," and had just lost her son to drugs.

Be happy that your life is more boring than Anna Nicole's death. At least you're in control. :thumbsup:

And you're beautiful! No wonder you have younger guys chasing you.

:hi:

[crim son]

20. Ah, sweetie, you must not be my age. They chase me

because they think I'm desperate enough to go for it. They don't count on my being wise enough to know better. I thank you for the compliment. :pals::

[WCGreen]

13. How about a chubby bearded man who posts on the internet...

[crim son]

16. He is very much more interesting because he's unattainable.

These are the people I like best: the ones who, even if they were to reject me, I could say about them they don't know a thing about my world..

From what I hear, you are taken anyway. :)

[WCGreen]

17. yes, but a man can dream a little dream of you...

[crim son]

18. I suppose he could,

with the right financial incentives and/or appropriate degree of mental disabililty.

Chris, I thank you. :hug:

[The Traveler]

21. Cyber relationships are safer, eh?

While not without their use, cyber relationships are, uh, also more sterile. Safe. Easy.

I want you here. When you write your words on these wires that tie us together, those phrases somehow bring me comfort. Selfish me. I do want you here.

But here's truth, gorgeous woman. You are not doomed. It is your choice to retreat from buff young bar tenders and other such pleasures. At some point, you may choose otherwise. My own suggestion ... make that sooner rather than later. We only get so many sunrises, and while we are wise to spend a certain number of those in quiet contemplation this, like any virtue, can be taken to an extreme.

What I would want for you is that realization that life is sweetest when, to paraphrase Thoreau, when one is sucking the marrow from its bones. What does that mean for you? Whatever it means, it will be scary .... a little bit. Do it anyway ... just see what happens next.

:hug:

Trav

[crim son]

29. Can't do it.

I'm broken. But I'm cheerful. :hi:

[billyskank]

24. Sigh...

:hug:

:*

[crim son]

30. Hi my dear.

It's a lovely, melting morning. :hug:

[billyskank]

31. Hi baby

:*

:loveya:

[mainegreen]

25. I'm not imaginary! I'm real I swear!

But I can't prove it!


There's nothing wrong with enjoying spending time here. Communication is communication, whether in person, on the phone, or online.

Chubby bearded men?
:hug:

[crim son]

27. Chubby bearded men - most of the men in Bangor

are too heavy and have not-so-good facial hair. :) I don't have a problem with that but it would be interesting if one or two of them dared to be different. :)

[BarenakedLady]

26. Hey Chicky

:hug:

I hope you had a few drinks for me!

You are not doomed, my dear. You are beautiful, smart and courageous. Good things will be coming your way soon. I know it. You've been dealt a lot of shit lately. It will get better. But please don't make the mistake of thinking that you have to find Mr. Right in order to be truly happy. I won't ever make that mistake again (I hope).

:hug:

[crim son]

28. I'll be alone by choice.

I did have a couple drinks for you - the first two were all yours. Then, later, there was a young lad, very drunk, who was buying drinks for anybody who looked at him sideways. He kept telling me, "I've got five thousand bucks in my pocket. Yeah, baby. Five thousand!" And he bought me a drink. That one was for me :)

Hi BNL! :hi:

[BarenakedLady]

32. did you check his pockets?

;)

Thanks for the drinks, I needed them! I was a good girl last night and didn't partake. That may have been more because of a cold I'm getting + nighttime meds = sleepy BNL than anything else. :)

Hope you have a wonderful day, my friend!

:bounce: :bounce:

[billyskank]

33. I'm sorry you're sick

Recover soon! :hug:

:loveya:

[BarenakedLady]

35. Thank you

Unfortunately all three of my kids have it as well. I'm hoping we all get over it soon or else I'm going to have to quarantine the house. :hug: :loveya:

[Deja Q]

34. Dammit! But I had no idea we were shallow!

:(

May this virtual hug not be so shallow. :pals: :hug:

[crim son]

36. You aren't shallow.

Always bear in mind that whatever I post in the wee hours of Saturday morning, is tainted by stinkin' alcohol and may make no sense. I love the hug, and here's one for you. :hug: :pals:

[graywarrior]

37. Get thee out of Bangor!

[crim son]

38. Out of Bangor and to Costa Rica!

To start.

[graywarrior]

39. YES! Let's go. We can hitch a ride.