How did you end your relationship with your last SO? or how did you SO end it

[LynneSin]

Me?

I realized after one weekend at my parents house with him that this was the last weekend my family would ever see him because I knew that without a doubt that he was absolutely wrong for me (took me 8 years).

And when I end things I cut it off cold turkey although thanks to email, it drug out for an additional 3 weeks until I put his address on block with every single account I had including my work address.

I still have a copy of all those emails and pictures of us from the party we attended while visiting my family that last weekend. And once year around the time of our breakup I read through the emails just to remind myself that never ever again will I stick with a relationship that is unhealthy. No, he didn't harm me in anyway physical but emotionally he was just draining me dry.

[Zavulon]

1. I told her that it was over.

That's it. I just said "This is over. I'm not happy, you're not happy, and life is just too short to waste on bullshit like this."

[MonkeyFunk]

2. not well n/t

[Zuiderelle]

3. It was about five years ago, and she decided that she wasn't gay.

It really sucked. The only good thing is that I think she's decided now that she was wrong. :)

You're right that sticking with a relationship that isn't working is unhealthy. I'm very lucky to have finally met my soulmate. It's worth the wait.

[ohiosmith]

4. Bastard! Bitch! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! Get out! I'm going! Then go, what are you doing? Getting

my Revolver album. Don't take any of my LPs. Fuck you! FUCK YOU!

[LynneSin]

7. Wow - what did you do to piss her off

:shrug:

[ohiosmith]

8. Left the toilet seat up.

[taterguy]

5. She called me and said she met someone else

We lived 250 + miles away but we had been seeing each other two years so hearing it over the phone was a bit annoying.

I got over it though and met the woman of my dreams a few weeks later.

[Dangerously Amused]

6. Oh, let's see...

We lived across the country from each other. Life seemed grand. Then shortly after receiving a lovely valentine proclaiming his undying love, he suddenly and without explanation ceased all communication for almost a month. I knew he didn't have health insurance and that his income was unreliable, so as the days wore on I became worried out of my mind that he was lying in a coma somewhere, or too sick and weak to make contact and without the resources to get medical attention, or was suddenly homeless or without utilities because he couldn't make his rent or bills... or worse...

As one might imagine, terrible angst ensued, and many a sleepless night.

Then he wrote a relatively brief email to say he was sorry to have been so out of touch, but he had been busy falling in love with someone else and oops, our "once-in-a-lifetime" love wasn't really, after all.


And that's all I have to day about that.

[u4ic]

42. .

:hug:

[Dangerously Amused]

50. Thank you.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

43. Ahhhh DA

:hug:

ain't love grand?

[Dangerously Amused]

51. Thank you.

:hug:

[idgiehkt]

53. I'll put a hug in here for you too

although as you know, it's implied. :hug:

[Dangerously Amused]

55. Yep. Thanks.

:hug:



And sorry about your addict. What a helpless feeling it must be to watch someone you love slipping away like that.

[crim son]

9. He ended it by email. Then emailed a change of heart,

then ended it again. Five months later he emailed and we met & were on again for fewer than 24 hrs. Next afternoon we were off. Been off ever since, but for one contact where he pretended not to be himself. :crazy:

If I thought I could get away with it, I'd do him serious damage.

[hfojvt]

39. uh oh, that's sounds like my last good-bye

except it was not much of a relationship. It was an IM thing, that I contacted her and started talking about books. Then I sent a picture and we did some more IMing. I sent some IMs that got no answer and generally felt like she was blowing me off. So I quit initiating and never heard from her. Eventually I had to removed Yahoo messenger to get her off my buddy list. Then my hard drive died. When I got a new hard drive I reinstalled messenger and she came back on my buddy list. The buddy list would notify me when she came on line, and lots of times that would startle me. So one time I wrote her 'geez, you scared the crap out of me' and we had a good talk. I tried to arrange an actual date and thought I had, a simple movie date (sort of). A date she forgot about and then said she didn't have time for. I tried for a few more weeks to set up a meeting but found the whole thing extremely frustrating. So I sent an email explaining my view and said I was done trying.
Does she want to hurt me :hide: more than she already has?

[crim son]

40. I'm sorry! Online relationships can have a great impact, and it's

so easy both to get your feelings hurt and to misjudge one another's intentions. She didn't want to hurt you, probably; she just wanted it to stay the way it was, nice and safe.

[johnnie]

10. I developed asthma...

...and couldn't blow her up any longer.

[ohiosmith]

12. Two words: Bicycle pump.

[johnnie]

15. Ummm..excuse me

We weren't into that weird stuff. She was very straight-laced and didn't like to use those types of "devices".

[I Have A Dream]

61. HAAA!

:rofl:

[Gormy Cuss]

14. Better to have it end that way than

via a slow leak.

[johnnie]

17. That's true

But man... did I spend a lot of bicycle tube repair kits? That's one thing I DON'T miss.

[hippywife]

18. ...

High maintenance woman, huh? ;)

[johnnie]

19. .

:rofl:

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

34. Mary Jane?

[Oeditpus Rex]

11. She just... left

I came home from work one night and she was gone, along with a lot of her stuff.

[Dangerously Amused]

21. Bitch.

I will KICK HER ASS, yes indeed!!



:mad:



Oh, wait... that leaves you... available...



:think:



:bounce:

[ellisonz]

25. That sucks...at least she didn't vandalize the place before she left.

Wimin'

:argh:

[u4ic]

41. Wow

Sorry to hear that. :hug:


Did she ever contact you again?

[Oeditpus Rex]

48. Oh, yeah

She helped me find this house after I had to sell ours, and she was a huge help with the latter. Matter o' fact, she arranged it; a co-worker of hers bought it. We still IM and e-mail sometimes. We're friends; we always had that.

I have no ill will whatsoever for her. I still had some growing up to do (this was 4 1/2 years ago) and my job had brought out the bitch in me.

I'd have preferred she hadn't done it on the sly, though. I guess she just didn't want the confrontation.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

13. the story with my last SO is too long...the last person i dated for more than 2 weeks

told me one weekend that her husband would be in town from iraq.

this made me (a) laugh (b) say this is not my thing. i dont like to date married people.


on the whole it was an interesting summer before i met lisa.

[idgiehkt]

16. She was an addict

It had been off again on again and one night I drove to her town to see her and was upset about some tragic things that had happened at the animal shelter where I worked and she decided that using was more important to her that night, although I was about as upset that night as I will ever get. After that I knew it was over, it is ever thus with addicts that in the end the drug of choice, whether it is a substance or sex (or even just a need for sexual attention) or whatever, always wins. I seem to attract every kind of addict into my life; she was hooked on cocaine.

[Javaman]

20. She broke my heart. nt

[1gobluedem]

22. He ended it with me

By saying he never wanted to get married, settle down, or have kids.

Not long after he got married, settled down, and had a kid. It was just me apparently that he didn't want this life with. Found out later he was dating the woman he married when he was still in a relationship with me.

I see now it would never have worked but I was pretty broken up at the time; we had dated for six years.

I'm quite happy now in my current relationship which is much healthier than that one was. Everything happens for a reason.

[GirlinContempt]

23. I don't even know who would count as my last boyfriend.

I tend to be a little hazy on the details of dating, as to when it becomes significant etc.
Probably just went our separate ways more or less mutually I think.
I usually manage to avoid scenes. It's unpleasant, ugly, and drags everyone around down. Sometimes they just happen and you gotta roll with it, but I try to ignore and avoid it as much as possible. I once cared for that person, they were once part of my life, and we probably have mutual friends who don't need our bullshit anymore than we really need it.

That said, i've had some messy ones. Just not recently.

[grannylib]

24. Glad to hear you were able to move on; good for you!

:-)
My last relationship before Hubby and I got married - we were "engaged to be engaged" as they say - promise ring and all that...
I found out it was over when I called hiim one time and his roommate called me someone else's name.

So. Never really did find out what happened. It was a long-distance thing, with someone I'd known for years but who had moved away. It was for the best, ultimately, but I really loved him and it was hard for a long time.
But it's all good now!

[KG]

26. she was politely asked to move out, ASAP.

it was over some time before, but an incident caused me to force the issue.

[ellisonz]

27. I left. Playing shrink get's old quick.

[bigwillq]

28. I couldn't help him any longer.

He needed more help than I could give him.

I had to be honest with him and tell him we couldn't go on as long as he was an addict and always in trouble with the law.

It was tough to leave, he told me I was abandoning him.

After moving to Cali he then went to jail a few months later. When he got out he told me I had to do what I had to do.

I still miss him. We haven't talked in over a year. I hope he's doing well.

[ceile]

29. Told him I needed a break.

So I moved out thinking space and time apart would make me feel closer to him. Nope. As soon as I moved out, I became happy being on my own. Never went back to him. We're still very close though.

[taterguy]

38. So you wanted to take a break, slow it down some have some . . .

Space

Did you ever give him back his black t-shirt?

[guitar man]

30. That was 18 years ago

Been with my current over 16 years.

I found out she had been fooling around while I was away. I was driving a truck at the time, mostly short haul with an overnight out of town run ever so often, that's when she'd get with this other guy. I found out from my oldest and dearest friend who had discovered the affair.

I didn't say a word. Most of my stuff was still stored at my parent's guest house, so all I had to pack up was a few clothes. I tied the pack on to the backrest, pulled out the choke, kicked the old Sportster a couple times, she fired up and I rode away. Never looked back.

[skygazer]

31. I ended it - it was pretty matter of fact

We'd dated for about 2 years but it wasn't going to go anywhere - he had never been married and wanted that and kids eventually and I'd already done that.

I told him that we both knew it would end eventually and that I felt it was time to move on. He wasn't happy but appreciated the fact that I didn't drag it out.

From what I understand, he's doing well which I'm glad of. He was a nice guy and we had a good time together.

[azmouse]

32. I married my first and only boyfriend

so I've never had to break up with anyone.

[Chan790]

33. She called me to break up with me...

over the phone, timed so I would get the call within an hour of getting home from driving 1/2 the length of the U.S. eastern seaboard to see her. I was upset at the time mostly because I was dead tired.

What's funny is that I found out later that it was because I was too serious about her and it freaked her out. I wasn't that serious about her...her best friend, our only mutual friend who was really close to both of us, was telling each of us what she thought we wanted to hear. The best friend is super-clingy and runs guys off by the 1000's...usually by saying "I love you" on third and fourth dates, calling 5 times a day every day, and not taking no for an answer. You can imagine what she was telling each of us.

Lesson learned: LDRs do not work. They especially don't work if your mutual friends are the sort of people who find stalkers endearing and romantic.

[lildreamer316]

35. Heh.

He died.





So anyway....

(It's really ok, I'm not upset in any way. Just thought I'd throw it in the ring for the hell of it. Sorry..I have a weird sense of humor.)

[CatholicEdHead]

36. She ended it

With a email after she would not answer my calls the past couple nights. There was one before that that did even more damage and never could quite go away.

[Xithras]

37. "I'm pregnant...and it isn't yours"

Yep, that's how she left me. She was living with me, I'd friggin PROPOSED to her, and yet she was shagging one of her co-workers AND her daughters speech therapist (you know, the one that I was PAYING FOR). Luckily for me, the conception date fell solidly in the middle of a 3 week vacation I'd taken with my dad, so I was never in the running for a paternity test. She was homeless 15 minutes later, and I never spoke with her again (I'm very liberal with sex...fidelity isn't really important to me, but honesty is). I later heard that the therapist ended up being daddy, and the two of them were married and divorced again in under six months.

Turned out to be a good thing. I'd been getting developing a better relationship with my ex for quite some time (that "ex" was the mother of my own daughter...a teenaged fling that resulted in a baby), and that breakup ended up pushing the two of us back together. We've been married for a decade now.

[SPKrazy]

44. Well, She Moved Away...

and we got together for a while on weekends... then, it just sort of fizzled out. Then I met someone else, and then she showed up at my door one morning and I was there with my someone else and I never saw her again. I've heard from her since then a couple of times.

Maybe I should google her?

:think:

[CrownPrinceBandar]

45. My soon-to-be ex-GF announced we were moving to Mississippi........

and I told her I wasn't going. It went downhill rather quickly after that.

It was a fun six years though.

[u4ic]

46. We'd only been dating

for a few months, and he hinted of how busy he would be getting. Calls, and seeing him became fewer and far between; then one day he helped me with something he had promised he would, and that was that. Nothing was officially spoken, no "I'm just too busy now"....

Every few months, I get an email or call from him wanting to go out for coffee or dinner, or some other sort of 'gesture' that he's thinking of me and/or trying to worm his way back into my life.

I'm not particularly interested.

[undeterred]

47. There was a man I had been dating for 8 months

and I couldn't decide how I felt about him. This was about two months after my last dog had died. We were on the phone one Saturday morning and I said I felt like going to the animal shelter today to get a new dog. And he said, "Oh, no, that could be dangerous". In that instant I knew that he was too wimpy for me. Afraid of the dog pound, give me a break. I adopted my current dog during the next week and never went out with him again. We lived about 50 miles apart, so I just stopped making the effort. But I was looking for a sign, and he sure gave me one.

[achtung_circus]

49. If you really mean significant

that would be the ex-wife.

She was away doing a locum for a couple of weeks when my mental dam broke. I decided enough was enough.

I put what was important to me in storage, met her at the door upon her return, tried to talk to her outside, but she wasn't listening. Symptomatic, that. She went in the house, saw the lack of my stuff and asked what was going on. I told her that as she had been ignoring both me and what the marriage counsellor had to say, wasn't "getting" it, I planned on going away for a bit.

She told me to fuck off.

Subsequent phone conversations tended to degrade into her calling me a stupid fucking asshole until I told her that it was unproductive, future communications would either be polite, civilized and respectful or they would be conducted through lawyers.

That was 3-1/2 years ago. I'm much better now.

Anything since then has been fun, scary or insignificant, but I'm still looking and still hopeful.

[InvisibleTouch]

52. The way most of mine end, I suppose:

A slow but amicable drift apart that leaves us "still friends" and with good memories of each other.

Of course there's also been: "Don't ever crawl into my presence again!" (me to him)

and

"Oh, by the way, I'm getting married next week" (to someone else, naturally - him to me)

I don't do emotional entanglements anymore, as a general rule.

[Ptah]

54. I'll let Jimi sing it for me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPvsLdc48ys


Hey Joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
Hey Joe, I said where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
Alright. I'm goin down to shoot my old lady,
you know I caught her messin' 'round with another man.
Yeah,! I'm goin' down to shoot my old lady,
you know I caught her messin' 'round with another man.
Huh! And that ain't too cool.



but that feeling passed.

So I divorced her, was awarded custody and subsequently, child support as well.

[Kat45]

56. I just broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago.

We'd met online, on a site where people were looking for LTRs. So we both new from the beginning that we shared that goal. We were seeing each other for 10 months, the best times I'd had in years. We were good together. Things were really good and I could imagine a future with him. BUT I suspected he had a bit of a wall up that was preventing his feelings from growing. When he gave me a crockpot and a mop for my birthday and just a card for Valentine's Day, I knew I had to find out where things stood. Turned out I was right about the wall, but the reason for it blew my mind!

I have MS, and I'm fortunate that it's mainly in remission, such that nobody would guess that I have it. I only tell people on a need-to-know basis, and of course I had told him because anyone I'm getting involved with does deserve to know. Well he was intentionally holding back his feelings because I have MS, and he was worried that someday I could be in a wheelchair, in real bad shape and he would be resentful at having to stay at home to take care of me! I told him I deserve to have someone who can love me--which he didn't disagree with-- and I broke up with him. And he never did understand why his attitude is selfish.

[Kali]

57. Badly. I was an idiot.

Threw away a wonderful relationship for some cheap thrills. Hurt him very badly.

We later became friends again but have then drifted apart, both married others. I sometimes wonder if we will eventually reunite and be those old folks in the nursing home that get together in thier 90's. :rofl:

[leftofthedial]

58. I was eating a bowl of soup

I had a spoonful halfway to my mouth when she said, "Can we talk? I've been very unhappy and I want a divorce."

I said, "Cool! I was gonna ask you, but I figured that after 30 years together, 'can we talk' would mean let's try to actually talk."

[Pushed To The Left]

59. My fiance broke up with me by phone after 7 years together

At that point, we hadn't seen eachother in a few weeks and she had admitted some time earlier to accepting another man's phone number and talking to him, which felt like a betrayal to me. She thought I was overreacting, of course. Then, the Sunday before I was going to take a very important test that would determine whether or not I would need to take another class to graduate, she called me in the morning and fought with me for several hours. After we hung up, she called back to tell me that she received a message from this other guy (who supposedly didn't have her number, but apparently got it through caller ID..)and she felt excited by it and "wanted to be available for the opportunity". It looked like it was over, when all of a sudden she starts crying and apologizes profusely, saying they never met in person (besides when he gave her the number)and that she won't talk to him again. We ended up not breaking up then, but it seemed like only a matter of time. On the day we were finally going to see eachother, I called her and she told me that she met this other guy and had kissed him. I told her I couldn't stay with her if that was the case and she said "No, I'm breaking up with you!" saying that she broke up with me by kissing him. She told me "You're a pathetic loser!" before hanging up the phone. She called the next day to inform me that she didn't actually kiss this other guy or meet him again, and that she made it up to "make the breakup easier". The conversation actually went nicely until she hinted at getting back together and I didn't jump at the opportunity. She immediately became her old hostile self again and the conversation ended very badly. A week and a half later, she sent a very nasty e-mail that she called her "final word", where she revealed a third version of her story: she actually did see this other guy about 4 times that month, but hadn't kissed him until the day before she wrote the e-mail. At the very least, she proved herself to be a liar. She told me in the e-mail to not contact her in "any way, shape, or form!". Ironically, her number popped up on my caller ID several times a month until late January, when it finally stopped. (She dumped me in August) And no, I didn't take those calls! She killed any post-relationship friendship we could have had with the lies and the e-mail.

[Ariana Celeste]

60. i just told him i couldnt do it anymore.

carted my shit out of his house and flew out of state.

[mainegreen]

62. The gov't showed up asking questions about her.

Very pointed questions about things I did not know about and did not want to know about. Bad and scary things. The problem was, I had no problem believing what the official people were saying. Needless to say, when she next called I told her to stay the hell away from me.

[LostinVA]

63. My ex was in the other room watching "Lost"

While my current (ie Haruka) was in my room with me watching mTV.

So, we ended it on friendly terms, which is a good thing all around.

[GaYellowDawg]

64. I let her end it.

We were both miserable, and the end was inevitable. She didn't want to admit it just yet. We left school for the summer, and I'd drive up to see her every other weekend, but there was definitely a breakup coming. Since I knew it, I was prepared.

So I got there one day, and she said, "We need to talk." Then she went on about maybe seeing other people, and I was very agreeable; it was kind of funny because I think she was expecting a big argument because she'd get tense, say something, I'd be agreeable, she'd get a really confused look on her face, relax, and then go on.

Then she had this whole package of my stuff to give to me and said that I could get her stuff back to her whenever. Remember when I said I was prepared? I'd packed her stuff in a bag two visits prior. I said oh, no worries, I've got your stuff out in the car. I wish I could have videoed the double take. So I went out, got her stuff, took it in to her, gave her a good-bye kiss, and it was over. If our relationship had been as civil as our breakup we'd probably still be together.