On a serious note: teachers having sex with students

[GaYellowDawg]

As someone involved in education, I think it's despicable, no matter what the situation is.

It's my opinion that teachers carry a certain responsibility with them into the classroom. I think that having a sexual relationship with a student is a fundamental betrayal of trust. I have nothing but contempt for anyone who gets involved with a student, and I don't care what the ages of the respective people are except to say that the younger the student, the worse the offense becomes to me.

No one can help noticing that a student is attractive (although personally, I find it extremely distasteful that any high school teacher would think anything beyond "cute kid"), but no teacher should ever act on it. My first teaching assignment was as a 23-year-old teaching assistant. Many of the students were only 3-4 years younger, and some were my age. I wouldn't have considered sleeping with any of them, no matter how attractive they were. If nothing else, it should be, simply, a matter of professional ethics. Anyone who feels differently shouldn't be in teaching, in my opinion.

[Midlodemocrat]

1. Yup. I started teaching high school when I was 21.

I was kinda cute back then, too. Some of the students were 19.

Off. Limits.

[LostinVA]

2. Excellent post

[Connonym]

3. More than one teacher in my high school

went on to marry a student. Hell one of them actually divorced the first student he married so that he could marry a different one. Creepy.

[tigereye]

4. thank you for this post!

:thumbsup:

[Reverend_Smitty]

5. I agree with you 100%

It's fun to joke about the "hot" teacher but when you are in a position of authority like a teacher any sexual activity is out of bounds...it's just not something you should do. When I was in college I spent an entire semester working at a high school and we all had to listen to a mini-lecture about inappropriate behavior and how to cover your ass if one of the students made a pass at you. It's just a stupid way to jeopardize your career

[LanternWaste]

6. Taking your last statement just a bit farther...

In the early- and mid-nineties, I worked in a cancer outpatient center. Cancer, being a most indiscriminate villain, attacked old and young, male and female, attractive and... not-so-attractive. I assisted many patients of both genders in undressing and redressing themselves. And I readily admit that many of the patients were quite attractive.

That bit of a qualifier being said-- I quickly learned (as did all my co-workers) that once we put on the white lab-coat, the libido gets turned off. Period. Regardless of the wishes of the patient, we maintained our decorum as soon as we walked into the building. Eight hours of "gestalt starvation" as it was called, was a small price to pay to work in such a wonderful and caring environment.

I've had patients (and the daughters and mothers of patients) come onto me and to the last, we maintained that it was simply not a good idea to involve oneself with a patient or their family members (in the context of the relationships being discussed in this thread) until at the very least that patient had finished their course of treatment.

My point is... a person can easily brush aside notions of sex and/or passion when they are determined to, regardless of location or time. It's our choice (and responsibility) to respond to or deny those feelings. Many people, not only teachers and cops, are tasked with positions of authority or responsibility into which passions have absolutely no place.

Taking your last statement ("If nothing else, it should be, simply, a matter of professional ethics") just a bit farther-- it's a matter of personal ethics also. In many instances, sexual advances may not be illegal or even against company policy, but that does not cover up the fact that we, as people have a responsibility to maintain ethical behavior, common decency and respect to everyone we encounter, no matter where we are.

[lukasahero]

10. "It's our choice (and responsibility) to respond to or deny those feelings."

Very well said. Your whole post is great but that line really sums it up.

:applause:

[Beausoir]

7. Thank you.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. i completely agree. theres a power imbalance and its unethical.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

9. My uncle went on in 1992 to marry one of his former HS students.

They had two children, both decent young humans, the younger one truly intelligent and charming.

My uncle and the woman were divorced about 6 or 7 years ago now.

I don't know why they divorced, specifically--I know it was because they couldn't stand one another, not because of infidelity or any such thing. Perhaps he shouldn't have married a former student. Perhaps there were other issues, the "former student" factor not included. I think it was just because the woman was still very young when she married my uncle, whatever that stems from. But now they are closer than when they were forced to live with one another, and they both love and take good care of their girls. My uncle is a good man, for all he can drive me crazy, and I do not judge him at all for marrying a former student.

As far as high school and younger goes, I definitely agree with you 100%, certainly while the teacher is still in charge of the students and probably for many years afterwards. But once people are in college? After college? I think that is where the line is blurred some.

[MAGICBULLET]

11. agree wholeheartedly

have you seen "Notes on a Scandal"?

[johnnie]

12. I agree 100%

Too many people are too sexually motivated and driven. If someone can't control themselves in positions such as being a teacher, they should get the fuck out of the business.

The truth is, we have not evolved as far as we think we have.

[undeterred]

13. One of my college roommates married her teaching assistant

She was in a sophomore level chem class for chem majors, which would have made her about 19, and he was a first year grad student, which would have made him about 22. It was love at first sight, move in together after the semester was over, get married in less than a year and start a big Catholic family immediately. They were made for each other and they knew it. I can't say I had any big moral qualms about it, then or now.

I've been a teacher myself, of other adults, and I've actively resisted getting involved with people who were students. But sometimes, there are exceptions.