Step one: Steal two lobsters.

[otherlander]

Step two: (fill in the blank)

[Drum]

1. Put one in each coat pocket...

[charlie and algernon]

5. hope they think you wet yourself

pray the rubberbands don't break

[Maddy McCall]

2. Bring the water to a rolling boil.

[LeftyMom]

3. Step two: Ocean

Step three: STFU about it
Step four: Repeat

[otherlander]

11. Cool!

Have you ever actually d... oh, right. Step three.:yoiks:

[MonkeyFunk]

4. Step two:

steal a pound of Plugras butter while you're at it.

[otherlander]

22. Might as well take some seaweed too.

Then you can make Hedonist's Deluxe. :9 :evilgrin:

[InternalDialogue]

6. Step two: Prank-call the senior center on dodgeball night.

Mmm. I see this plan coming together just fine.

[orleans]

7. LOL. (funny, absurd, disconnected: perfect response!)

[mainegreen]

8. Place in elevator: send to lobby.

There's a story behind that.

[otherlander]

13. Tell us?

Please? :7

[mainegreen]

17. K. I used to live in a very weird building.

I came home one night around 2 am. In the lobby I pressed the elevator button and the elevator door opened with two crabs scuttling around in it (sorry not lobsters but close). Both crabs looked at me, scuttled into the corner and started clacking their claws and waving them in the air. Of course I thought 'WTF are two crabs doing in the elevator', but this was a really weird building so I got in the elevator and went up to my floor, eying the crabs the whole way. They waved their claws around the whole ride up, but didn't attack me. On my floor I told my roommate what I found, and we got a plastic grocery bag and a spatula and went back to the elevator. We somehow shoveled the two crabs into the bag, drove to the ocean and tossed them in. I always wondered how two crabs got in the elevator. Hence my post. Not lobsters, though. Close.

[underpants]

9. Step two; place one on each knee Step Three: get glass of water Step four: drink it while talking

Step Five: sit back and wait for the movie deal

[AllegroRondo]

10. LobsterDome. Two lobsters enter, one lobster leaves.

And find a way to take bets on the outcome.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

12. cook em. and eat em.

[Maineiac]

14. Coat yourself in butter and lemon so they don't attack you.

[Redstone]

15. Take the rubber bands off their claws and stuff 'em down your pants.

You'll dance a lively jig then, won't you?

Redstone

[mainegreen]

19. This link is for you then:

Similar line of thinking.
http://weebls-stuff.com/toons/crabs/

:7

[Redstone]

21. That guy's truly fucking demented, and I say that in the nicest possible way.

I'm definitely going back there for more later.

Redstone

[otherlander]

23. What.

The fuck.
What the fucking hell?!?!? :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Gormy Cuss]

16. Christen them Crusher and Pincher. Bring them to the Food Network

and take over the set of Iron Chef America.

Introduce Crusher and Pincher the chefs chosen to battle in Kitchen Stadium that day.

Special ingredient: Tony Bourdain.

[otherlander]

26. Mmm.....

Bourdain souflet...

[flvegan]

18. Step two: take pics

(assuming these are from a restaurant tank somewhere);

Step three: in waterproof ink, write "Please don't eat me" on the tail and claws;

Step four: take pics, again

Step five: find a proper place to release them into the ocean

Step six: Breathe deeply, have a drink on me.

Step seven: After a couple months, fwd the pics to...well, folks that'd like to see that kinda stuff.

Step eight (getting evil now): Go back for two more, and repeat.

[Redstone]

20. Hey, they wouldn't have to tell ME that twice;

I'm hideously allergic to shellfish.

Redstone

[Richard Steele]

24. The next steps require two hollowed-out loofahs and Bill O'Reilly's home address.

Make sure you have those on hand before proceeding!

[unpossibles]

25. step three: PROFIT! n/t

[Elidor]

27. Hehe, beat me to it n/t

[smoogatz]

28. FedEx them to me.

Be sure to pack them in dry ice. We live in Wisconsin, but our souls still reside on Cape Cod. If you think of it, send some Wellfleet oysters, too.

[Merrick]

29. Step 2: Rent them a furnished apartment

Step 3: Return a year later and see what they've done with the place

[Breeze54]

30. Step Two: Row back to shore.

Step Three: Avoid beatings by owners/friends of lobster traps.

Step Four: Have bonfire and clambake on beach.

Step Five: Enjoy with melted butter!

[philosophie_en_rose]

31. Step two: Never talk about lobster fight club.

:)